Got to have some goals

As the new year approaches I've been thinking that on the vacation that I am going on for the almost two weeks I feel it's quite appropriate with how I live my life. I've really not done much. I really don't check my email that often, maybe once a day. I have played on the PS3 and watched a lot of Community. I've gone out an ran, but nothing that is remarkable. So I guess it's time for myself to reflect on what I've got going for me and look into the future (something that I am loathed to do). I see that in June starting June 16 till maybe June 30 I really don't have anything to do and will be my summer vacation. With that being in mind I feel it's time to do something that is a bit different. Instead of going back to Charlotte and having all the good and bad memories fill up, I've been thinking about going cross country. Just myself, my car (I kinda need one to do this), a journal (to recap all the things I see and my thoughts), a watch, a tent (to sleep in-obviously), running shoes, change of clothes, water, gatorade. There are probably other things that I will need to bring, but one thing that I wont bring is a razor. I guess I'll have to bring a phone, because I would rather not have the worry that I get in trouble and not tell people.

So that's my plan. Run in the morning, drive to a place, explore said place, find a place to sleep for the night, and repeat it till I reach the Pacific. Then taking a different route back to DC.

Back in the habit

...there's always a thought to look ahead. I guess as a runner there are goals to put and then be an expectation to reach them. Goals are good. Probably better in life than running, I would have to say. Of course goals are like new year's resolutions, they start out with a bang and within two weeks are left on the dresser. One thing that always gets me right now is one question that I get from time to time. Where do you see yourself in (insert time) years? My answer usually is one that is what people want to hear, but really I don't know. If you were to ask me two years ago that I would be in DC, I wouldn't have believed that. So I have to assume that in two years from now it will probably be something different and unbelievable to me now.

That's always the thought process that I have. Where do I go from here? I really don't know. It's one of those things that will work itself out. I really have to have a positive outlook on things I guess.

Boring bit:

Ran about 8.6 miles on part of the Shamrock 4 mile course. That building that they are constructing is going to be massive. Did 4 strides. The road to getting fit is beginning.

Prince Hal grows up: Elf Run Recap (A race within a race)

...there comes a point where sometimes you have to think about something that's happened in the past and you can go two ways: you can either let it continue to effect you or you can move on in a positive way. I'm sure there are other ways that you deal with it, like totally ignoring it and pretending that it never happened, but that's something that happens in a communist country and for the sake of this post we will pretend that it never happened. But sometimes you have to think, is this really what I need to be doing, is this really how I should be acting, or what I think is the best way to go about it? When you swear to never to do something in your life again, there's no real way to come back. Of course if you swear to never to do something in your life again, you have the same mentality as a five year old, and knowing quite a few that's not rational thinking all the time.

So I got the facebook invite some time again and immediately said no. I think I was the only one who actually said no. When asked why, I said that I had plans. My thought process when things go bad is to ignore it and it will go away. Well it seems to work well enough, most of the time. But in the past couple days a higher authority came to me, Airheart, and asked me if I could go and serve as some sort of ambassador. Well it's much harder to say no to her than other people, and besides was there some time for closure? I think so. I mean I had gone to a couple state meets and a footlocker race, and I've kinda let go, but there hasn't been the welcome back feeling that I have experienced that I kinda wanted.

...I got down with the warm up and my back tightened up. And then I thought back to an obscure line from an obscure movie and I immediately started to cackle in the fire station. Doctor said I need a backiatomy. I don't know why, but I still think of that whenever I have back pain. I knew that this race was totally going to be painful. I hadn't done much running for a month, I hadn't done anything that resembled any speed work in a month, in the end I was going to have to rely on my experience as a road racer to get my old bones through this race. And to compound it an Olympian was running the race. Nerves? Please!

...the night before I was a bit nervous. What was I going to say? Who was going to be there? What would happen? Would it be bad? Even leading up to that afternoon I took a nap but couldn't really sleep all that well because I was unsure of what to expect. You can't really be sure how people are going to react to you. You can tell people you have changed and even act like you've changed but some people will still view you as you were in the past. So I headed over to a place that I've been hundreds of times, a place that I've held court hundreds of times. But alas I haven't been the sole authority figure at the benches for nearly two years, three months, and x amount of days, but seriously who is counting! And for an instance I stayed in my car wondering what to do. I didn't see anybody. So I just stood in my car, and then I thought you gotta get out. So I did. I say J-Scan, he smiled, gave me a hug, and it was back.

...from the first step I knew that this race wasn't going to be good. Fam got out and he never had a single person run with him. There was about five or six people that bolted out and I was left catching my breath. Uh I'm hoping they come back. No really I hope they come back. I was looking at my watch every couple of seconds. What's my pace? What is it? Oh man it hasn't even been a half mile. Well this isn't good. First mile 5:33 seriously I don't know what to expect. It seems that we were running a bit further than we should. Someone asked me if were suppose to turn left now. I don't know, but I don't think we turn left cause that leads us to 77. I was in the crap position. Don't get passed. I ran passed the one mile mark and it was at 1.3 in the race. Somehow this did not compute in my head accurately.

...and then they all started to trickle in. And one by one there were hand shakes and hugs. It was just like old times. The familiar faces. The familiar laughs, cliques, postures when they stood. It was all coming back. And like everything else coming back came when it was time for the old emperor to lead the charges back. Elephant in the room. Going over the line. Well if you had to ask me, if you don't know me, did I mention it and straddle it. Yes and yes. Of course if this was a staple of my public speaking, it included some bad jokes, some bad puns, and some self aggrandizing (someone here ran a 2:44 marathon, I forgot who it was...OH WAIT IT WAS ME). Some laughed. It was a time to have fun. No real statements. No real things that could be said. No time for sorry. It was a time to forget what has happened in the past. Someone said what if what's happened the past years was a dream and that we all woke up and it was a regular high school practice.

I want to say it was January or February, and I actually had that dream. That everything had been a bad dream. I woke up and didn't know if it was a dream or not. And for a split second I was in that state where it was happy and sad. And then I came to the realization that it had not been a dream, that everything happened.

...at the turn around I was feeling awful. My garmin went off for two miles and I didn't think to much of it. I can't really say anything about the race or the course. I didn't run with anyone and the course was particularly boring. At the third mile beep I kinda realized uh this isn't right. Where is the finish line? Then I realized yep we are running this long. I didn't relax. I actually caught someone in front of me, out kicked them for about .1 miles. I ended up running close to 5:46 pace for 3.42 miles. Not to shabby. I felt like I was going to die after the race. I went into the fire station and ate some food. Well this is where I have to go from now. Figures. Now I know what I have to do. Well that makes it much more fun to do then. I don't know what I am going to race, but I know I have to get in shape.

...and then we started to run. And it all came back. I've run with friends before, I've run with groups before. But it can't stand a candle to this group. It was so much better. Why? I can't really say. You have to have been a part of it to understand. It's that simple. Unless you were there then you really wouldn't get it. Do you touch the tree right before the 1.5 mile mark? Do you stop at the 1 and shoot the breeze, while you are suppose to stretch? Do you see the different color boardwalk peg at the 1 and cackle when you realize why it's there? Do you remember the segway cops? Do you remember all the different things? People make running really difficult. It's not the SAT's. People can take the fun out of it. People can make it seem really nerdy DO WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT RUNNING WHEN WE ARE RUNNING? Sometimes talking about training or who won what marathon is just boring and sometimes you need to talk about things that are, shock, fun. And that's what it was like. The good old times. And you realize yes that was some time again. Yes I am turning thirty this year. Oh man am I old. Can I just go back and do this again. No you can't. You can't ever go back. But you still have a selective group. Never forget that.

...and so on the cool down, where Stan and Allen left me to go back, I was running along a country road by myself there really wasn't a thought going through my head. I wasn't that bummed. I wasn't that concerned. Oh well that's the way things go. I was listening to NPR before the race and they were focusing on a rally cry that is being used in Libya. It's Kenny Roger's The Gambler, and focusing on the lyrics sometimes you got to know when to hold them and when to fold them.

As the sun was fading and night was about to come, I realized that this wasn't to bad. Take credit well I can't really say that. I didn't organize it. But someone had to lead it. That thought always makes me think. Me, the leader. Ha! There were things that could have been said. Things that could have been brought up, but really what would they have accomplished? And that's when you realize that you've changed. Maybe not for the better, but something inside of you. What is it? You don't feel it. You can't really say what it is. But you know what it is. And frankly you have to figure to yourself that the only person you have to convince that you've really changed is yourself and that's all that matters.

So, when this loose behaviour I throw off
And pay the debt I never promisèd,
By how much better than my word I am,
By so much shall I falsify men’s hopes;
And like bright metal on a sullen ground,
My reformation, glitt’ring o’er my fault,
Shall show more goodly and attract more eyes
Than that which hath no foil to set it off.
I’ll so offend to make offence a skill,
Redeeming time when men think least I will.

Henry IV Part 1

Year in Review: Pictures with Funny (but mostly unfunny) captions

Right before the start of the Charleston Marathon. At the end on the left side. I'm hoping to either a) slip on something and not race or b) have Stan take me out so I don't race. Mostly I really didn't want to race.

At the end of the Shamrock 4 miler, where *shock* I look like an actual runner. I would like to say that I was the one who originated the headband look for races in Charlotte, but that would be a bit pretentious of me. But seriously I started it and when there were imitators I had to let it go.

Skyline 5k race. In the orange shorts. Yep I look like I'm in pain and not enjoying the race.

Sometimes you think you look good and then you see a picture and realize that it wasn't the case, and you looked really bad. This was not true here. I knew I looked bad and it was only reinforced from seeing this picture.

Giving about 10% here.

Are we having fun yet?

Bogey sad after I left. Blog post to read if you want more perspective: http://fatmcmahon.blogspot.com/2011/06/boy-and-his-dog.html. Warning you might cry if you read it.

Around mile 16 of the marathon. Stride=good. Feeling=not good.

Earthquake damage in my apartment.

Wait a minute! What's with the fancy pants picture. This is a running blog, right? Stick to that. You're not that great at it but stick to it.

A fourth place finishers plaque sitting askew on an empty bed, that doesn't look like it really means much to whoever has it. Any takers??!!

Various running medals (or crap) protected by T-Rex. Here's to 2012!!!

Self Indulgent Post Part I: Running Blah Blah in Review Blah Blah

Now it appears time for me to write a recap of my running year of 2011. How did it go? Some races were good, some races were bad. The sun came up and the sun went down. The tides came in and the tides went out. Got some PRs in some distances. Will I remember everything about the year? Probably not. Of course before you read any further keep one thing in mind: DUDE IT'S JUST RUNNING. It doesn't matter how much money you pay for fancy running clothes, watches, any assorted running crap* it really a simple sport. I don't really know why I do it. There's no real purpose, I'll eventually get slower. But for now I enjoy what I do. I do put mythological aura when it comes to running. I don't need to go out into the woods to truly feel blessed about doing something that is rather elementary. I don't get that enthusiastic about races, because I'll know I'll run more. There will be good races and bad races. Awards and medals don't mean much to me. Places in a race and times are nice, but ultimately it comes down to how I feel about the race, and if I feel great about it then it doesn't really matter what other people think.

*From the guy with a Garmin watch.

So without further ado here is what I can remember about the races that I have ran this year. Maybe a brief synopsis with a couple sentences and I'll finish it all with goals for 2012. So if you don't have a sense of humor don't read on.

January

At first I didn't think I ran a race in this month, but then I realized I did. I paced the Charleston Marathon. I was suppose to run a 3:15 but nobody in my pace group listened to me (a recurring theme later on in the year). So I ended up running something like 3:19 or 3:17 I'm not really sure. I wasn't really motivated to do this race. I said I would do it and held myself to this decision, but felt that this was not a wise choice. The course wasn't that great. I ended up driving home after the race with the goal to see how fast I could get out of Charleston. There were some positives like getting yelled out at the expo by some elderly women because I didn't know if there would be a pace group for 10:30 minute miles (maybe train faster?), getting lost in Charleston with Allen, eating everything that you shouldn't before and after a marathon and not feeling that bad.

Also in January I started graduated school again at UNCC. It was ok. I went to DC to interview for a job**. I saw snow.

**Spoiler: I got it.

February

The only month where I didn't race. I went to watch a race, which is something I am loathed to do if I'm not racing. What could be more boring than watching people run? Watching people run on TV? But I went to watch Cupid's Cup, the year before I finished third or fourth I'm not sure. I didn't run this year because I wasn't in shape from the marathon fatigue, so I watched. There were a lot of people I knew running and most everyone ran well. I did a workout after the race and confirmed how out of shape I was. I don't think there was any motivation to do any races in the month, so I just trained and chilled.

Of course in this month Ol B-Mizzle came to town and made some poor choices. But things happen you deal with it and move on. And afterwards I imposed a self exile on facebook and athleticore. I did this before in November 2009 and had two people call me up worried if I was ok. In 2010 nobody called or emailed me if I was ok, that's probably because of a combination of things, but it just confirmed what I already knew. The things I joke about not really being true were actually true. (Although I've never ran a race and won and had that race not reported)

March

I began my racing 2010 season on a course that I have ran numerous times, on a road numerous times. It was the beginning of the end. I wasn't sure what I was going to do. I thought I was in good shape, but I had to see what was going to happen. Sometimes you know that you are going to run well from the first step. It also helps if you have confidence. I ran the Shamrock 4 miler in a PR of 21:34 (or something like that). I finished fourth. Did anything really change after the race? Not really. I just ran a bit faster but was the same person. It was an ok race, and I felt that maybe I could have ran faster. I got beat by two runners that were a lot faster than me, and lost to someone that ran a 5k the night before (again!!), and felt that I didn't have the physical toughness to gut it out on the third mile. Oh well last time I'm running that race again. Not to shabby.

So I got the job in DC but still went to school. I hung out with Dustin and John and did some runs with Kent. I can't think of too much to say about this time. Of course when I showed up to the Shamrock race people would say "WHAT YOU ARE STILL HERE WHEN ARE YOU MOVING TO DC", and I would say (playing with my feet and talking to them) I...uh...think in June". I had to hear this about 100000 times from March to June.

April

I ran way to many races in this month. I ran the Bulldog 5k and finished second, but wanted to win. I ran a PR and knew that I actually couldn't have done any faster than the time. I was something miffed about what I had heard the day before when someone asked me why I wasn't going to do the race seeing that I was out of town. Well I didn't know why that would be said, so I used that to my advantage. The Bulldog race was fun to run and see some people that I hadn't seen in a while. I went out with a plan and came close to doing well, but didn't run that well. I got a 2 mile PR in the race. And had to really reach down in the well to beat a former runner that I coached. Because there was no way I was losing to him.

The other race I did was the Skyline 5k and I knew that I wasn't going to run well at all. I was physically fatigued and had nothing in my legs. I hit the first mile in 5:17 and that felt like death. I tried and lost contact and just tried hard enough not to get passed. I don't remember what my overall time was or place. It was probably something slow. Oh well.

So on the night of the Skyline race I go to the club social downtown and am the DD for Dza. I realize that I am going to have a fun night. The picture that is taken between the two of us I use for my job (well I crop out Dza). Of course it gets to the point where I realize that I'm probably going to sleep at 4:30 or 5am, and that I'm the only sober person in a van on the street somewhere in downtown Charlotte. These are quite unusual circumstances you place yourself in.

May

I ran the Twilight 5k. I got done with the warm up and really just wanted to get in my car and go home. I didn't really feel like doing the race and really didn't want to talk to really anyone. Of course I'm to nice of a person to complete ignore pleasantry so I talk and pretend to be interested in the race. I see Sunde and decide to set the pace for him in first mile and hang on from there. Which turns out that I run behind him for the first mile in something like 5:04 and realize that I really don't want to do this race anymore and just jog and stop a couple times in the race. I nearly run 18 minutes for the race. I find the whole process of competition in these races a bit humorous. What does it matter what place I come in? What does it matter what time I run? There are much more important things to do other than worry about times/workouts/races/running related things. I take a long break from running and wonder if there really is a reason to actually run again. It's an interesting thing that I really didn't mind taking a couple days off from running and not have to worry about if I am going to get my run in. Sometimes it doesn't really matter one way or the other. You're putting a foot in front of the other relatively fast.

On a lark I entered the WWC 10k and decide to run it for the heck of it. Did I feel refreshed or OMG THIS IS SO WHAT I NEEDED. No that's lame and people who think like that are people who will go around from thing to thing to be reassured. It was a new challenge and I wanted to see if I could do it. I ran one other trail race back a long time ago. Fell three times, thought I bruised my lung, looked like I ended up losing a fight with roots. This time I just went out and ran without worry of time or place. I knew that this was going to be hard. I ended up finishing second in the race. It wasn't bad. I felt muscles working that hadn't worked before.

June

I ran one race a track race. I didn't expect to much. I ran some workouts and ran like crap in them. I was going to run the mile and maybe the 5k. I expected a sub 5 for the mile if I was lucky. I didn't know what to expect. I ran a 4:40 in the mile, not bad. I ran a 17:06 (or something close) in the 5k, not good. I guess this started to confirm to me that workouts and worrying about them/or doing them was overrated. I nearly ran a PR in the mile without any real work. I ended feeling pretty good about the mile race. Just ran the 5k for fun and that was what it turned out to be.

In this month I left for DC and was able to have some fun. I was thinking about having a going away party at a friends place, but was told "How many people will show up? Nobody." And I had a going away run the day before I left and two people showed up and when I relayed this to someone in the know they said that's about two more than I thought would show up. So I left Charlotte on my own terms, well not really, but with my head held high. The last night I ended up going out with John and Dustin and that was great.

July

I ran one race in Maryland. I ran the Twilight 8k. I got a PR of about 5 seconds. I didn't run as well as I could. It was humid and hot and hilly. Oh well. I honestly don't remember anything else from this race, other than it taking an hour to get to the race on the train.

August

I came back to Charlotte after a week long conference in Nashville. I shouldn't have ran the race. I felt sick coming off the plane. I was sweating a lot in the warm up. I ran a 5:20 mile and felt like crap. I had walking pneumonia. I did not feel good. Another 5k where I ran bad. Oh well. In Charlotte it was good to see friends that I hadn't seen before.

September

I ran one race, it was a half marathon on the C&O Trail. I warmed up from my apartment and then ran the race. It was 4.5 from my place. It was hot and not a lot of shade. I felt ok. I lead for most of the race. I got passed by this guy around mile 6, he also beat me at Thunder Road, and then let this other guy beat me for second. I didn't want to race him that bad. My time was 1:18 something or whatever 5:59 pace was. It was a good training run. Got a medal, it's still unopened in my kitchen. It was at this point where I wasn't that pleased running and thought about quitting, because what was the point?

October

Ran a race got second, didn't realize there was money involved. Should have tried harder. Felt ok, not in particular great shape. But hey it was ok. There wasn't much to say about this race. Ran smart and that translated to an ok day.

November

The month of the big race. I did ok. I ran well, but forgot gels so I didn't have a fun last 10 miles. Was it that big of a deal. I guess for others, but not for me. The race became an instant conversation starter: "I just wanted to say good job in the marathon". "Eh...thanks (stands around awkwardly thinking of something else to say. Can't. Nods head). I've said it before so I'll say it again. Big deal about the race. I don't feel any different than I did at the beginning of the year. I didn't tell anyone at work how I did in the race, and nobody knew how I did until my sister told them. To me it wasn't that big of a deal. Probably could have ran better. Of course satisfaction comes in the form that I did maybe 3 to 5 workouts for this race, didn't do that tempo at or lt tempo crap. I didn't worry about hitting times, workouts. I guess either I'm an outlier or that stuff is just in people's head. I do know starting the race I was thinking early on, you know I'm running this race, it doesn't really feel like a race, it doesn't really feel like anything. Maybe that's why I didn't run so well at the end. I don't know.

So here's the thing I got this giant 4th place finisher plaque/frame. I don't have a car and can't take it on a plane. So it sits on an empty bed in the same spot it's sat since I got it over Thanksgiving break. The medal that I won or received is in the same spot with all the other running crap I've gotten (crap is a harsh word, let's call it stuff). I don't know where exactly the medal is, but it's here in Charlotte with all the other stuff and will probably stay here. I don't think I've ever worn it or really looked at it. These are the things that don't motivate me to run or do well.

December

Not going to run a race this month. Got hurt by something in my foot/toes after the race. Not much more to say about this month.

So in 2011 got PR's in: 5k, 8k, and marathon. I don't know how many miles I ran. It's over 3k. Is that more or less than last year? I don't know. It doesn't really matter. I know I averaged 75 miles over 12 weeks in marathon training, so that right there is impressive (to someone I guess). What will happen in 2012? I would like to get PR's in some events, but if I don't I want to know that I at least tried my best to get them. Will I run another marathon? Maybe. Honestly I would rather see friends do well and achieve their goals than my own. I have specific running goals, but will keep them to myself. But back to the long race, will I announce it on facebook? NO.

Don't get me wrong if you post running related stuff on facebook more power to you, if that gets someone to do something great. But I'm not that person. I don't put that stuff out there and don't really care if people see what I do in a race. If you want to know ask me. Maybe you will get an honest answer. The only person to know is the person telling you. You just have to decide for yourself.

In 2012 I have one race already signed up, will there be more? Yeah I guess so. Will I ultimately let loose on all things and not really care about things that other people care about? (Or does that sentence make any sense?) I'll add pictures of this year in running. Maybe? Perhaps?

You can't dig what you don't understand

This is not a post about running or anything like that. So if you are hoping for a running related post well that ain't happening. Well actually that's not true.

A week off right now. That's what I'm in right now. Nothing doing. Hardly any work to be done. Watching some TV. Recapping some TV shows. Hanging out with some Charlotte friends. I keep having that feeling that in a way that I'm still part of it, but really I'm not. I don't know really how to feel. I guess there are certain things I want to say, but there are certain I feel sum up some thoughts I've been feeling lately.

The top of my foot has been bothering me. I'm pretty sure I have tendinitis. Maybe a swollen foot. It's pretty painful. I should have been smarter and taken more time off after the race, but I didn't. I'm pretty sure it's related to my tight calves. So I've been stretching my calves more often. I've been laying off running. I do miss running, but don't miss a lot of the other crap from running. NCAA's were the weekend. I apply my own thoughts about it in regard to all college sports. These athletes are not as good as the pros, it's enjoyable to watch, but they are inferior athletes and should be treated as such. I don't idolize other runners. I frankly don't care. It was pretty bad that my mom knew more about the New York marathon and that the guy who won ran a fast time and I didn't. I don't really care that much about running since it's not a really enjoyable spectator sport. One thing I think is that there is no constant dominant athlete in the sport. Another reason it's not that popular is that star athletes can quit in a race and drop out. But that's me. I like running and doing races. But talking about running or getting all nerdy into race stats is really lame.

I like Tim Tebow. I don't mind that he can't throw a ball forward. He somehow wins games. I don't mind that he is a Christian. He's the one guy who backs up what he preaches and actually does true missionary work. He goes out and does what he says, so I give him props. I don't mind the religious in your face attitude. If you replace whenever he says Jesus with McRib is makes it better. The other issue I didn't even know is that the lead singer of The Gaslight Anthem is a Christian and that turns some people off. Which is just dumb. But if people who complain about people being close minded can't get over the fact of one person's beliefs then really what is the point of being a punk. That's why I don't care that much about punk music anymore.

I get the Occupy (insert city) phenom. Maybe people should protest that the bail outs banks got from the government were in fact not capitalism, but really socialism. It's fascinating to see a business that loses money get rewarded by getting money. I can't really say what bankers do to deserve to get all that money, but it's too much. I think the lack of ethics that you see from Wall Street or bankers can probably be traced back to school, when you see so many people cheat over and over again on homework or test. Is that the culture we live in now? I find it a bit strange that people call themselves the 53%, but they work 60-70 hours a week, get no time off, and pay their own college loans. Um that's not really living. In fact that's a terrible life. I can't say that's something I would want for myself or anybody. But you have all these people whose political views are shaping their realistic view. If you make less than 250,000$ you are part of the 99%. Deal with it.

I have 1 follower. Oh joy! I think my old blog got up to 11, so I'm doing ok.

Thunder Road Marathon Recap: Alive

For intent purposes this was how I was going to start out this recap...

My typical day starts out like this: waking up around 3:50 or 4 am. Take some time to organize my thoughts and bearings. I go on my computer to see what's going on in the world and to see what the weather is going to be like. I then proceed to run from my apartment building, either heading towards Maryland on Monday or running down 16th street for the rest of the week. There's usually nobody else out, aside from the people waiting at the bus stops. I never see another person running when I start out and usually would see maybe 3-5 people total in the week running that early. I finish my run, do my core and stretching, eat some breakfast, take a shower, then leave for work. I would be at work for twelve hours. I come home take a shower to decompress, do some work, maybe watch some tv and then go to bed. On the weekends, I'll go for a run at a reasonable hour, then come home and stay in my apartment the rest of the day. Never going out. Never interacting with another person.

In the twelve weeks training for the marathon, I ran with another person once. I'm not going to count the cool down I did after the 10k. If you discount talking to people I work with, then I don't talk to anyone. I travel on the metro, seeing faces of different people wondering where they are going, wondering if they think the same thing to me. I see running groups on the weekend at parks, and never feel the need to join them. My morning runs sum up what is happening: a desolate road with a single shadow running by themselves. I'm by myself.

Yep that would have been the start of the recap. You could call it The Depressor. I was going to call it the Loneliness of the Long Distance Runner. But that's not going to happen here. Instead I'm going to talk about the marathon, but not talk about it really. So if your of the mind to read something about how running is some sort of mythological status that takes you places or that it's a metaphor for life. That's not me. That's not how I view running. Honestly running is boring. Talking about running is boring. It's a dying sport. It has more in common with newspapers. To me running is putting one foot in front of another fast. When people ask me why I run, I simply say because.

...whenever I watch the movie Alive, there are a couple thoughts that go through my head. It's really a testament to what human beings can do in the face of adversity. It's the type of thing where you really find out the true character of a person. In the face of total hopelessness you see who will never give up. Who will constantly try to find a way to fight on. In the movie Ethan Hawke is the star of the movie. But there's another actor in the movie who brings it. In fact he always brings it in every movie. Whenever I see him in a movie I'm going to watch it because I know at least one of the actors will be good. And I always wonder why this guy isn't more popular. And then it hits me. I don't know the guys name. I can't name it off the top of my head. Maybe that's the reason.

Now what does Alive have to do with the race? Well it will soon be answered.

I got into Charlotte at 10:30 and had to wait at baggage to pick up my carry on bag, because the plane was full and I couldn't take it on. I got picked up by my mom and went to the convention center to pick up the packet. Even though I hadn't been in Charlotte for nearly three months, I knew all the roads like the back of my hand. It was like I hadn't left. I got to the convention center and went down to the basement to pick up my packet. I think there has only been one year when I haven't ran the Thunder Road races. So I knew what was going to go down and really didn't have a need to buy anything at the expo.

I got home ate some lunch and watched Horrible Bosses. After that I had to write up some lesson plans, which took me some time. Aside from some breaks and a nap I finished around 7. I ate some dinner and watched some basketball and then went to bed around 9. I was going to wake up at 4:30 which was sleeping in for me. I went to bed and what seemed weird I was not nervous. In fact usually when I have raced a marathon I get some sort of dreaded feeling a week or two beforehand where I worry myself that I haven't done enough long runs or that I'm not prepared. But not for this race. I woke up. Took my dog out. Ate some breakfast and then took a shower. It wasn't that cold out. I left my house at 6. I parked my car across the street from MAC. And decided to do a warm up mile to see how my hamstring was. It wasn't that tight and I was feeling confident that today could be a good day. As I was walking to the convention center I had this sense, that no matter how I run at noon I'll be eating a burger. So honestly it didn't really matter one way or another. I was going to either do well or not. That's how it goes.

There's a picture of myself when I was coaching. It's from my first year in 2008. It's at regionals at McAlpine. I look agitated and annoyed. It's from the coaches meeting. I was this tense before the race had even started. I was tightly wound up at this point. It had to take a lot of things for me to relax and get more a Ty Webb approach to things. When I got asked about how I was going to do in the race from some co-workers I was pretty much nonplussed. It was also how I handled myself on a lot of things. I wasn't going to be worried about that many things. I wasn't going to sweat the small stuff. Things were going to get done, because if not then (if it's for my job) then I wouldn't be employed. So I really wasn't that worried.

I found out the convention center wasn't opened and I wasn't that bad. I went over to the Westin and sat down. What was I thinking about? Nothing. Honestly I didn't think about anything. I ended up walking to baggage claim at 7:30 and put my bag away in my rush I forgot to include my gel. I left it in my shorts which were in the bag. Big mistake. I realized this when I got to start line. I wasn't that happy. I talked to Stan and he offered me a gel, but it was a flavor I didn't like or had so I didn't want to risk it.

I got to the start line and then the race started. Honestly I had no idea what I could run. Maybe 2:40. Maybe 2:50. Maybe 3 hours. I had no idea. But one thing that I really wanted to concentrate was on my form. Just relax and work on my form. And that's what I did. I felt very smooth and knew that I was running well. There was one thought in the back of my mind, I really hope there is a gel station on the course because I'm on borrowed time. After mile 4 on Providence I passed Dustin's house. I remember the last time I was there I helped him move. HOW MANY COUCHES CAN YOU BRING. THIS IS MY NIGHTMARE. Although his mom did make killer french toast. I ended up feeling good for a long part of the beginning of the race. I got up to 8 miles or so and the biker was next to me. I asked him what was on the front of his bike. He said third place male, which is what I was. Well I couldn't believe it. Really. Well this might be good. But I wasn't patting myself on the back.

For most of the race it's boring to talk about. I mean I felt good and ran like it. It didn't feel like I was trying and I was clicking sub 6 minute miles. That's about it. I got to the half past 79 minutes which is what I wanted to do. I had to stop and tie my shoe about a mile later. At 16 I asked Kent if he had a gel. Later on he told me "What the hell B-Mac." is what he was thinking. It was at this point when I knew I wasn't going to be feeling good. The only calories I had put in my body were sips of gatorade. The crash was coming but I was still positive. I got some shot blocks but they really weren't that helpful. I got to around 18 and I heard this voice that sounded like God or the Devil yelling out BRIAN MCMAHON. I looked around and saw Bubonic Funk playing and that the person yelling out my name was the drummer, Daniel Allison, who I use to coach.

At this point I was staring in AMC's The Walking Dead. Kent said my stride was smooth. I knew it was. The frustrating thing was I had no gas from the lack of calories and that my calved tightened up on both legs. But I soldiered on. I didn't want to run a 7 minute mile. I didn't. My thoughts of running a 2:40 or faster marathon ended. I knew that as long as I kept it positive I would PR. I ended up running under 2:45. Not bad. It is what it is. I finished fourth overall in the race. Not something I cared that much about. I did some sort of Bjorn Borg/Roger Federer finish but felt dumb for doing it, right after finishing it. I wasn't that tired or spent. I was during the final 10k, but at the finish I felt ok. I took my singlet off and walked around. I talked to some people and then when it seemed that I really didn't want to stay around for awards went home. I was going to take a shower and then I looked in the mirror. OH MY GOD!!!!! LOOK HOW SKINNY I AM!!!!!!!!! Now I'm not that big of a guy. Maybe low 140s for my weight. But in the mirror I can say the adjective I'm looking for is skeletonish. I could see every rib. I had to have lost 10 pounds during the race. During the race my body needed to consume something for calories and decided to eat myself (well I do have a tasty nugent center). I then ate a lot to get this back, which is a terrible idea and I was sick for ages.

I went out that night with Chris, Kent, Karen, and Jill. We went to the Penguin. And I had a lot of fun. It was a great night. Sometimes when you think about something and some of the things you miss, a night like that brings it back.

So some thanks now but really to two people in particular: Kent for riding next to me for most of the race, giving me positive vibes and being there. Chris for helping me out and riding next to me, positive vibes, offering up things for me, and for always being there when things when bad a long time ago. If there is one thing I miss about Charlotte is hanging out with these guys and then fun we have. Do we take ourselves seriously? Maybe not so much, but we have fun and don't take things so seriously. It's so fun to go out and hang out with them. I had to say it.

For the people of Charlotte who cheered for me thanks. For those who rode with me thanks. For my parents thanks for so many things.

I guess when I think about things about the race it hasn't really hit me that I ran that time. It's not something that I'm going to dwell on. It's not something that I'm going to rest my laurels on. I'm not going to lose that much sleep over it. Mainly I'm pissed right now. I can't believe I didn't have my gel with me. Maybe that helps me out. Maybe it doesn't. But I can't really think to much about it now. I was in Charlotte but gone before to long. I went back to DC and have to work tomorrow. I have a full week of work then a week off for Thanksgiving.

For twelve long weeks the marathon was something that I was looking forward. I don't have that anymore. But I know that I will have something to look forward soon. I have to find it. Now where do I go know from here? I could look into getting a real running coach. But really where is the fun in that? I've got that Lewis and Clark spirit in me. I have the research now from what a person can do without any speed work. I have my schedule down to what I can do and where I can do it. Maybe it's time to take it to another level. A coach might give me some guidance, but I'm think they would probably tell me things I already know.

When I first did a marathon I wanted to do one to see if I could do it. I ran 3:03 and never wanted to run another one again. It wasn't until July of the next year that I decided to run another one. I ran a 2:49. But now that I have ran a 2:44 I don't feel any different than I did two weeks ago. I guess that's the way I feel. I like running. I don't have the vested interest in it like other people. It's the sort of thing where I do it, not because I have to, but because I want to. I do my own thing and don't really worry anymore. I'm still concerned about how well I do, but I have that confidence in how things are going. I know that I've got some true friends out there and more than I thought.

When I left Charlotte I wasn't sure what was going to happen. I like to think that I'm the same type of person. I hope that still stays true for a long time.

Yep Yep Yep

Why hello! Let's see what has been going on. It snowed. It got cold. Well that's about it. Let's see what else. Well I am feeling good about work. Thanksgiving is coming up. The best holiday around. A FACT NOBODY CAN DENY!!!

And now it comes to where I decide to say things on my mind. I get to run a race in Charlotte this weekend. Do I feel like posting on facebook. Well not really. I'm pretty sure that most people don't care about how well I do or if I really run. If people really want to know how I do in a race, well then I'm going to start posting other things that aren't that important. Like the following:
-for breakfast had an orange creme yogurt...lics
-why isn't my cable working
-listening to lasso by phoenix...IN MY BRAIN
-why can't the warm side stay warm and the cold side stay cold

But shouldn't I take it one step further and have a sign displaying that I am running a race. I think if I'm that obnoxious and posting something that means something to me, but to nobody else on the internet, why not in everyday human interaction? I think that would work. It's one of those things that would really let people know how important I think of myself. WHY THESE PAUPERS I CARE NOTHING OF THEIR PLIGHT!

Of course it's one of those rare occasions where I will be running and the expectations are so low. Man can I run a marathon under 3:20? Maybe! Where will I stop caring in the race, mile 2 or mile 16? Of course going into the race as the last one of where I will be an actual runner is one where I know that the end is coming. It will be enjoyable. I will go out on the terms that I want to. It's time to do what is right and give it up while I still have time to do other things. So when you see me out there, just think to yourself...the party's over.

Story of my life

...for some reason I really like Social Distortion. They are just one of those bands I like to listen to. There older stuff is good, they have some new stuff that sounds well to. I really like the rock-abilly, country, punk mix that they use. The sound is gritty. I really couldn't say that identify with anything they sing about, but I'll say that I enjoy it. So what does this have to do with anything? I'm not sure. But I'll take this segway into what it going on...

For awhile I was off and it was not really something where I wanted to write. Some nights it was tough to do anything. I would get home and just be completely exhausted. I was tired and would make some dinner, do some work, and then go to bed. I think if Captain Hindsight was around he would probably say that training for a marathon and working this job was not the way to go. Waking up at 4am to run has it's ups and downs. I start running around 4:17-4:20am, so I'm still not really up and my legs are somewhat shot. I don't have that pep in my legs until maybe the halfway point. And with that I'm prepared to lower the expectations for the race. Ideally I wanted to do workouts and what not, but frankly it just wasn't in the cards. So a sub three hour finish is my goal. I think this is the last hurrah for me as a runner. I'm probably going to go out in style and put myself into pasture. It was great while it lasted but it's something that I can let go.

I don't know who reads this so if the last couple sentances dissapoint you, then so be it. It doesn't bother me. I've changed my perspective when it comes to this race. Things I am looking forward to seeing when I go to Charlotte: My dog, my family, my friends. That's the order. I'll have fun at the race and run my thing, but I'm going to be relaxed and enjoy the feeling. I don't mind going out for a run and what not, but the hours I'm working aren't making it condusive to training.

That's how things are with me.

Boo! Run for your life 10k Recap: Kismet

OH WE BACK!!!!!!

We've got a race recap. Could I go the traditional way like so many others and talk about certain things? OH RACE STRATEGY! OH HOW I AM FEELING! OH HERE IS WHAT I HAVE BEEN DOING! I'M NOT CALLING ATTENTION TO MYSELF BUT I AM THAT GOOD!

That could be easy. I could be a follower. I could be a sheep. But I'm in DC now. When I'm in DC and want to play some music you know what I play? MINOR THREAT RAWWWWWWW

/actually plays mumblecore emoish band while wearing tight pants and argyle sweater

Because Minor Threat is from DC and on their only album they have a sheep on it. I don't know what the symbolism or metaphor is or where I'm going, but you know I just made one.

So where to start? Let's go to Friday because that's where it's going to beginning:

Friday

It was a half day at school and I was desperately hoping that by 5 I would be out of there. Well what happens is that I had to compile homework and I wasn't able to leave till 6. Bummer. Anyway I had a plan. I was going to go to the Harris Teeter near U street and get my pre-made pasta that I always have the night before a race. Grilled chicken and shells. AHHHHH! It's been so long. There was one problem I didn't eat lunch that day, so walking into the supermarket I was starving. BIG MISTAKE. I started to walk around and I got hit by the smells.

OH THAT LOOKS SO GOOD!

THAT GUDA IS THE SIZE OF MY HEAD! MUST HAVE!

THE CAKES! THE COOKIES! IT'S BEEN TO LONG!

In conclusion never buy food on a empty stomach. I was able to get my pasta, the take and bake bread. I need some bagels and cream cheese and liquid soap for the dishwater. Got that. Oh what did I see that caught my eye? Could it be? Halloween oreos. Dare I? Oh I dare! Then walking down the frozen food aisle I saw it out of the corner of my eye. Gino's East Frozen Chicago Deep Dish Pizza. FATTY MUST HAVE!

/disregards the 35-45 minute cook time

I ended up getting home at 7:15 and made my pizza. Now my mom is from Chicago and she is also the insane (the two are not related) and she always orders frozen pizza's from Gino's rival. There are seven of us in the house and she orders like 5 pizzas. Nevermind that 1 pizza is enough for seven people, but 5. It's impossible to finish. We freeze them. She orders them at Thanksgiving and then it's probably around Christmas time when you look into the freezer and see OH MY GOD IS THAT A PIZZA IN THERE???!!! And my two reactions are A) must eat or B) that can't be good (but I'll still eat it).

So I cooked the pizza. And well ehhh it wasn't that great. The sauce wasn't up to par, more like spaghetti sauce but the thing that always (repeat: ALWAYS) saves deep dish pizza is the crust. I could just eat previously eaten crust and I would be ok. I was somewhat tired and went to bed around 11 after watching some baseball.

Saturday

Well not much happened this day. I woke up at 6:45 (trying to sleep in till 7) and went out for a run. I was going to run 7 to get close to 80 for the week. I wasn't going to taper for the race and wanted to continue with my mileage. My day revolved around watching college football and work. I had the chicken and shells. OH I FORGOT ABOUT YOU! It was great. I savored every bite. It was what I wanted. I can't forget the bread! TAKE AND BAKE! Forever in my heart.

Sunday

I woke up at 5:30. The day before I looked at my bib number for registration and I already knew that this was going to be a great race. Bib number 704. Was that a sign? I was thinking so. I had breakfast, bagel with cream cheese and some chocolate milk. I was feeling good. I was able to do this race because the MLK dedication was happening and the metro was opening two hours early. I hoped on the train at 6:30 and got off around 6:55 at the Smithsonian. I ended up getting lost and walking around, but eventually found the race site at 7:25.

It was a cool day. I got a brief 11 minute warm up. At first I felt great! But after a couple minutes I didn't feel that great. I kinda had a strategy. I was going to go a bit slow and see what happens after that. I got to the starting line and saw about five other guys that looked like they mean business. So I figured that a sixth place finish was my worst case scenario. The gun went off!...

I ended up starting in third. I was feeling great. Other than hacking up mucus and having a cough I was fine. I was running well. I saw the guys in front of me and figured that I could beat them. I was just chilling and hit the first mile at 5:40, which honestly was where I wanted to be. The second mile we made our first turn. It was at this point where the guy dressed like a matador ran with me. We ran together in a second-third place spot for a 1.25. I hit the second mile in 5:43, but felt pretty good. The only problem was that I had a bit of a cramp in my stomach. But other than that and the wind coming off the Potomac I was good. I hit the third mile in 5:37 and knew that this was going to be a good day. I hit the 5k at 17:41. Well that's not to shabby. It was at this point the matador, who I found out was named Richard, took off and caught first place and plowed on to the win.

On the fourth mile I was not feeling well but I didn't let it get to me. I knew that the lack of speed was something I was missing, but hey I have the endurance and stamina to get me to the finish. On the the fourth mile I hit 5:49 but my garmin was saying it was .03 long. But whatever it was at this point where we were taking our turn to the finish. It was a long 1.5 miles straight ahead, but I peaked and saw that I had a thirty second lead on fourth place. Now was the time for B-Mizzle to think. Coast or go after second place. At the fifth mile I hit 5:41 and was five seconds behind the second place guy. Well time to make a move. I ended up catching him a quarter of the mile in. At this point I threw in a surge for ten seconds and then chilled. The guy came back to me. Now was a chance to see what this guy was made of. He ended up catching me and just staying with me. Well that told me all I needed to know. That he didn't have it in him to beat me. After that I got really pumped up and then threw in a hard ten second surge and broke the guy. At this point I smiled and thought I just got second place in this race. I kinda scolded myself and said the race isn't over yet. But the sixth mile was my fastest at 5:29 and finished with a 65 second last quarter. I finished second with a 35:06. I wasn't that worn out, but I was pleased.

I had no idea what I could run. I had no idea where my fitness was. But damn I forgot what it was like to run a race. I had a smile running at the end and knew that the work I was doing was paying off. I don't harbor any illusions of running things fast, but I know that I've got some base and things are going to fall in place. A second place finish was very nice. I am back to racing and finishing where I should be.

After the race I ended up meeting up with some guys for a cool down and talked to the winner about running together, so that's a lot better than doing it by myself. As for the awards and waiting for ages they did the awards but forgot second place. The winner got 100$ which nobody knew about. So after they did the awards I asked the race director and he was like yeah I didn't print out the certificate and I will mail it to you. I looked at the table with the cash on it and wanted to ask if I got some, but didn't want to be that guy. I ended up walking home through the crowds and took the metro. All in all a good day.

Embrace it

Tired. Excited. Not sure of this marathon. Getting by. Apartment messy. Haven't done laundry in two weeks. Had a gyro for lunch. Delicis. Tired. Ran on treadmill. Still have lots of work to do. Oh boy the pain is coming. Embrace it.

EARTHQUAKE!!!!!!!!

I was walking this morning on the way to work. I had a weird feeling creep over me. Does work today start at 8? If it does that means I'm late. Why are there all these kids out this early? Oh yeah that's right school starts. But I had a general feeling of weirdness come. It was pretty cool in the morning, it was in the low sixties.

Fast forward to nearly two o'clock. And then a big whoooosh sound hit the window. I said "I think that's construction" because we did have construction workers in the building and it sounded like they were on the second floor. Then a couple seconds later the whole building started to shake. The floors and the walls were shaking. I didn't lose my balance, but it felt like the everything was going back and forth. That's when we all looked at each other and bolted! Well I started to run a bit and then waited to see if everyone was leaving. As I was half-way down the hallway someone said the safest place to be is under the door. And that's when I realized he was right. So I stood under the doorway and then after a couple minutes made my way outside and waited for aftershocks and to see if any gas lines had been ruptured.

Outside I talked about how if zombies and vampires fought one another it wouldn't really make a difference. If a zombie bites a vampire it wouldn't change anything because the vampire is already dead. I also talked about the New Madrid fault line, what to do if this is the end of the world (get a dog, a F150 truck, and a shotgun-maybe a silencer shotgun like in No Country for Old Men). Being outside wasn't all that bad. The only problem is that tomorrow I'm going to have to work extra late to get things ready and then class starts on Thursday.

But what I was really impressed with was how nobody really panicked. In the city things were chaotic but everyday life was going on. No riots. Nothing really out of the ordinary other than the fact that people were walking home from work at two and that traffic was out of control. I think we got everything under control and I think we can handle anything that comes to us.

Excitement

For some reason I feel really good today. I don't know why, but I sure felt better than I did for a Monday. I'm thinking that this positive energy is going to last a long time and it's going to carry over in everything I do. I haven't felt this good for a long time. I'm doing what I need to do and still working to get better. Well not much more to say!

Safety first

One thing that I am really going to make an effort on when it comes to running is to make a movie in my mind. Visualizing what I want to accomplish. When I run I usually make a movie of things that I would make a movie of. But never really focus on running or a race. When I finish my long run it kinda reminds me of two things about Charlotte.

1. The way the trees hang down on Shepard Street kinda remind me of the Dilworth area, in regard to the trees. The houses well not so much. I don't mind the row houses, in fact I like them a lot. One thing I do when I run I focus on for sale signs. I'm interested in property and where I would want to live after my lease ends next June. Yeah it's far away, but I would like to keep my options open. There's a new place being built opposite corner from the metro station and whenever I pass it I go "OH I bet that place is going to nice" and "I'm going to have to go to the open house to see these units". I don't know why.
2. The finish on Shepard Street kinda reminds me of the finish of the Thunder Road Marathon. It's a long straight finish. I would say about .4 of a mile straight. It's flat for a bit, but does have a rolling hill towards the end. So when I pass the Shepard Market store I know that I have a quarter mile to go, and I am starting to visualize finishing the race.

Today I decided to pick it up on the last mile. I wasn't hurting but really wanted to lay off the gas pedal when I was running. The last mile the terrain goes from uneven pavement, single dirt trail, grass, then road. I dislike the trail because it hurts my feet and I just can't get into a rhythm. Also factor in that I am running somewhat uphill (although truth be told it's not on the same level as Charlotte)* I was somewhat impressed to finish my twelve mile run in 6:40.

* One thing that I question is that my garmin tells me that I have a higher ascent running in DC compared to Charlotte. While the elevation of DC is waaay lower than Charlotte, I climb more hills than Charlotte. I don't think that I am running more hills, but maybe I am. I don't know.

The run today meant that I finished the first day and the first run of marathon training. Oh well that begins the adventure. I am now really debating running in the evening after work. Either on the park and greenways or on the treadmill in my building. I think that is much more doable than risking everything and running at 4:30 in the morning by myself. Safety is something I need to do a better job at. I'm really non-chalant about my safety and probably should take better care of myself. I've had the attitude that if I die, well I've had a good time on Earth. But that's something I can't think of. I have an important job and can't risk anything to miss it. And besides I'm sure some of my friends might miss me.**

** For my funeral (if I die somehow or someway tragic) rules for my funeral. Anybody can talk about me, good or bad. PBR and Guinness kegs on tap. No memorial services at a certain school on Pineville-Matthews road.

Now something I'm looking forward to is the new Cobra Skulls album. Got to get back in to my roots! I've been rather slack in my music listening department, but I feel that I'm going to get back into. Rawr!

My running week 8/14-20

I don't know what to call this week. Do I call it a bonus week? Do I call it a week where I came back from an illness to start doing workouts? Do I call it the last week before the PAIN arrives? Do I call it the last week before it's go time? I'm not sure. Does it matter? Are these questions meant to be answered? I'm not sure? This week marked the beginning of returning to work, although it's not full time teaching yet. One thing that I'm glad is that I've gotten a more definite plan for what I'll be doing in work and when it will happen, so I have some directions. Before I begin the training log recap I will have to start with things I don't like: the weather.

Let me tell you something if it's rather cool outside don't taunt me with it getting rather warm in the afternoon. And if there is a nice gentle breeze don't taunt me with humidity. I want it to be one way and not a hodge podge of different things. Also with the weather being nice it's a cruel reminder that it's not going to last because there will be another heat wave, and I'll start cursing it for being so hot. So weather if you want to get cool, I'm fine with that, but stay cool. Once the temperatures start dropping I don't want it to suddenly climb back up for a couple days. That's not cool, that's just mean.

Sunday: 10 miles. Felt better. Was somewhat rainy. Did some strides after the run. Those felt good.

Monday: 9 miles. It was a bit chilly when I went out to run, so I kept my shirt on. But it was humid. Not cool weather.

Tuesday: 13.07 miles. I did a fartlek workout here. It was 2 minutes on with 2 minutes off. I did 10 of them. Ran more than what I wanted to mileage wise. But other than that it felt pretty good doing some speed. I felt really relaxed on them. I guess you have to factor in the fact that the recovery time was pretty lengthy. There was this guy I passed on the third interval, he ended up racing me at the end of the interval. I was not pleased he did this. If I was fit I would have put the hammer down on this guy, but I kind realized that this was not the time or the place to do it.

Wednesday: 11 miles. I would say this was a run under control. A run the day after a workout so I kept it easy. Did 4 strides. Saw someone getting arrested while I was doing strides. This running in the early morning is going to be interesting.

Thursday: 7 miles. I was thinking...this might be my last workout of the year. There is no way I could do them early in the morning, unless I wanted to get arrested. So this might be the swan song of 2011. What I noticed on this track is that it's much tougher than others I have been on. It's still ruberized but it's a tough track. And doing 20 x 300 it really beat up my quads up. I'm still feeling it in my quads on Saturday. I did 100 meter walk in between each one. Not up to fitness to do 100 meter jog. I would say that I averaged 54 seconds (72 quarters) for this workout. Is that good? I'm not sure.

Friday: 9 miles. I woke up tired. I felt tired for the first mile. Got into it after that, but I wanted to treat this as a true recovery run. No strides. Quads a bit beat up. Must embrace pain.

Saturday: 11 miles. Well I wasn't to enthusiastic about running this early, but did it. Not that bad out. Not that bad of a run. Felt sore still but nothing that would cause concern. 4 strides not to bad.

Total mileage: 70.7

Nothing much to say

It's somewhat rainy here in the nation's capital. Nothing new to report here. Was thinking of maybe writing something eloquent, but sadly that's not the case tonight. It's been a week that started out a bit low but has ended high. Things looking up. Looking forward to what will lie in the future.

Brian's Lament

I was thinking about this while I was out running. Man why did I pick running as the sport that I do? I would rather have done basketball or soccer. The thinking was that it's something that I have to do on a consistent basis to maintain the level where I'm at. If I was playing basketball or soccer it's something that I would look forward to on the weekend. It's something where I could coast or even have a beer while I'm doing it. But running I can't do that if I want to maintain the level where I'm at. I could slack off and then run much slower, but honestly if that ever happens then I would probably quit racing and running seriously. I don't think I could subject myself to running slower than I know I have been in the past.

It got me thinking back when I was in college and I decided to start running again during my freshman year. It was probably after Labor Day and I went running. I probably only ran twenty minutes. I didn't really put any thought as to why I was doing it. It was something to keep me from going bored. It was not a means of relaxing stress, instead it was just something I did on a whim. I probably didn't even get serious about it till after college. Now it's something that shapes my identity and it's more like my calling card. I guess when people meet me know that's how they know me. Although being here in DC and working with people who don't run I could make things up about my running and they wouldn't know the difference. But I don't do that. I figure that with running, it's all on a cycle.

I'm lamenting the course that I've taken. It's not the easiest path to take. Although nearly everyone runs (a marathon), but how many people say that they are racing one? I guess there are some instances where I should be afraid of running in the pitch black in DC at 4:30am, but I'm going to buy some mace and run with it. I could take the easy way out and run on the treadmill in my building. I don't think it opens till 5, but still I can make this work. The other thing that I think is that I'm not to sure someone will mug some guy who runs in the same direction that traffic is going while not wearing a shirt.* I guess they couldn't expect me to carry anything more than my keys in my key pocket. But that's what I have to expect. I could shot hoops or run around and fake an injury or I could just suck it up, go out and do things that other people tell me is crazy.

*This lead me to think that in college I would walk back to my dorm on the weekend anywhere from 2-3am. Nothing ever happened. I was always sober and always going to my dorm to sleep alone. I was also a loser for much of college.

I have a week of not having to wake up relatively early and then the fun starts. The only other data that I have from running and school is that I got really worn down during the third week, but I think I can chalk that up to 100+ degree weather for four consecutive days. Where it zapped all my energy and then getting sick around that time. Maybe I'll get worn down and burn out or maybe not. I've got twelve weeks to see what will happen. Hopefully I stay injury free, hopefully I keep my sanity, hopefully I keep my positive nature, and hopefully I have some fun. Oh boy! Oh boy!

A response from the reader(s) please

Training for the marathon is coming soon. Like Sunday. I'm back at work and got my schedule somewhat for what will entail over the fall. Honestly this is what it will look like:

Monday-Thursday

7:15-5:15 @ work

-will probably have a meeting for an hour every day after work (probably for a month, then maybe once a week)

-once a week will have an hour long group meeting

-twice a month will have a three hour meeting from 5-8

Friday

7:15-4:30 @ work

-will probably have a meeting for an hour every day after work (probably for a month, then maybe once a week)

Saturday

Once a month meeting lasting from 10-3:30

I'm trying to find ways when I can get runs in, workouts in, sanity in. I've kinda compiled a schedule that works like this:

Sunday- Long Run

Monday- Easy Run

Tuesday- Workout day but can be flexible and do it...

Wednesday- Workout day

Thursday-maybe a workout day if I did a workout on Tuesday and the workout on Tuesday wasn't that difficult (still with me?)

Friday- Easy Run

Saturday- Do a workout on this day (Thursday's) or easy run

I've wanted to experiment with a 10 day training schedule, but honestly can't do that. So I'm not sure who reads this, if I have any followers, but if you have any advice leave a message or send me a fb note. I'm thinking right now of doing my runs at 4:30 in the morning, because that seems to be the best time to do it. But I am a bit hesitant to do them outside seeing that where I live may not be all that safe, it will be pitch black out, and I'm not real great running that early. Also factor in the additional work that I will be doing outside of work.

Vaca-yawn

Well there's not much more for me to say. I would like to write something that is profound or witty (if that has even been the case). But sadly I'm not in the creative mood to write anything constructive. Maybe I should write a poem, well here is something off the top of my head:

cheese grater hands, encompass the thoughts in my brain

i struggle to adapt to where i am, but to my surroundings

Running is something that I have been doing for so long

M A Y B E it's what I was born to do?

Welp that doesn't seem to exciting.

I've always liked fall. The crisp autumn air, with a whipping gentle cool breeze that penetrates the nostrils. It's seeing the fog lift off a lake early in the morning. It's when the leaves change color and desperately hang on to a losing battle. It's these moments where I feel so alive when I run, even when everything around me is dying. It's the little things that trigger memories to times that are far away, but you can recount dialogue like it's just happening. It's the moment when you can see your breath. It's when your standing outside at night, the sky looks so dark, and you realize that it's cold enough to wear a sweatshirt. It's moment's like this where you would rather be trapped in a time loop recounting the days. But sadly that can't happen. You cling to the past like a leave that you see, and when it starts to fall it goes slowly and gently. But when it falls it's gone forever and there's nothing you can do to get it back.

Hold on, I mean yeah how bad can it be. I mean you have a job. You have money. You're not horribly disfigured. Can you at least lighten up?

How do you say good bye? It's a rather weird thing to say, now in this day and age. Because you really aren't saying good bye, but rather good bye to face to face interaction. But isn't that something we've said good bye to long ago? It's one of those things that maybe people don't realize. It's weird to say.

Ugh! What do you call people who begin a paragraph with a question and then don't answer it?

I've never thought that certain things would happen the way they did, but you know what they did. It's like some sort of cosmic fate that caused me to do things and see what happens. But really that can't be true for everything? I'm not sure. Sometimes I feel that with long periods of inactivity my brain starts to turn to mush.

I liked Dinner for Sucker's a lot more than this. Oh here is what happened in my day "blah blah blah" or I'm not going to talk about running that much but here is a lengthy post about running.

I like to think that I am some sort of survivor. I think back to the past couple years and I am amazed at myself. But what did I really learn from these sort of things? I'm not sure. But honestly it took me leaving to stop thinking about things that I always thought about and always held me back. And yet I still think that maybe it's where I'm going. I can't think about the present. I would rather live my life in my dreams. I'm always day dreaming. Always thinking about certain things when I should be focusing on other things. Well I guess that's the way it should be. I'm not really caring so much about other things as much as I should. But that's the way it goes.

I like how you can express yourself on a blog, but can't do it to another human being.

I guess if someone was to ask me what would be the one thing that I would want to do if I could do it tomorrow. Is that I would go out to mountains or the west or the wild and live how I see fit. If I had someone to do it with that would be cool, but it's not a deal breaker. That's what I would do. I guess I figured out what I would want to do with my life. I'm not to caught up with myself. I hope to do well in races, but if not, well then I didn't. If I do well, then I did well. I don't run for others, for a cause, or any special reason. I do it because. I don't do it for the health benefits. I don't do it because I'm competitive with others, I mean I don't want to get beat, but sometimes I realize there are better runners out there than me, and they will probably beat me. I'm ok with where I am. So if I haven't written in a while it's probably because I'm out in the country living like Jeremiah Johnson

It's almost over

Tomorrow is the last day of my vacation. I have more planned for tomorrow's post. Today well it was a fun day. But really it reaffirmed certain things in myself and where I am, where I want to go, and what I want to do as the days continue. I live in a interesting town to say the least. I just need to figure out where I want to go and how I need to get there. I feel more confident about things, I just need some focus on the outside activities that I am in right now.

Well for something completely different

There are certain things that I don't want to be defined as. I don't want to be "that" guy. I don't want a label after that. I was once asked a question about what I was passionate about. I didn't have an answer. I really not passionate about anything. I wanted to say having fun, but felt that would make me sound like some sort of chump. So I said running, but that I wasn't really that passionate about it, more like I enjoyed doing it but didn't want it to define me. I got a good laugh from people in the crowd for my comment. It wasn't my intent to tell a joke that's the way it came out.

I had to answer what my favorite snack is. I picked kettle chips. But then I said that kettle chips really isn't a snack, it's more like a side dish really or something complimentary. I don't really have a favorite snack.

I don't like my voice. I always thought I had a cool voice and that it sounded really rough or macho. Then I heard my voice on a video. I was abhorred to hear what I sounded like. I sounded very whiny and high pitch. Is this how I've always sounded? How come nobody told me I sounded like this? I was very distraught. Now whenever I talk I think about how whiny I sound.

Sometimes I have ideas for a movie and I'm the main character. And usually this should be an opportunity for me to save the world or something like that. But more often than not the movie is not really all that different from my daily life. Sometimes it's more depressing than it really is. I think I wouldn't want to live in my imagination.

My running week 8/7-13

In a way to be like other running blogs here will be a rundown of boring stuff that really doesn't truly matter to most people, but in a way is documented proof that when it comes to running I am that much better than most. If you want to read about scientific junk, mileage appropriateness, or stuff of that nature than this isn't it.

But before we go into that I'm going to install one thing in this post every week called things I don't like. Today it's the NFL Network and more specifically Comcast. I decided to splurge a bit and order the NFL Network for my cable. I figure why not spend about 10 dollars more a month for that and some other channels. I figure the easiest way to do it would be over the Internet. I go to comcast to order it and find that whenever I click on the NFL Network link, that they advertise, I find that I can't order it in my area. Oh really? Then when I navigated the site a bit I was able to try and order it but found out that I am not the primary account holder, which isn't true since I pay the bill. That means now I'm going to have to call Comcast to order the extra sports programming package BUT MY GOAL WAS TO LIMIT HUMAN CONTACT.

Sunday: Ran 12 miles. This day marked when my parents checked out my lungs to see how it looked when I breathed. My dad took a stethoscope and immediately went OH THIS IS NOT GOOD. NOT GOOD AT ALL. Apparently there was massive amounts of fluid in my lung. I remember this run for the amount of sweat I accumulated.

Monday: Ran 8 miles. Was able to get a car and ran at McMullen. At 4 miles I ran into Thomas, Michelle, and Carolyn. I RAN WITH PEOPLE!

Tuesday: Ran 7 miles. On the Shamrock 4 mile course. It went ok. Although at the end I was hurting stomach wise and sprinted in the house to the bathroom!

Wednesday: Ran 7.5 miles. Last day in Charlotte. It was surprisingly without humidity.

Thursday: Ran 8 miles. First run back in DC. Felt nice and cool.

Friday: Ran 8 miles. Uh nothing really comes to my mind about this run.

Saturday: Ran 10 miles. A surprisingly lack of people out on the trails today. I saw a family of deer with antlers on the trail. I really was wondering what I was going to do if they charged me. Can't run into the creek. Can't run into the trees. I was puzzled. But they didn't charge me.

Total 60.5 miles or so

Facial Hair debate

Another day, another day off. It's kinda strange not doing anything and just lounging around the apartment all day. The good thing is that the weather has been really nice so I have that going for me. One thing that I am debating on what to do right now is what to do with my facial hair? I have a cross between the Dr. Richard Kimball beard and the beard that Ben Affleck had at the end of The Town. I'm figuring that I'm going to shave it completely but what about the poor man version of Ethan Hawke from Training Day? Or do I gowith the Blue Ridge Redux 'stache? It's tough to say, I kinda want to look respectable and I want to not be subject to ridicule so I have to keep it in perspective.

Ah today for dinner, a nice lovely dish of shrimp and lobster ravioli with garlic butter sauce oh! what a meal. The sauce had that nice tinge of butter and had a kick of garlic that really makes the sauce rich. For the ravioli oh I how I love that pasta. You plop it in boiling water and wait for it to rise up and viola! it's done. Was it great? You bet!

Now for the fluid in the lung front. Today is the first day where I feel somewhat normal. I still am coughing and hacking up some phlegm, but at least I can breath well and can run up a hill without feeling that I'm going to suffer a massive heart attack. Starting this Sunday I'll hopefully start to get my legs churning again and mixing some magic in the speed. Marathon training starts on the twenty first and I'm looking ready to go. I have two tune up races on the schedule and I'm looking forward to coming back to Charlotte and actually racing well. I'll have to see what happens but it should be better.

Tonight I'll be watching the Redskins game on TV. Yesterday I was subjected to the Ravens game. All the stereotypes of how redneck the Ravens fans are were on display. Avenge Sevenfold played the intro music to the game, purple camo graphics, oh this is what I have to look forward to on one side. On the other side it's COOCH PUT ME IN! (as witnessed by the photo down below). It's lonely being a Panthers fan here.

La-La Lazy

There's the little joy that you get when you see how much money you save on plane tickets. Buying plane tickets for a return trip to Charlotte for Thunder Road, I was able to buy tickets out of Baltimore for 79 dollars each way. Not to shabby I have to say.

/continues to pat oneself on the back

Today I woke up at 6:15 and ran a little bit after that. Then I went to my work to sign some forms. On the way there I was able to get frustrated with the metro credit card kiosk. It wouldn't take my card so I had to pay with cash. Oh the indignity of getting back coins! Argh what am I going to do with coins? At work I signed the forms and was able to get my metro card. Now I wont totally be some sort of noob using paper tickets. The rest of the day consisted of me sleeping. Waking up from a nap and thinking I slept on my wrist in the wrong spot and broke it. Then I realized I did not break it.

Yep that's the exciting part of my day. It looks like tomorrow will be more of the same. I'm going to say Monday I'll walk around the monuments. That sounds like a plan. I just got to see if it will fill in my agenda.

Of things remembered from a whiff of weather

When I woke up this morning it reminded me of another time. Well actually it reminded me of one of those early September days where the humidity was out in full force. It was in the high 60s/low 70s in the morning and it got up to the mid 80s during the day. It would be warm but it would be bearable. It reminded me of what Charlotte was like during the Labor Day weekend. It reminded me of cross country practice in September, when you know that the warm weather is in it's dying stage and that the cooler temps will soon populate the land. It was a pleasant reminder that the weather was going to change and that with all things time changes as well. And so on this pleasant day I went back to DC. How did the trip back go...?

I was driven to the airport by my brosef. It was a journey in which he got the Lexus as fast as he could go and in as many lanes as he could. As I was going through the security line one thought went through my head: why do I have to take my belt off? Is this some sort of cruel joke to make men throughout the country to hold up our pants on our own. Then going through the conniver belt my laptop had to go under the scope again. Apparently the plastic in my shoes prevented the computer from being seen. I asked "really the plastic prevents it from being seen?" I then asked some other follow up questions, then secretly thought "no I'm not being noisy, I just want to know, these questions don't mean I'm a terrorist". I think I was in the clear.

The plane ride itself was uneventful. But like all plane rides I sweat a ton, feel the pangs of motion sickness, and just wish that a Lost type plane crash would happen so I could feel some cool air on my face. After getting off the plane I had the option of waiting till 5 to get on the bus or the train. I decided to take the MARC train. It was part of the journey where I meet a Canadian college actor. He was going to Ottawa then to Prince Edward Island. He missed a flight in Baltimore and was hoping to catch one in DC at 7. We were on the train at 5 and got off at 5:35. I'm not sure if he made it to his flight, maybe he did, maybe he didn't. I ended up getting to my apartment at 6:15 and was exhausted. I was hungry and there was nothing in my apartment. That meant I had to go to the store to get something for tonight. I was not pleased about this. I ended up getting a pizza and crashing. It was fun while it lasted in Charlotte, but now I'm back.

It was a bit weird going to Charlotte back to DC. In some ways I didn't want to leave and in other aspects I feel that where I am now is home. It was weird going back to Charlotte. Am I really an out of towner now? Is it weird that I feel out of the loop? Or am I not really out of the loop? Do I need to get Skype? All these questions will have answers soon.