Total Bummer

...well that certainly is somewhat depressing news to hear at the end of day. Hearing that a former runner of mine passed away is not something that makes me happy. An individual that is still in college and young as well is something that also makes it that much more depressing.

It's moments like this when I would think about the graduating class and think who I would worry the most about when they went to college. Would they do something foolish to impress people? With the result of something that could cause them to be arrested or bring injury or worse. Would they get involved with things that could be extremely harmful and life threatening?

That's what I would worry about. I had some sort of quixotic view that when they were at least coming to practice and still in the city that they were safe. And the evil was harbored somewhere else far away. It's something like this that I would hope never happen. A far off dream. It brings back the memories of summer heat, fall leaves, and the crisp smell of running at McMullen. It's the sort of thing that you look back on and reminisce the older you get. You think of things and wonder were they as good as they were before. The former life I use to live is all that it is, former. The more that I am removed from it, the more that it never really happened. Until things like this come up, and then it all comes back.

One day

I was listening to this song about some time in July. I've listened to it a lot since then. I'm just saying that I like. Take what you want into it. I frankly don't care. -B-Mac

One day,
I'll stop stealing beer from clubs,
toilet paper, paper towels, light bulbs and even the
cigarette stained rug

One day,
I'll stop hanging in the bars
With the late-night punks and lousy women
And all those toxic hanger-ons

Did you know,
Life is easier than they claim,
When you ain't obsessed with fame,
And the world knows you'll never be tame
When gasoline soaked,
With an open zippo flame,
Livin' life is a no-rules game,
And if I ever step in line I'm to blame.

No, don't wait around for me,
I'm stickin' to the first plan,
It's workin' out for me
No, don't wait around for me,

Still a mess of countries left that I haven't see.
Old friends have grown into American bodies,
Have given up on their hobbies,
And pull me aside and say "Don't you ever change."

One day- Big D and the Kids Table

Good Night Sweet Prince

...well it's been some time. Like nearly 16 weeks to accurate. Oh what has been going on. In August I was out of shape. This is what happened. I started to get back into shape-got into shape-was really into shape-then kinda hit a funk-then kinda wasn't that focused with training-then got out of shape. Now I am trying to get back into shape.

I guess this will be the recap of the last race I've done but here are some high (or low) lights of my racing so far:

Kentlands 5k: 16:40 8th overall
Run Geek Run 8k: 27:19 11th overall
BWI Airport 4 miler: 21:14 4th overall
Boo run for your life 10k: 34:14 3rd overall
Veterans Day 10k: 34:21 30-40 something overall

Now for the current race, Footlocker Open 5k: 16:33 34th overall.

But before we get to the race recap, I'm going to have to go all CSI on this picture that is bothering me. I have two contentions: a) when was this picture taken? and b) where was this picture taken?

Here is said picture:

Time to breakdown what I know:

First I am thinking that this picture was taken in my freshman year of college and if that is the case then it has to be in the months of April to May of 2001. I know that by looking at my hair. Fall semester of freshman year I bleached my hair and then over the winter break I got it cut fairly short. Since my hair grows like crazy, and by looking at the picture that my hair is jutting out of my hair it has to be fairly long. For these reasons I am concluding that this picture is in the time frame of those two months.

But I have to dig deeper. I am starting to think that it was taken in May and may have been during exams week. I am going with this theory because I am looking at my face. Most notably my chin. If you can tell (and I really need to find some way to blow this up) it appears that there is facial hair growing on my chin. Why does this facial hair make me think that it's May? Because this was at a point where I decided in my life that not shaving during exams would be the most sensible thing to do. I kinda envisioned myself like hockey players during the playoffs and not shaving, and so that goes the thinking. But then again when I was 19 this was how much facial hair I could grow after a week or two.

Ok I've kinda figured out when this picture was taken, but where was it taken?

I don't have the full picture here, but in the picture there is a bike that is on the right. Since I am saying that the picture was taken in May of 2001, then it's not my dorm room because I didn't have a bike till Senior year of college. My friend John, in the picture, had a bike, but he kept it outside. Hmm? Also there are other clues in this picture that are making me think that this picture was not taken in John's dorm room because his dorm room had two windows in it. This picture only had one window. Another way to further conclude that is was not taken in my dorm room, at this point in the year (remember May) my roommate had moved out and I had the beds kinda parallel in the middle of the room, not up against the wall, like in the picture above. Now where could it have been taken? I am starting to remember the details and it was in....ah crap...that makes sense...bad memories coming back...yep that makes sense. It was most likely in my ex-girlfriends room. Now it makes sense. I want to go back in time and tell that young B-Mac that all that running you will do will not take away all the pain and misfortune that will happen. That moving to another city will not heal wounds. No matter how far you go and change, people will always remember you a certain way.

Crap!

Ugh!

For the race!

I woke up at 2am on Saturday convinced that I was about to vomit. I went to the bathroom and was fine, but I was sweating and not feeling great. I had a stomachache. What could have been the culprit? The chicken parm? Or the chocolate pie slice? Either way I wasn't feeling that great when I woke up.

Everything else leading up to the race was uneventful. I warmed up. And got ready on the line. It was time to go. I was feeling good. I got out and was feeling fine. I was up in the top 30 and running what I knew I could. I clicked off the first mile at 5:04 and that felt fine. I went into the next mile and while I wasn't feeling awful, I could tell that I wasn't as fresh as earlier. I'm not saying that I went out to hard, but I was fine. I hit the next mile in 5:28 and realized that a PR was not going to happen. That was pretty crushing. But here is the thing. I didn't give up. I challenged myself and passed some people (although they passed me back). I ran the last mile in 5:23 and hit the 200 in 37 seconds. Not a great time. It was my fastest time at McAlpine and in Footlocker history.

Frankly there wasn't a lot of thought going on about past races and what I've done at that course. HEY I'VE BEEN NAMED COACH OF THE YEAR THERE. I was just another somebody there. Disconnection from a former life. That's what it has become. Things had been coming up and I realized that this was it. I am interloper. A gypsy. I don't really have a true place to call home. I live in a city that I like, but how long will I be there? I can't say more than a couple years, then it will be somewhere else, and somewhere else after that. It's time. I see faces that I knew and it doesn't bring me anything. People move on. Things happen that I don't know about. People happen that I don't know about.

So my parents are probably moving to some place that is 8 miles from where we live now. It's still part of the Charlotte area, but it's a place that I don't feel any connection to. It's a realization that the time I go to Charlotte is slipping away. That's not what I was thinking when I was done and doing the cool down. It was more like, "this is the last race I've probably run in Charlotte". And fitting that it was at McAlpine. The first race I ran. The place where things came together. Where I became a genius, then an idiot, then a genius again. That's how it comes to pass. Somethings stay the same, some just go through the winds and go somewhere else.

I ended up right by my car and say Shea. We talked for about 10 minutes. That was an enjoyable way to end the race. He told me something that I had heard every year since 2004. But it looks like this year it will happen. It was fitting. It wasn't like two ships passing in the night, like it is whenever I talk to people I know in Charlotte. It was a denouement. It wasn't time to move on. I told him I was getting a hair cut. I guess I grew up.

Hold my accountable

I've lived in DC for roughly fourteen months. And while there have been some ups and downs, I've been feeling that things are in a good situation right now. I feel that after a lot of things that have happened I've kinda moved to a part of my life that is rewarding. There have been two instances that have given me confidence that this is the year:

• I was at CVS buying supplies for my classroom and there was this women at the other register and she was short a dollar to get her metro card. I then gave her a dollar that I had.
• Later that night after going to Target a women in the parking garage at my building asked me to help her bring some items to her apartment. I did. And during the course of helping her out I was able to talk to her daughter, who had just turned five. I was able to talk to the mother and daughter in a real conversation that didn't have any awkward moments.

It's at this point where I would then go TAKE THAT (INSERT NAME) I REALLY AM A GOOD PERSON. Of course that would require me to think that someone really doesn't like me and I honestly can't think of a person. Of course with this humblebrag that I inserted of good deeds, I really didn't feel that I have to do this to redeem myself, it was just something that came naturally. Because that's who I am. 

For the past two weeks I've been working at my new school that I will begin teaching tomorrow. I am still teaching Kindergarten, but my class will be a mix of pre-K 4 students and Kinder students. I've looked at the age range of my kiddos and they range from 4yrs 1mth to 5yrs 9mths. So there clearly is a wide range of maturity and level for my students. But I have to be extremely confident that the leadership team at the school gave this opportunity. It gets me thinking that I am the boss (Like a?). It's something that has been coming up many times. I've been thinking that in June I was able to get two job offers for teaching, when frankly I didn't think I did that great of a job in my first year. I know that I improved as it went on, but to be honest I wondered what I did in my interviews to get two schools to send me offers. To be honest it must be because I am that good. I don't really know what else to say. I have moments of brilliance. I've got to come away of thinking the worst and thinking with more positive thoughts. I always go back to my senior year of college, when I wrote my first essay in the Later Plays of Shakespeare class, and was worried that I turned in an F minus minus paper. It wasn't until I got the paper back and it was an A minus I think. I know that if I put my mind to it, then it can happen.

Which gets me to thinking of a lot of things, step 1 running. The greatest race I probably ever ran was Thunder Road Half in 09. Usually when people run a good race people will go around and say good job. In my case people said that, but it first began with the "uh why don't you run like that all the time". I've been thinking more about what I really want to run and race. I've decided that training and running for marathons is something that I don't really want to do. How long? I'm not sure. The last time I felt this way it was almost four years till I ran another one. Why? I just felt that the constant loop of training and getting in the miles were something that just didn't appeal to me as it once did. Also since so many people I know train for one, I always need to be that rebel and do something different. I'm going to focus on races from 5 to 10k. I'm not sure what shape I am in. I have a race this Saturday and I am hopeful that I can run under 17.  So no more marathons for a while. I guess that Vermont City was a great way to end it, the recap is still up. I thought that would be a great way to end the blog, but I didn't.

(Also Nathan S. said outside of spending times with his wife and kids, that reading the Vermont City Marathon recap was the best twenty minutes of his life. Well I'm thinking that Nathan needs to get out more often.)

With the school year starting tomorrow I have some goals that I would like to attain this year:

• Run in the morning everyday (weather allowing: if it's a monsoon then I'm not going out, if it's snowing and icy I'm not going out). I think this can work out. I'll be waking up an hour later than I did when I ran last year. 5am looks and sounds much better than 4am. And since I'm not running supper mileage it wont be that much of a drag. I felt that when I ran in the morning I got energy throughout the day. And besides I don't want to have that cloud of I have to run to carry over me throughout the day.
• I will not be at work past 5pm. That seems reasonable. My official hours are 8-4. The latest that I can stay in the building is 6, but I would rather not spend that much time in school like I did last year.
• Make sure that the clothes that I wear to school are ironed if needed. Here's a quick story: I use to wear a lot of sweaters over my buttoned up polo's last year. I did that because I was to lazy to iron my shirts and I figured that nobody was going to see the shirt so it didn't matter if they were ironed or not. For this year I'm not going to pay attention to the little things. Not ironing my shirt is one thing. Nobody else may know that my shirt isn't ironed, but I will know. It's about paying attention to all details.
• Not bringing work emotions home. One of the things that I always talk about when it comes to why I want to do this or what motivates me, is that for as long as I've been able to remember that my dad has never brought how he's felt about his job home. He works with children that have cancer, leukemia, and other not so much fun things. When I tell this to people and they give this look. It's one where they admire the job, but realize how bad it can be. I'm always like well I've never seen the bad. That is something that I want to get after. So I will try to write something positive on this blog of what went down. Of course that may not happen all that often, but I'll try to keep my self honest.

I've kinda have a lot ambition to what I'm doing at my job. Something that I haven't really had when most of the times. The feeling that if I apply myself to something then it's a big different to when I really don't care that much. I feel that where I'm teaching right now fits a lot of my personality and it's just something that makes a lot of sense for me. One thing that really has got my creative juices following is that I have to write lesson plans again, and for me I look at it like I'm writing a five minute skit and hoping that it works. There's a lot of independence that has been granted to my classroom, I really am digging the autonomy and really am looking forward to working. I tell people that my job is awesome, because I get to teach kids how to read. I've decided to attach some pictures of my classroom.

A picture of the classroom schedule that we will do tomorrow. If you can see the NC State mascot, he can travel to all the different subjects. My classroom is named after my college's mascot.

This is our word wall that was made on the fly. On the first day the students will put their names on the wall.

This is my artistic handy work. Someone made a comment that this makes the class really formal and ready. OH IT IS!

My objective board. You can see the letters on either side arching a bit. It's because I realized that I wouldn't have enough room to fit it across so I improvised.

This is what students/parents will see on our front door. You can't really see the other sign on the door. It has my name, my co-teacher's name and the wolf and university seal for NC State on it.

sad and lonely ramblings(11)

I'm gonna tell you what I really like about Mondays...their just Tuesday's. Ah is such the life. I went during the afternoon to see the Dark Knight Rises. I wasn't sure who would be in the audience, but it was mostly people like me, by themselves. I have to say the movie wasn't that bad, although I think it is the weaker of the three.

Other exciting news, oh tomorrow I enter old man territory. But harken not it is just the beginning of the end. I am excited to see that my favorite band, Gaslight Anthem, will be releasing their new album tomorrow. Coincidence? Kismet? I'm not sure. I've heard most of the album and it's pretty good. A lot of wo-ahs, songs about the songs on the radio, and looking back to things from the past. Oh how those themes hit so close to home. I'm not sure of what I'll run tomorrow, maybe a really long run, I'm not sure.

The song of the day, from the Gaslight Anthem-let's go with "The 59 Sound".

Pump Up the Valuum: Rockville Twilight 8k Recap

So here goes the tale of the Twilight 8k. But sometimes when people write a race recap it's pretty dull or what not. How many times can you write about running and say the same things over and over again? I'm not sure. Sometimes it's good to read what someone wrote about their race, but most of the time it gets kinda repetitive, so with that in mind I'm dusting off the old race recap machine and bringing everything. So that not only includes the race, but more importantly all the little nuances of the day that was July 21st. The Summer of B-Mac is slowly winding down, the last recap that I did was long, this one isn't as good as that one so keep your hopes restrained.

My alarm went off at 4:25 am. I was not pleased. I hadn't slept well at all. In fact I don't think I had slept at all that night. I was waking up this early to drive my sister to BWI. Charm City, Ball so Hard. It wasn't that long of a drive, but the fact that I had to wake up that early didn't make it all that appealing. I ended up eating a quite bit of cereal and then drove over to my sister's apartment. I called her up to let her know I was outside her place and then waited for her. A girl with frilly blond hair comes out of the apartment. OH MY GOD WHAT DID MY SISTER DO TO HER HAIR!!!??? IT LOOKS SO BAD!!!! LIKE REALLY WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT YOURSELF???!!! And then this girl smoked a cigarette and then I realized that this was one of my sister's roommate. Of course then I was thinking who is up at 5am and smoking a cig? I ended up driving my sister to the airport. No traffic. No problems.

Of course on the way back to DC it started to pour. A storm in DC, I guess the power will be out for a week (cue Pepco not fixing the power outages but still charging people for service when they didn't have power). The rain stopped raining as I got to my apartment, and I was able to get a nice four mile run in. I decided to run on 16th street because I figured that the parts of Piney Branch that I was going to run on were going to be muddy. I ended up feeling really good and scared some women when I ran by them right outside a Howard U dorm.  I got back to my apartment and ate a little bit of breakfast. Then it was time to get a little bit of studying in.

That's right I was taking a test today at 10:45. Had I really studied as hard as I could. Well not that much. But I figured that I could do a well enough job. When I was studying I got distracted. And what distracted me was this clip of The Trip where Steve Coogan did a Michael Caine impersonation.

Every time that I watch it I can't stop but enjoy it and get a chuckle out of it. SHE WAS ONLY SIXTEEN! WHEN HE GETS LOUD HE GETS VERY LOUD INDEED! Then I thought about this spoof trailer on SNL that parodied British gangster movies. That really chuckled my funny phone. It combines all the aspects from the genre and the accents where you can't understand what they are saying. And include the blues music that really makes no sense when you think about it. If I had to recommend a great British gangster movie that has flown under the radar I would say Layer Cake.

And that's what happens. I ended up getting distracted by this and didn't really get that much studying in. I ended up getting to Howard to take the test. I had forgotten to print out my admission ticket. Would they not let me take the test? How could I somehow explain that I didn't have it in a way where I kinda gave the I don't know I thought I had it expression? So when I went to the women to check in I told her I didn't have an admission ticket, she looked slightly annoyed, and after a couple minutes of not finding my name I was in ready to take the test.

And this is why I like taking the computer version of these tests. It was just like the SAT's all over again. The filling out of the answer sheet. Filling in the bubbles. My last name letters never goes down all the way and the bubbles don't look that cool. After getting further explanations about stuff that I wasted more time, I took my test. I bought a study book to get ready for the test. It said that the test would be 16 multiple choice questions and four short answer questions. So imagine my surprise when I opened up my test booklet and say that there were four short answer questions, but SEVENTY MULTIPLE CHOICE QUESTIONS. Oh...oh...this can't be good. But I quickly brushed it off. I started with the last question (is this normal-do people start at the back and work their way to the front?). Now during multiple choice questions I always get worried when I get the same letter answer in a row. WHAT FIVE B'S. OH THAT'S NOT GOOD. I haven't seen a C in a while. That's what I was thinking. I finished the test with about thirty minutes left. I thought maybe I could turn it in and then leave. Nope I had to sit there and wait. AHHHHHHHHHHHH THIS IS MY NIGHTMARE!

At 1:30 we were allowed to leave and I walked back to my apartment. I stopped at Subway for some lunch. At this point I was hungry. I just wanted my footlong meatball sub. The guy at Subway was rather old and was taking his time. Just give me ten meatballs and get them on quick. I ended up eating around 2 and then took a nap. It was hard to take a nap, but I was able to get one in. I ended up waking up around 4:45 in a groggy mode. I started to watch Batman Begins.

As I was walking back to my apartment it was spitting rain, hard enough to get the umbrella some use. It also was somewhat chilly, not that cold, but in the 60s. I was thinking if this is how the weather is going to be like when I run, it's going to be a good thing. Also I had a bunch of confidence from my time at the test. B-MAC HAS HIS MOJO BACK.

So imagine my surprise when I went to fill up my car with gas around 6:30 and it was humid. Well this isn't that great. I ended up getting to Rockville around 7:10 and parked in the metro lot. I walked to get my packet. I have to say the town of Rockville is pretty nice and the way this area was set out was really nice. This was the town square and I guess they imagined it would be something like you could see in Italy, albeit with a lot more commercialism, but still it was very nice (thinks about spending thousand of dollars to go to Europe or spending ten of dollars in Maryland). I got my packet and went back to my car to do a warm up. At this point it was still spitting rain and it was at this point where I had to think back to the last time I ran a race where it was raining. Dilworth Jubilee 2006? I think that might have been it. That race went really well so that was another positive sign. I did the warm up and passed some elite African runners who were in full sweatpants, long sleeve shirts. Well what did I do with my long sleeve TrySports shirt? Rolled it down. I did notice that the humidity was not that pleasant. It was there and it was really humid. The temperature had climbed up to the 70s. It wasn't bad, it wasn't sticky, but it was there. I ran the first two miles of the course and knew that this was a hilly section of the course.

I did my warm up and tried to go to the bathroom, but no real success. I hope this isn't like Vermont. I got my stuff ready for the bag check and was ready to go. I tried to go to the bathroom again and no luck, although with my super power skill of being able to locate any porta-johns, I was able to find one in a construction site that was about 50 feet away from where the massive lines were. I had to fight my way to get near the start line and that's when I ran into this guy I meet at the Father's Day 8k. I have to say he reminds me of Billy Shue, but not quite. So for this race recap I'll call him the Poor Man's Billy Shue (PMBS). We talked a little before the race. I was not that anxious at all like I was last year. I was worried that I was about ten people deep, but then came up with a plan to catch the people who went out fast later on in the race. I knew not to go ducking in between people to move up. I did that last year in the first mile and ran out of gas. So when the start went out we had to wait maybe five to eight seconds to pass the start line. And...it...was...a...mad...dash. I just keeping it cool and was very relaxed. Lately I have come to the realization that wearing watches is not really working for me. Maybe it's all the undue stress or the fact that I look at it all the time or rely to much on it, whatever I was getting stressed out and my goal for now on was to get as relaxed as I can. Be as calm and cool when racing. To really go out there and have a great time and not worry that much. Since the race started around 8:45 it was dark and it was raining barely.

First mile split was 5:40, so I was figuring that I ran anywhere from 5:32-35. That wasn't to bad. I was really moving on the next mile. This had a lot of hills on it. I was able to move up. I had no idea where PMBS was but knew he was way ahead of me. I fact he kinda kicked my ass in the race. The second mile I really didn't throw any surges here, I was still waiting to make a move and catch people that were dying. The second mile was around 5:34 (This is all from remembering the splits on the clock so they may not be that accurate). The the third mile went back where we ran on the first mile and then turned off into a community college parking lot. The third mile was my fastest with a 5:30 and I was hurting at this point, but I was still fighting. I saw the clock and for a second I thought it was 15 and I was like that's not so bad at all, but it was a 16, oh ok that makes more sense. The fourth mile had a lot of turns which disrupted the rhythm that I was in. Now I'm a laid back guy, almost to a fault, but when I get fired up it's usually when I run, so on this mile I was battling some guys and we were going back and forth and I passed them and was feeling good about that. I felt that I was faster than them. But then they started to hang off me. Letting me do the pace. SERIOUSLY? I was about to ask them if they wanted me to do all the work for them or were they going to man up and pass me. This lasted for some time and finally I got fed up and threw in a surge. Who went with me? NOBODY. Really where were the balls on these guys. Someone runs away from you and you let them. Fourth mile was slow it was about 5:40.

Now comes the fun part. A straight shot back to the finish. Flat. I was running with a women. I AIN'T LOSING TO A GURL. So I was picking it up and she was right with me. Oh man I can't shake her. It took me about a half mile to drop her. I then saw that I could catch the next women and two guys. Let's go for it. I caught this group and passed the women. I could see the finish line and cranked the B-Mac kick. I was going for it. The shoelaces were coming untied. The one of the guys started to kick me and he passed me. Argh! I finished under 28 minutes, but with my net time it was close to 27:54. My average split was 5:35, so I was hitting that for almost every mile. So in a way it was better than what I did a month ago, but I'm still a long way from where I need to be.

After the race I was soaked. Was it sweat? Was it rain? I'm not sure. Probably both. I felt that I ran hard, but know that I can get back and that the B-Mac Ekg running chart is no on the upswing and not on the downside. I did a cool down with PMBS and he started to talk about the Dark Knight Rises I HAVEN'T SEEN IT NO SPOILERS. We did about two miles and then parted ways. Overall it wasn't that bad and the mileage for the week was around 95 or 96 I'm not sure.

In a way I feel good and have the motivation again to run fast. Maybe it was shaving the beard. No that had to be it. Say goodbye to that bushel of a beard. The confidence is back and I have my mojo. I forgot to put this in the massive Burlington Recap, but one reason that I like to do races is all the cool places that you get to go to. I mean I get to do something that I like and I get to go to places that are cool and you see so many things.

sad and lonely ramblings(10)

Oh hey I just woke up from a nap. I'm running a race later at night. I guess it's time to get the old race recap machine geared up. Stuff later.

sad and lonely ramblings(9)

I finally broke down. After nearly sixty days, I shaved my beard. It was quite a feat. I had to trim it first and it was a process! It really was like getting a haircut with all the hair coming down. Of course since I haven't really shaved since Memorial Day, I didn't have a handy go to razor to use. So I had to use some disposable razors. I might as well have used some sharp rocks. I went through three of those razors. Now here was the glaring part when I was trimming and shaving I was able to see my face again. I was somewhat worried that I was going to look like a raccoon with half my face tanned and the other half pale. But that wasn't the case. The problem that occurred was that I developed some Gorbachev like Merlot look stain on my face, notably on the mustache and chin areas. Well that certainly doesn't look that attractive.  The only problem that I have now is that all the hair that came down is sitting in my sink. It wont go down the sink. It's a large clump of hair. It looks like Cousin It or something like that (to dated of a reference?).

For the song of the day Lagwagon "Razorburn", metaphor maybe.

sad and lonely ramblings(8)

I went to the store to do something to erase the claim that I was looking like anorexic Jesus. I went to Harris Teeter, even though their prices are $Texas, I had to go. Now before I went to the store I had taken a nap, and seeing that I could have spent about five minute getting my hair to look like something that wasn't bed head, I opted for a cap. As I was driving to the store, it was quite bright, so I put on my hipster green sunglasses. As I went into the parking garage I put my sunglasses on my cap, and being who I am I forgot all about them.

I went into the store and when you go into the store when you're hungry is a bad thing. You walk around and just stare at things and you really aren't sure what to you want. OH THAT LOOKS GOOD. I ended up getting some hummus and then realized that when I was at the front of the store saw some pita chips, so I went back and got some. It was at this point where I saw some women that I made eye contact. Now even though I have long hair and a beard I still view myself in a manner where I have short hair and am clean shaven, or that I look like a respectable human being. After making awkward eye contact and smiling I ended up not doing anything, but continued to wander aimlessly around the store. It was at this point where I encountered two other women. One attractive and her frumpy friend. I always wonder what people are doing when they shop during the day, do they not have jobs? And never think that's what they are thinking of me! So I saw these two women throughout the store and our paths crossed all the time. I didn't really get why they were looking at me weird. It wasn't until I got back to my car and saw my reflection, and my goofy sunglasses were still on my cap. Yep, that sounds about right.

Now I'm wondering do I go bold BOLD JERRY and post something on craigslist for missed connections on these encounters? Maybe? Possibly? Perhaps?

Appropriate song of the day from Screeching Weasel "Supermarket Fantasy

sad and lonely ramblings(8)

"when did you get old"

That was the first thing that I heard from the A-train. I was meeting with him at his hotel to run with him. I did mentioned during the run that I am already facing an injury to one of the two sacred body parts that you never want to get hurt.

"I can't sleep flat on my back anymore, I get back spasms."

Some things don't change. The pace was quicker than what I wanted to. Although I have to say it was good to run with another person. I can't remember the last time that I ran with someone in DC. I'm thinking maybe March. But it was nice to run with someone.

There were talks about the similarities between running and teaching. There were talks about the difference between a teaching tone and a coaching tone. All in all it was good to run with him.  As I stopped to let him go back to his hotel I stopped and watched him run back up the hill. As I was watching I thought "that a boy".

This is a shorter version than what I am thinking about writing for this day.

The song of the day comes from Swingin Utters and the song is "Next in line"

sad and lonely ramblings(7)

Over the weekend I watched one of my favorite moves, The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly. I am simply fascinated by Spaghetti Westerns. The fact that they were American Westerns, filmed in Spain, and directed by Italians is the perfect dichotomy. The great thing about this movie was it was the final movie of the Man with No Name trilogy, yet it also served as a prequel to first two movies.  I love the laconic dialogue that is presented throughout the movie. No long serving speeches, there is no back stories about the main characters, and there is a simple motivation throughout the movie: greed.

Although the movie has pegged the three characters into it's own categories, really the only character that fits it's name is that of Angel Eyes, the bad. What I really liked about the movie was the scene when Tuco is dragging Blonde throughout the desert. It's a scene that is played comical. Tuco has a pinkish umbrella that he uses and this is a Western VERY MACHO and it's simply just one of those things that goes unnoticed.

What I like about this movie is that it's a classic for it's time. If the movie was made now, it would be over the top with violence and the dialogue would be more of an outlet for whoever the director or writer was. It's a great movie that gets the job done.

The song of the day is from the band, Operation Ivy "Healthy Body Sick Mind". From the guys that kinda put punk/ska on the map. It might be one of my favorite songs and it's my favorite song from the band. Give me that ska vibe and give me that white boy reggae vocals any day.

sad and lonely ramblings(6)

I've begun studying for the plt and started up re-reading a book that I have read before, For Whom the Bell Tolls. Since I am a runner and it being the summer, that means waking up early and then getting the run out of the way. After that it's some breakfast and today it was a one hour study session. After that I was going to go to the store to get some things. I got done studying after ten and was going to make my way to the store. Now on my list of things to buy at the store was beer. And then I started to think about it...I can't buy beer this early. What type of person buys beer this early? A wino? An alcoholic? I would feel a bit weird buying beer that early. What was I going to do? Well I took a nap and then went to the store around noon. Well that two hours makes all the difference in the world. Look I'm buying this here alcohol at a reasonable hour, why the day is half over! Although there was still a weird feeling of buying beer that early.

Update: on a topic that was earlier mentioned in another post. About whether the said homeless guy was really homeless or a runner at the bridge where I stopped after four and a half miles. Oh he's totally homeless. I'm so glad I moved on without him thinking I was infringing on his turf.

The song of the day is from Jawbreaker and it's "Kiss the Bottle". We are going old school for those who are in the know.

sad and lonely ramblings(5)

I was at a water fountain early this morning in Georgetown. I was bending down getting some water and I could see my reflection. I almost didn't recognize myself. It was someone else. Or was it really me. This sort of identify confusion or more likely how appearances change popped up from time to time. Most recently it came to fruition when I was wearing this shirt that I haven't wore that much.

There was a time in 2006 when I didn't run for over three months. My IT band was flaring up and it was honestly the most painful injury that I have ever had. It was also the most frustrating injury I have ever had. It never hurt when I walked, but as soon as I ran it was painful. It was like a hammer was being pounded on the side of my knee. I eventually went to the doctor to see what was wrong with it after those months and did some physical therapy. It was some stretching and muscle strengthening and that did the trick. I was completely bugged that something so simple could so easily cure something that had plagued me for so long.

In between those months instead of running I needed to do something with myself to keep myself active. In those three months I gained about ten pounds and weighed 155 pounds. It was ten pounds of MUSCLE! RAWR! I lifted about five to six times a week, on average about an hour a day. So the time that I would have been running had been replaced. I started benching at 135 at the beginning of my workout and at the end I was starting out at 175 and finishing the regular bench at 205. I never maxed out or even tried it, but I'm betting that it would have been around 230. My workout for chest went something like this:

Regular bench 3 sets, reps 10, 8, 6

Dumbbells at the peak 45 pounds 3 sets, reps all 10 (regular bench settings)

Incline bench 3 sets, reps 10, 8, 6

Dumbbells at the peak 45 pounds 3 sets, reps all 10 (incline bench settings)

Decline bench 3 sets, reps 10, 8, 6

Dumbbells at the peak 45 pounds 3 sets, reps all 10 (decline bench settings)

After that I might do something that worked my shoulders or if I was tired then I would go home. But man I got jacked! The green shirt that wore a couple weeks ago was super tight on the biceps, my pecs (RAWR!) jutted out. That shirt and other shirts were tight in certain parts and I was able to feel at the one point of my life to feel my body changing in a different way, and I knew about it. Once I got back to running, I was still lifting, but after a while running became more important. And right now I hardly ever lift and it's a rather foreign thing. Although I'll never forget that time in my life. I thought my life without running wouldn't be the same, but I found a new thing and enjoyed it.

For the song of the day, it's from Streetlight Manifesto and it's a live version of their song "Somewhere in Between". I always like to hear live versions of songs to see if a band plays it a little bit difference than what they did on the album. And here they add a few little things to the song.

sad and lonely ramblings(4)

When I went out to run this morning, I checked the weather online to see what the conditions were like outside. The following phrase popped up "expect dry conditions for the next six hours". Well that sounds good, even though it looks particularly cloudy outside. I guess it will pass. The service elevator wasn't working, so I walked down. I got to the door and it was absolutely pouring outside. Well I don't mind running in the rain, but that comes down to the fact that I am running and then it rains. I really don't like starting a run when it's throwing down. I waited about an hour and a half and started my run.

The only really remarkable thing about this run that I did today was that I was able to crack the century mark for mileage this week. It really didn't feel all that different than any other week. I guess I'm going to look at things and think about how I want to work things out the rest of the summer break. Other than that I think it's going fairly well. I am liking running on the trails in Rock Creek. I almost made it to Maryland on the trails today.

The song of the day, in honor of Bastille Day, is from Nofx "Champs Elysees". Enjoy the French and the horns.

sad and lonely ramblings(3)

Hey! Hey! Hey! My lonely reader you're only getting the best. THE BEST JERRY. The A+ material is going on here. Let's start with my run yesterday in the afternoon. I was approaching the turnaround point. It's at this place in Rock Creek, under a bridge, near Georgetown. This place under the bridge is a big spot for a homeless person to live. I usually see a cardboard box place down on the dirt and maybe a person sleeping there. So I stop and take a little walk, when I see a guy squatting under the bridge. Well, well, well it seems like the Yeti and Sasquatch, the homeless guy at this spot actually does exist. But I wasn't really sure he was a homeless guy. He was wearing running shorts (adidas brand), a shirt, and I want to say that he had mocs on. Now I wasn't sure if he was homeless. Do homeless people wear clothes that are this nice? Or is it wrong to assume that homeless people don't wear nice clothes? I didn't know. This guy also had long hair and a beard. Now I also have long hair and a beard. And I have been confused with a homeless person here in DC. I was worried that maybe this quasi-homeless person would feel that I was infringing on his turf and do something to me. I didn't want to find out. Just as I was starting my run, it looked like he was stretching his quads. Oh this can't be good.

Anyway on my run that day, my stomach started to crap and I knew that I had to make it to the bathroom that was at one of the picnic shelters. I used all of my powers to get there in a fashionable time. I made it. Of course I put down some toilet paper on the seat to prevent myself of getting some deadly disease. Of course since I was sweating profusely and the toilet paper stuck to me. I am disgusting.

Now I want to talk about Chiptole. I'm looking at you Chiptole. How hard is it to wrap your burritos tight so that the contents don't come spilling out. Oh how your burritos are so big and delicious, but I mean I have to specifically ask for chips to prepare myself for nearly 80% of my burrito contains from spilling out and having something to dip them in. I was at Chiptole this afternoon and first of all it seemed everyone was getting burrito bowls. Well if there is no tortilla involved then you can't really call it a burrito. I was very fascinated by the mass purchases of the bowls. Is this some sort of fad? I'm not sure. Anyway I eat my burrito. I take about two bites and then my entire burrito falls apart. It's literally an uphill battle. The bread disintegrates, rice spilling all directions, and there is me in my five week beard scarfing down on a greasy sloppy mess. I probably didn't look all that attractive. There was this women who was there that had come in from yoga, she was mildy attractive. This would have been a case where I try to make it seem that I was interested in her, but my hands were covered in burrito juices, I had about twenty wrinkled napkins near me, and there was collator damage burrito contents near me. Yep that's how I rolled. I ended up leaving and walking back to my apartment.

Here is the song of the day, from the band SHARKS "the light at the end of the tunnel is hell".

First of all how can you not like a band where their name is in ALL CAPS. I KNOW I CERTAINLY APPROVE! Second of all they might be the best punk band representing the United Kingdom. Can you even name another band from the UK? I know I can't. Third this song is from their previous album which is a little raw in my opinion than what they just put out. They are a cross between The Clash and the Gaslight Anthem (OH I JUST WENT THERE).

sad and lonely ramblings(2)

Here is my two cents on the ole Jerry Sandusky and Penn State scandal. What happened was a gross misconduct by four school leaders who conspired to continue of a cover up of a serial pedophile for over a decade. What they did showed that they were more inclined to care about their public image than the well being of young boys. What also makes me extremely unhappy is that once again this is a man who was a coach, in charge of young adults, who does something so heinous that gives others who have coached or are coaching a black eye. It also further restricts what we can do and say. When I was coaching cross country I remember getting chewed out by the athletic director and principal when I informed them that I drove a runner home in my car. They said what if he claimed that you touched him. I said I didn't so why would he say that. I was a bit naive in this thinking, that if the student was upset with me could claim something to get me in trouble. 

As part of coaching and working with children I had to attend a seminar that dealt with knowing the signs of abuse, physical and sexual. There were other individuals there who were volunteering for whatever reasons at the schools. One women, who had to be in the early thirties, said this after we watched a video of a pedophile. This guy worked at a skate rink, he took pictures of kids there and did this to get close to them. A classic move by these sorts of people. This women could not believe that someone could do this. I couldn't believe that someone couldn't believe that this could happened. I didn't like attending the seminar, it was depressing and dealt with things that one should have to deal with. 

On a brighter note here is the song of the day. 

It's Stop the Future by The Epoxies. The band broke up a while ago, but they are a unique band in the realm of punk. They combined a sense of new wave, electronica, and punk. Maybe there was some sort of fad where this was popular, but they lasted a couple albums and then they broke up. Now what makes them even more unique is that they had a female lead singer. And let me tell you in the realm of punk, it's one big sausage party. A somewhat attractive woman at a punk show, it's like throwing chum in the water during shark week. It's like blood in the water. Since there aren't that many woman in punk, or go to shows for that manner when you see one she's instantly graded a few spots higher than she should be. Also it causes all the guys to take notice, which means that they frequently stare at her.

It's like when I was in college and would go to the gym to lift and work out. When a girl would walk into one of the work out rooms, all the guys heads would turn to look at her, just like the raptors do in Jurassic Park in the kitchen scene. Literally you would see guys flexing a bit more and lifting a little bit more than they should. And then there was me who would then do pull ups, do them slowly, and would do them in perfect form. I got up to twenty in a row. Nobody really noticed or cared.

Sad and lonely ramblings

This isn't going to be part of my long ongoing funemployment summer saga. But instead it will be part of my song of the day that I will release upon the masses. Of course in my day there has to be something that goes with the song that is provided. So for my first song of the day, I'm giving the world of my reader (plural) The Briggs "Back to Higher Ground".

Now these guys are in the news and I have to say, can I really like a band that has a Scientologist in it? Well seeing that I have to tread lightly on this subject, let's say...sure! The first song of the day!

Now back to my life. I took the Praxis II subject test for Elementary Content Knowledge. I think I did good. Here's the thing it was a computer based test. So I plow through the test, one hundred and twenty questions, in forty minutes. During the test there were questions that were asked that a teacher who teaches from pre-k 3 to third grade should know.  One reason why I'm not the most astute scholar was that I looked at what was going to be on the test...this morning. So going in I was already hanging my head low. I ended up having my head already hanging low. The literacy questions were first and I did my best to answer the them. Then there were the math questions. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! Questions on fractions, questions of division. I THOUGHT THERE WOULDN'T BE MATH ON THE TEST!! I immediately thought back to when I was working the Charleston Marathon Expo and got yelled at by these three old women.

I was considered a mater pacer and so there I am at the pace table, to put in further details the expo was held under a tent on a bed of straw, and these three whit women who were probably in their sixties asked me what pace the five hour pacer was going to run. Now this is where I should have said I don't know, but being fearless I decided to answer. Now I have no idea what pace five hours is. I then did some division, well a five hour marathon is a two and a half half marathon. Crap that doesn't help me. So I said a number that was in my head. It sounded good. Ten minutes.

OH THAT IS TO FAST!

THAT PACER IS GOING TO TAKE PEOPLE OUT TO FAST!

And that's how the conversation went for about five minutes. Me looking awkwardly while these women yelled out me. Then they calmed down and asked about the course. I had no idea what the course was like. IT'S FLAT. Then they asked me if I had ran it. NO.

WELL HOW DO YOU KNOW IF IT'S FLAT.

My thinking for that was that, let's see it's at Charleston A) were near the beach and B) we wont run on the bridge. Flat sounds good to me.

And that's the fun I experienced working an expo. I ended up sleeping in the second bedroom of the host families five year.

So that's what through my head as I was trying to figure out what 1 1/3 x 1 1/4 x 1 1/5 x 1 1/6. I honestly did my best. I calculated it and circled the answer to what I got that was the closest 2 1/3.

Also it should be noted that when I took the test I had to sign some waiver. Now here's the thing you have to write out the waiver. Fine I can do that. But they make you write it in cursive. WHAT IS THIS COMMUNIST RUSSIA. I was already sighing and feeling very inadequate at the moment. I was really worried that I would go over the lines that were presented to me. But I didn't. But really who writes in cursive? Nobody that's who. Then they give these waivers where you appear like some sort of moron who can't remember whether a cursive m has three lines or two.

Then presenting my ID for proof that I am who I am. I tell the guy I look different due to my beard. He then inspects it like he's a bouncer. THIS ISN'T THE CLUB. He tells me to turn to my side. I guess he wanted to check out my good side? I don't know. But that's how it went for my Praxis II test.

I ended up walking back Georgia Avenue to my apartment. I stopped at a subway for lunch. A bus driver came in and asked if anyone was driving the black lexus that was blocking the bus lane. So guy who I guess had just gotten back from the gym had. Listen bro you come in with you weird muscle shirt, shorts, and flip flops and you think you can park wherever you want! That's what I was thinking, but I didn't say. Yep that's my life.

the enchiladas made us sick, tome 3

...it seems like things couldn't be better. But at the same time I'm back to doing what I figured I would be doing. I was thinking could I be doing more than what I was currently doing. I guess it kinda hit me this afternoon as I was streaming the Teenage Bottlerocket album. Hadn't I heard this before? Well yeah. It was basically the same songs from their previous albums. I guess when you have a routine why not wash, rinse, and repeat. Some people have grand plans. I am not one of those people. I kinda have reflected on the changes that have gone through me since I have moved from Charlotte. Honestly I feel that I'm much more relaxed, much more laid back, and much more aware that there is a lifespan on certain things. I guess that leads me to something that I'm planning this year.

So I've run two marathons in the past year and I'm gonna give it a go one more time. I'm gonna see what these old bones have left in them and try one more time. I've ran two marathons and frankly they've been crappy. I've got one more chance to see what happens. After the marathon it might be some time before I run one again. My first hiatus from marathon running was over three years. If that same time table happens again, I don't really want to be that old guy trying back to reclaim some previous glory. So I'm figuring that the marathon that I'm going to run is Thunder Road back in the QC. I guess it's fitting that the circle of life is going to end where it started. Back in 2005 when I didn't have a clue of what I was doing. Now it will be seven years later. I'll be going for a fast time of sub 2:40 and honestly if I can't do that, then it's time to hang it up. Time to move on. Of course I have a tentative race schedule set up for the fall that will give me an understanding of where my fitness is.

For this month I'm going to run the Rockville Twilight 8k. I ran it last year and honestly I know going into the race this year I'll be in better shape and a better mentality. I ran 27:22 last year and sub 27 is the goal. I have to remain calm and relaxed at the beginning, where I ran a 5:05 for the first mile last year. I also know the course fairly well and have an idea of what to expect. I feel that my training will be going well, but the main goal race for this month will be the TrySports 5k on the track at Weddington High School.

What's that you ask? Don't they have 5k races in DC? Well I'm sure they do, but you know when I saw that the race got pushed back to the end of the month, I knew this was kismet telling me to race. I ran the first TrySports 5k race back in 2008 at Marvin Ridge and I gotta rep the old school jersey at this race. My goal for this race is a 15:50. And if that happens, hell I'll shave my beard off right on the spot!

After that I might run the Blue Points 5k depending on how I run on the track. I'll have to see. After that I'll have a break until I run another 5k in Maryland. The Kentlands 5k, which is a stud race and I'll have a chance to mix it up with faster runners. Then I'll be doing a half marathon, the Navy-Air Force Half Marathon. I'm going to see where my fitness is to determine what time I should run. After that I'll run the Boo Run For Your Life 10k again. Seeing that I ran a 35:05 last year and that it's a pancake course, I don't see why I can't run a PR at this course and go under 34. And then it's the race in Charlotte. I'm sure there will be a lot of expectations. I'm not really worried about where my fitness will be. I feel that I'll be fit and I'll have the mileage to get me where I'm going. But the main thing I'm worried about (and if you ask more people, they will say this is something that always holds me back) is my mental fortitude. What will by my mental state when things start to go off course in the slightest manner. It's a long race and I'm not the sharpest person to be mentally strong. It's been around mile 17 and 18 in the past two races where I've felt it. I need to make sure that I get over that mental barrier.

So that's where I'm standing to the people (person?) that reads this give me your opinion.

The enchiladas made us sick, Tome 2: Mongolia and Blowing Rock

If we do meet again, we'll smile indeed;

                                               If not, 'tis true this parting was well made.

Julius Caesar Act 5 Scene 1

...the sun was hitting my eyes. I had fallen asleep outside the tent. The remaining embers of the fire were still going, but barely doing anything worth writing about. I had no idea what time it was. My watch was somewhere. I had no idea where we were. We stopped and made camp somewhere out in the middle of nowhere. I wondered if Jommy was up. There were some early anxious thoughts about what I was going to do if he wasn't up. 

Sometimes it's best to keep things to oneself. It was the year before I graduated from college and I took a trip to a foreign country with my roommate. We went to Mongolia. Why exactly? I had heard that it was a pretty awesome country to travel to. That it resembled Montana. Well I had never been to Montana before so I'm not sure how accurate to judge that statement. I left with Jommy* to the capital and then we kinda backpacked throughout the countryside. Hitching a ride here and there. Walked countless miles on back roads, no roads, and hanging out with people who didn't communicate in English.

*(Here's the story behind the name of Jommy. One night in college I was drinking and had the bright idea that when I was going out I was going to speak in a Jamaican accent. After many beers the accent slowly morphed into where I placed a j at the beginning of every word. When I came back I started talking to my roommate about drinking and said Jome on Jommy. Never mind the fact that I didn't put a j on on, that would be plain silly. So I called him Jommy and would say Jome on Jommy. And it would have ended at that point, but he got annoyed by it, and that was my cue to continue to call him that. And eventually the name stuck).

...I woke up before the alarm went off from my cell phone. I got up, walked my dog, and then ate some breakfast. I packed up some things. Took shorts, boxers, and another pair of shoes. I took two Kashi bars for the run. I got in my car and got ready to go. I stopped for gas and got a Gatorade. I was going to Blowing Rock to run. It had been nearly 19 months. It had been to long my friend. The last time I was there was in October of 2010. That was a long time ago. Back when I was a different person. I was thinking about that time the night before. That was back before so many things had gone down. 

The drive up wasn't that bad. It was less than two hours. I got to Moses Cone and realized that I had never been here this early before. It was a little weird. The parking lot was kinda full. I ended up running a mile warm up around Bass Lake. It was warm. I was slightly bummed out. I had traveled here to get away from that. But it wasn't humid. I ended up changing out of my flats and put on my regular running shoes. I thought back to all the times that I have been up to the park. So many memories. So many thoughts crept back to my head.

...the first time I went in 2004, the guys that I drove quoted Anchorman the entire time and named the island in the middle of the lake Whore Island

...the time some guy on a horse called me a faggot

...the time some guy on a horse yelled at me and my runners for stopping when we saw his wife's horse bucking. And then yelling at us and asking us don't we know what to do when a horse does this? To which I replied, no I live in a city and drive a car.

...the time when I first ran at the park and had to walk because my calves were so tight.

...the time I ran there after I got booted from CCHS and ran the fire tower route in 73 minutes. I called Spells before I went and he was wondering if this was my suicide note, and I kinda realized it does sound like I'm going to kill myself. 

...the time my team had a huge snowball fight at the manor.

...the last time I went with CL and Kent.

It's not like Mongolia has a reputation as being a place to hang out and crash and burn. It was actually cool. Not really that much of ruins or stuff of that nature. Just a herding society. We had made camp that night and had a great time under the stars. We woke up and knew that the nearest village was a couple of miles. Well why not go there and see if they have a hostel/hotel that we could crash in. We were dirty and I really wanted to use a bathroom that had a seat. We ended up walking through the country fields, it was pretty cool. Long stretches of land that you could see forever. We talked about goofy stuff, that in all honesty the themes and language haven't changed in the years that have passed when I converse with other individuals.

We made our way into the town/village. We started to walk down the main street. The scene has been set. You had Jommy a guy from the mountains and me a goofy guy with bleached hair that looked really bad. We were walking down the street. Everyone was looking at us. No they weren't looking at us, they were staring. It was unnerving. Then all of a sudden we realized that we were surrounded. There was a circle of people around us. Welp this can't be good, I thought. I was hoping of the faintest hope that maybe somebody spoke English. Then what happened next was like something out of Raiders of the Lost Ark. A sea of people parted and there stood this guy, who was like 6'5 300 pounds. Making some sort of noise at us, well not us, me. Jommy was being held by someone in the crowd and that's when I realized I was the one this huge guy was pointing and yelling out. This might not end well. I thought back to Raiders, I just need to get my gun out and shoot the guy. Well that wasn't going to happen. So I slowly started to walk back. The guy is still yelling at me, flailing his arms, looking rather unhappy. I slowly walk back and I stop. Well actually someone stopped me. Someone was holding my arms right by the triceps. Welp this can't be good, I thought.

...I thought about the steps that I had ran so many times in the park. The same steps retraced. The same route retraced. They finally got 321 fixed into two lanes on each side. It only had taken seven or eight years. I thought about all the good times I had here. I thought about the time I ran here when I thought it was rock bottom. I remember that run. It was September 19 2009, and it was a rat shipping out on a sinking ship. I ran up the fire tower and climbed all the way up top it. As some people know I have a severe fear of heights. The fire tower is like five stories high (maybe). I don't know. I usually make it two stories where I start to freak out and look down. I can make it to the top and then go straight back down. But not this time I climbed all the way up and gave out some yell. I thought about jumping. I thought about it. I looked down and realized that it probably wouldn't be that good of an idea. I figured that I hadn't seen a single soul that entire time I ran, and that the fall probably wouldn't kill me and that I would be paralyzed and would spend the rest of my life in that state and it wouldn't be that much fun. 

For this run I did the fire tower route first. My calves were killing me within ten minutes. This was not a good sign. I ran to the fire tower. There are many memories here. RyGuyWhit crapping off the side of the mountain, my brother dropping as well. There are some cool views to see but I wasn't here for that. There are so many switchbacks it gets hard to get a rhythm. And then there is the end, its rather anti-climatic. It just kinda ends and you see the fire tower and you're like oh there it is. I walked up to it. I could see all the things carved in it. CCHS XC 07. Moments like that when you think about all the things. That you think of things back then and you realize..

I was being held. Jommy was telling me this was not good. Yep. Do you think we will be all right. Nope. Then it happened. The guy who was holding me, started to take my shirt off, then my pants, then my shoes, and then he pushed me back in the middle of the circle. There I was in my socks and boxers. Staring at some huge Mongolian guy who was wearing what looked like a diaper. He was yelling and pointing a finger at me. Yep I'm going to die. And then he started to run at me. This can't be good. There's not much you can do in a moment like that. He got me. He gave me a big bear hug. And then what seemed quite amazing he flipped me and there were my eyes looking at the ground. He had me in a bear hug and was jumping up and down. Oh this is how I will die. Then he flipped me around again and then placed me on the ground. Then he started to laugh.

...I stayed for a bit at the fire tower. I didn't want to climb. I ended going back to manor to eat my bar and get some water. I decided to travel down to Trout Lake and maybe go to the other mountain that kinda blowed but it would be worth a chance to see. I didn't know that much about this trail and got lost the last time I was here with CL. The one thing I remember about the train is that it starts out downhill. Crap you have to run back up this. And I forgot the whole trail to the lake is downhill. Double crap. Then I saw the sign to Rich Mountain. I remember the name and what it was like. Kinda lame. Not really that cool. I think I ran through cows. Not a cow field, but actual cows. And then it kinda ended up a spiral and you got some sort of weird rock platform that greeted you. I ran the trail. It wasn't that glamorous. It was what I kinda remembered. I remembered the raptor pen gate and knew I was close. I remembered the clearing cow field that kinda didn't have a trail and that I had to trust myself that I remembered running this part five years ago. I ended up running a circle at the top and then remembered that you had to take a side trail to get to the top. I hadn't seen a soul the entire time I ran. And there at the top was an old couple and their dog, a corgi. I kinda forgot that I look kinda homeless with long hair and a beard. I exchanged some pleasantries and said what up dog. The couple didn't return anything. I left. The run back was not that enjoyable. I was getting dehydrated and the sun was out. I stopped at some waterfalls and got some water and got my hat wet. I got back to the manor and ran back to Bass Lake. I passed two women on horses, without incident.

We came to realize that they had someone in the town see us walking through the countryside and decided that we were Americans and wanted to give us a scare. There was some guy who spoke English, and he relayed this information to us. Apparently this was some old ritual where they greeted visitors, but that was something from a long time ago. They wanted to treat us to a good time. And frankly we had a good time. I can't really tell you what Mongolian wine, beer, or spirits taste like because I can't remember. We ended leaving the next day. Can't say that I would forget something like that.

...I got done running. Twenty something miles or longer? I wasn't sure. I figured whatever was fine. I stretched and then changed. I drove to Woodlands BBQ. Even though it's not that great, I go here after running and it seems good. I forgot to order the sliced pork and got chopped but it still tasted good. I had some blackberry cobbler. The steam opened up the pores. The drive back was uneventful. Nothing to report. I left realizing that I may not go back to this place for another year. It wasn't some sort of quest or vision or self-realization that I have gone before in previous times, but I thought about the people I've run with on those trails. The times that I've had. Those ghost were with me. The feelings, the conversations, the experiences. They will always be there for me. Things like that never go away. 

Jommy and I lived together for my last year of college and as the year went on it became apparent that we were going to go our separate ways. I had lived with him for three years. That was pretty long and I wasn't sure what was going to happen after that. Would I ever see him again? What would he do? What would I do? Or lease to our apartment didn't end till July 31. That day we cleaned up and moved the remaining stuff out of the apartment. I really can't remember what I said to him or what he said to me. I was hoping that this wouldn't be the last time that we saw each other, but in the back of my mind I was kinda realizing that this was probably going to be the case. I remember when we were saying our good byes, he wanted to give me a hand shake and I slapped his hand and gave him a man hug. He was a little off put by it and thought it was a joke. But it wasn't a joke. He was more than some random guy I roomed with, he became one of my good friends. After that it was hard to stay in touch. I called him a few times, but we weren't the ones that did that sort of things. He ended up moving to Greensboro then to Michigan. He got married. He still lives in Michigan. I think. The last time I saw him was on July 31st 2004. I still miss my friend.

The Mongolian story was on my old blog, so if this sounds familiar it's because it is. I've ran all the trails at Moses Cone, on this trip I did not run the Maze, because it's lame and the the trail that is to the right of the manor that leads it's way back to Bass Lake, because it's longer and I didn't want to run anymore than I had to.