cheese grater hands, encompass the thoughts in my brain
i struggle to adapt to where i am, but to my surroundings
Running is something that I have been doing for so long
M A Y B E it's what I was born to do?
Welp that doesn't seem to exciting.
I've always liked fall. The crisp autumn air, with a whipping gentle cool breeze that penetrates the nostrils. It's seeing the fog lift off a lake early in the morning. It's when the leaves change color and desperately hang on to a losing battle. It's these moments where I feel so alive when I run, even when everything around me is dying. It's the little things that trigger memories to times that are far away, but you can recount dialogue like it's just happening. It's the moment when you can see your breath. It's when your standing outside at night, the sky looks so dark, and you realize that it's cold enough to wear a sweatshirt. It's moment's like this where you would rather be trapped in a time loop recounting the days. But sadly that can't happen. You cling to the past like a leave that you see, and when it starts to fall it goes slowly and gently. But when it falls it's gone forever and there's nothing you can do to get it back.
Hold on, I mean yeah how bad can it be. I mean you have a job. You have money. You're not horribly disfigured. Can you at least lighten up?
How do you say good bye? It's a rather weird thing to say, now in this day and age. Because you really aren't saying good bye, but rather good bye to face to face interaction. But isn't that something we've said good bye to long ago? It's one of those things that maybe people don't realize. It's weird to say.
Ugh! What do you call people who begin a paragraph with a question and then don't answer it?
I've never thought that certain things would happen the way they did, but you know what they did. It's like some sort of cosmic fate that caused me to do things and see what happens. But really that can't be true for everything? I'm not sure. Sometimes I feel that with long periods of inactivity my brain starts to turn to mush.
I liked Dinner for Sucker's a lot more than this. Oh here is what happened in my day "blah blah blah" or I'm not going to talk about running that much but here is a lengthy post about running.
I like to think that I am some sort of survivor. I think back to the past couple years and I am amazed at myself. But what did I really learn from these sort of things? I'm not sure. But honestly it took me leaving to stop thinking about things that I always thought about and always held me back. And yet I still think that maybe it's where I'm going. I can't think about the present. I would rather live my life in my dreams. I'm always day dreaming. Always thinking about certain things when I should be focusing on other things. Well I guess that's the way it should be. I'm not really caring so much about other things as much as I should. But that's the way it goes.
I like how you can express yourself on a blog, but can't do it to another human being.
I guess if someone was to ask me what would be the one thing that I would want to do if I could do it tomorrow. Is that I would go out to mountains or the west or the wild and live how I see fit. If I had someone to do it with that would be cool, but it's not a deal breaker. That's what I would do. I guess I figured out what I would want to do with my life. I'm not to caught up with myself. I hope to do well in races, but if not, well then I didn't. If I do well, then I did well. I don't run for others, for a cause, or any special reason. I do it because. I don't do it for the health benefits. I don't do it because I'm competitive with others, I mean I don't want to get beat, but sometimes I realize there are better runners out there than me, and they will probably beat me. I'm ok with where I am. So if I haven't written in a while it's probably because I'm out in the country living like Jeremiah Johnson
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