Purple Platty

With the longer hours working so far, I guess you can count the orientation and development as such, I've felt that one thing that is getting pushed being (with the notion that something will get left behind) is the state of my apartment. It's gone from Kent Morris clean to some sort of dishevelment. Ah a goal for the weekend! Being inundated with notebooks left and right, it can get pretty overwhelming. But the one thing that I have really been on top of is is buying a day planner, and writing down whenever I have something to do. In the past I would read an email and just forget to jot anything important down. Now I get an email, pull out my day planner and put all the necessary info. It's something to keep me sane and not start to drop down into the rabbit hole.

Today I could be happy in that I received my work laptop DUDE YOUR GETTING A DELL! and work phone. I have a blackberry, which is something that I am still working on how to figure it out. I would really use an unfrozen caveman lawyer reference right now, but I'm not sure how many people would get it/understand. But here it goes YOUR NEW TECHNOLOGY SCARES AND FRIGHTENS ME. But what I'm more pleased about is one of the shirts that I got that displays the graduation year. The class of 2024. Which when you think about it seems very far away, but it's just a number that we will eventually march towards.

One of the things that has really stood out to me, is that DC ranks 51 out of 51 states in this country. Honestly that's something that we as a nation should be embarrassed. The nations capital is a representation of our country to those throughout the world. But how can we be proud when the city where the laws and leaders work languishes behind all other states. The literacy rates in this city are so poor it's indefensible. The perpetual cycle that exist is something that really makes me want to do what I am about to be doing. When I worked with the extended day program I was dismayed that they had already given up, had a poor experience in education, that I wanted to really work at the beginning of schooling. It was something that was out of my comfort zone, but it was something that was challenging, and I can't back down from a challenge.

As I'm getting ready to the first day, I'm getting more fired up to do this. I'm getting into a routine right now. Waking up at 5am to go out and run. To make everyone in Charlotte jealous, the weather is right about perfect. Maybe it's hot but it's not humid. That's what I've been telling everyone. Today at lunch we sat outside for an hour at noon. WHAT YOU CAN DO THINGS OUTSIDE IN THE SUMMER AND NOT SWEAT. I think most everyone looked at me like I was a lunatic. They would say it's hot, and I would go well it's not that hot.

So another day done, another challenging one ahead. What lies in store. Not really sure. I get to do something fun tomorrow from what I'm told. Will I have to bring every single notebook and binder? Maybe. But what I'm glad is that I also got a satchel for my laptop, which I'm glad because now I don't have to buy one. Things on my list of what I need to buy right now: Winter coat, winter hat that's not associated with running, adult rain coat.

And before I forgot I was talking with my lead, and we are team purple. Some of the other teams have an animal that goes with their color. So I first suggested purple pandas. But that wasn't to obscure. We wanted to go for something exotic. Then it hit me: Purple Platypus. In cross we had this paper-mache platypus, that we called the PR Platty. Whenever someone got a PR they were able to hold the platty and write their times on it. It was pretty fun to see. I told this story and the animal name was gold. Gold Jerry! Awesome.

The Sun Also Rises-July Book Month

I guess in the hopes of keeping me sane and the hopes of keeping those who know me to figure out that I'm still alive. I hope to post something everyday. Well not everyday. Mainly from Monday through Friday. That sounds about right. Now I'm not 100% sure who follows me or even reads this. Maybe it's people that I know or it's people that I don't know. But in keeping with my sanity another thing that I want to maintain is that I would like to read a book a month.

For July I have chosen The Sun Also Rises. I have a few points for this book.

a) it's my favorite book

b) what type of injury does Jake have? Is it to the point where it's completely gone?

c) I'm reading it in July, only due to the fact that the running of the bulls takes place then.

d) I'm reading my mom's 1970 edition. Oh that's so old school.

e) It's my favorite book

So throughout the course of the month, while I tackle projects that will take up my time I plan to devote a small portion of my time to writing and reading from this book. I also am keeping the Rockville Twilight in my sights. I signed up for the race and hope to do well. I am meeting up with the DC roadrunners tomorrow at Roosevelt High School for a track workout and hope things go well. I'll see what happens. A good first day of work. I know that things will be tough, and I'll question why I'm doing them. But I need to find some balance in my life, and I figure that putting something in the schedule will help me out.

You should get to know your town just like I know mine

...there's a Clash song called City of the Dead that I really like. The title of the post is from that song. What I really don't like is that the song was used in the trailer for a Nic Cage movie called Bringing out the Dead. I remember one time my sister told me that Cage was bankrupt and thought, that's a terrible name for a movie. Is he suppose to be a super-hero? And she was like no he's bankrupt, he has no money. And so with that introduction some rambling rants on life so far in DC:

• One thing that just totally bugs me to death about DC, something that makes my skin crawl is the amount of trash that I see whenever I run or walk on the sidewalks. It gets to the point where it's an embarrassment. Whenever I walk by the trash I have to stop my self from picking it up. That's the one negative I have seen so far in DC, the amount of trash. We can do better than that DC!
• My garmin. Oh am I not happy with it in the city. I think it must take about 35 million minutes for it to locate the satellites. I end up waiting nearly 5 minutes for it to find it. And I know that it must know that I am waiting for it. It gets closer and closer and closer and then AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH it goes back down. I get so frustrated!
• A word to the wise to anyone from Charlotte who reads this. When exiting a DC metro and you head to the escalators make sure you walk up them. Don't just stand there and let it take you to the top. That's how they know your not from here. I'm literally sprinting up the stairs. Of course they don't make it easy. The Georgia Ave/Petworth exit that I get off is akin to Mt. Everest. I'm having to take a sherpa and oxygen tanks whenever I exit that place. A hill workout indeed.
• There is a Wendy's literally right next door to my place. When I exit my building there it's right there. I have not ate at it yet. I don't know if I will eat there. I have some good self control.
• There is also a coffee shop across the street from my place. I probably would go there a bit, but I don't drink coffee.
• There is a funeral home parlor catty corner to my place. I don't want to go to that place.
• I'm extremely glad that I choose to live in this area of DC. While yes it is getting a little fancy and will probably be the next stop on the hipster/yuppie/gentrification wave I am glad that I am living here. It would have been the easy way out to live at that place on Connecticut, but I think this neighborhood has a lot to offer me. Although from the looks of things it will soon be just like Columbia Heights. The apartment complex above the metro station looks nice. I looked it up online and realized that yes it's nice, it's rent is double what mine is. There are a lot of condo building that are similar to it going up. I just wish they started fixing the Safeway as soon as possible.
• In regard to road races I'm gonna have to seriously befriend someone that has a car for the sole purpose of having someone drive me to the races. The races that are currently on my schedule either fall on a Saturday night (Rockville Twilight) where I don't have to worry about getting there, but the rest fall on a Sunday morning and the metro wont be running that early.
• Speaking of the Rockville Twilight I looked at last years results to see where I might be able to place based on my 8k PR. 37th place. That's right. Man I gotta step up my game. I've heard that the course is hilly and that it's pretty humid. Although the after race festivities are pretty amazing.

That is all.

The paths ahead of us change constantly

Have you ever had that feeling or thought about a trip that you recently took? You reflect on it a week or two after it happened, and you think WHY THAT HAPPENED EONS AGO!!! A week ago probably at this time I was at Hickory Tavern in south Charlotte with some old high school friends, preparing to embark on a new journey to a new city with a new job. That seems like it happened decades ago. Like time doesn't matter at all. Tomorrow will come around and it will be one week that I am a resident of the District. I think in that short week has given me enough to gestate everything that has happened in my life in Charlotte. For me there are two different archs, the pre and post coaching experiences. They truly represent two different people, who while they might be the same, are two completely different people. Of course I like to think that I have changed a bit, for the better I hope, in terms of how I handled things.

* * * *

One of my favorite shows is The Wire (SPOILER ALERT, SKIP TO NEXT PARAGRAPH), and what really connected to me is what happened on the very last episode. It involves the shows main character, McNulty, pulled over on the side of the road looking out on the city of Baltimore (which actually is the main character of the show). In a montage you are shown what happens to the different characters, but what really hits me is that honestly nothing changes. The sun will come up at the start of the day, the sun will set at the end. You end the spreading of drugs on one corner, it will be pop up on another. Someone gets sober, while another turns into a junkie. What it was trying to tell us, the audience, is that things never change. Sure a person can change, but the dynamics of everything around us don't.

* * * *

The first time that I had heard about Charlotte, probably was in the summer of 88 or 89. And only becomes of the introduction of the Hornets. I never gave much thought about it, I assumed that the city was on the west coast. The only real significance that I gave was that Kurt Rambis was selected in the expansion draft. Other than that I really didn't give it much thought until my family moved there in the summer of 1996.

Like all middle class individuals when it came time for college the logical reason was to get as far away from home as possible. The staled notion that Charlotte was boring became quite frequent. Wherever I was going was going to be better than where I had been. Those years in Raleigh shaped me...to a degree. I wasn't one of those people who as soon as they left for college changed into someone else (because quite frankly those people are tools). I kinda kept the same routine that I had going for me. Some sociable interaction, bad jokes, and keeping up with my studies. I was new to a lot of things and hoped that I would make a fool of myself. What I really gained from those years in Raleigh was a new found appreciation towards my friends and the experiences that I went through. Everyone has a tough time in college? WELL MINE WAS TOUGHER. Well not really. I guess you tend to look at things in the past and idolize them the best way you see fit. I got a degree in history was extremely tempted to finish my political science degree, but decided not to do it, and was going back to Charlotte at the end of the summer with little thought on what I wanted to do. As I've mentioned before graduate school for history was the plan, get in, party in Europe, and then go back to school. Well I guess it's kismet that it didn't happen that way. *

*I have to use GRE words at least once in every paragraph

There was probably a moment after I took the GRE once and I realized that my score wasn't that great. I was driving down Providence road and realized that GOOD GOD am I going to be stuck in this town forever. I'm never going to leave this place. It was not a moment of great self clarity. It was a pity party for one. I ended up calming down. After getting the numerous rejection letters two years in a row, I decided to settle on a move to a career in teaching and getting my masters at UNC Charlotte. At the same time I was coaching.

I guess what has happened happened and theres really no way to go about saying what has already been said. I look at what happened and realized that I was way to cocky and to arrogant to think that I could be immune to something like that. I had been told the previous May that I really need to slow down, that I was very close to burning out, and that I just needed to take a break. I should have read the writing on the walls. My schedule went from summer cross practices, to cross country, to indoor track, and then outdoor track. Maybe having a week off for Christmas and two weeks after outdoor track was over. And hell I was feeling burnt out at the end, I was coaching one guy in the 4x4 and I really didn't want to be there, but I had to do it. I never knew why, but I had to do it. And what happened that summer, I went out and lengthened the optional summer runs to 6 days. I went everyday and ran sometimes twice a day with kids. In my mind this was the only way to get things done. I honestly felt that that team was the most prepared out of all of them that I coached, that the foundations to a great team were being laid in place, that somethings still needed to be improved on, but I was going to fix them. And I knew this...because? I was that confident in my abilities. A meet, a weekday meet at McAlpine, 2 mile tempo then a fast mile to finish the race. It went so well. The top 7 were at 18 to 18:25 it looked like everything was going to lead up to maybe a top 3 finish. Could I convince them to get second...

So you look for the memories. You look for answers. You doubt yourself. Did I just waste 6 years of my life? That was something that I asked myself. Was it worth it? All my hard work, is this how I am repaid? Negative thoughts. Angry thoughts. Plain crazy thoughts creep into your head. But no matter what you lie in the bed you make. I was to immature. To arrogant. I guess some mistakes you never stop paying for.

But then you think about the good times that you had. Running camp. How bad does it sound that in 2007 that the two best weeks of my life were spent living in a dorm room at UNC Asheville. That I would meet three great guys, that we would bond together like brothers, and become great friends? That I meet people that cared as much as I did about running and trying in vain to become better coaches. That I would cherish the moments that I went there. The graduation run, the last 1.5 miles going up a thousand feet. That this place would be something I look forward to every single year. That the relationships forged here meant so much to me. How much I miss it. How I wish to go back, just once.

The state Indoor meet a strange contraption of muffled announcements, starter pistols, red chested red faced runners, and recycled air. The one thing that I started out on my own. The one thing that I took great pride of creating. This wasn't a team that I inherited, but rather a team that I built. That my team was a reflection of me. Having fun and kicking butt. Loose but serious. The fights over the baton in the grass at Providence High School. Warming up on the track in the opposite direction. You knew who we were by our prescience. It was a welcomed sight. A small rag tag group of guys and girls, who ran through the warm and cold weather in the winter. Who competed in meets where there were no scores, just going for time. Who ran countless miles all for the quest for the chase to the journey for the kingdom of mileage. Did you ever notice just past the 1 mile marker at McMullen, one of the boards on the bridge on the right hand side is slightly discolored than the rest. It looks like it was replaced some time ago. You can thank the winter distance runners for that. It was a small group, a harmonized group. Everyone shared a single bond, but competed as individuals. Qualifying athletes was great. Having a state champion was great. But they did that all on their own. No workouts. Just base. That's what I always told them. It was always them not me.

The friendships and mentoring that I received during those years. I went from being someone who could barely say a couple of sentences in front of a group of my peers. To conducting meetings to 90 high school kids, parent meetings, and a pasta dinner to recognize the seniors and talk about the season. I was able to grow comfortable in small talk to everyone. I was able to know almost everyone and give almost everyone a nickname. With their success I was a mile high and with their failures I was in the lowest of lows. I was able to gain the ability to branch out on my own, to be more confident, to take control of any situation and work it to my best ability. To have that confidence. It's hard to describe. You know it when you have it. You know it from the tips of your toes to the hair on your head. It felt great. But you got there on a journey. There were so many that helped you along the way. Those who gave you a chance when you didn't think you deserved one. To those who called or asked you to see how you were doing when it got bad. You can never repay them for that, but you can go out in what you do and repay them in your actions. How you run a race. How you conduct yourself. But you needed to falter when you thought you had it all. And that leads you to the second arch.

* * * *

In those years of coaching I never really took time to race. Probably could have ran a bit more, but never really thought that much about it. Only after the break did I start to race more. And to think I wouldn't have developed the friendships if one thing didn't lead to another. And that's what really has to be thought about, right? Does it keep you up at night, wondering what would have happened if you changed one thing. Where would you be. Still doing the same thing. Maybe knowing the same people, but not in the same way. I guess that would be ok.

You start out thinking one guy is a running rival and that you can't stand this guy, until you find out he's pretty cool and you hang out more and more. And you realize that he's one of your best friends. That you find out that he's so right all the time. That he's able to tell you things that are so true about yourself. Things that you know to be true. That you are a smart person, but you make a lot of dumb decisions that make people question how smart you are. That you are in awe that he was able to go to another country, to just go over there and live his life, that it makes you jealous and inspires you. That it's the reason that you take this new job. Part of the risk and reward.

The places that you go: Tybee Island and the fun that happened that weekend. At first you really didn't want to go, but you went and are glad that you did. You had fun, which is what you needed, meet some cool people, and probably annoyed everyone by buy PBR when you all ran out of beer. The Blue Ridge Relay. You remember your mom asking you the night before "Do these people like you?" well I hope so. Not really sure what will happen you go in and have a total blast. You keep thinking to yourself while the race is going on how cool this is. That nothing can top what just happened, and then something happens and it tops it. You end up having a great time. One regret about taking the new job is that you wont be able to run Blue Ridge. It's one of those things that you are counting down the days to 2013 when you think that you might be able to do it then.

All the races that you have ran. The good and the bad. So where you ran well, some where you didn't. While the individual races were fun you really enjoyed the pacing duties that you did. A chance for you to help out others. A chance really to get a free entry, free room, and a chance for you to feel like you are a real athletes. You do it in your home city. That's what you call it now. And you help out someone you know. You push them along the final miles and you get them under the pace time. A win. You feel great for them. They did it all themselves.

You reconnect with old friends. Those that you haven't really talked to in years, become dear friends. Such sweet sorrow it is in this parting. Just when things were getting back together you have to go. Bummer. But you enjoy the now, you don't think about past grudges. Your to old for that. You think about the fun that you've had now. The adventures that you have gone on. You hold that the gesture of visit me, isn't hallow. You hope that you talk to them often. You don't want to see them just on holidays. You don't want that connect to dry up.

Of course you have to think sometimes at other aspects during this second arch. Maybe I didn't do things that well. Maybe I was a bit off during certain stretches. Quirks you could call them. The disappearances. The social awkwardness. The distance. Could things have been better if you were in a different place? Probably. It's something that you look at and can't understand why you did some of things that you did. Are you really any different than what you were when you were in high school. Sometimes yes. Sometimes no. But in the end you have to live with the decisions and your actions. It probably wasn't fair to some, but that's what you will have to live with.

* * * *

There are things that I think of in the back of my head. Pulling up to Old Bell or McMullen early morning. That smell that you get from those places. It really reminds me and gives me a feeling of those places. I can't really describe it, but I know it when I see it. The places that are so familiar to me, now have are starting to fade a bit. New places take their place. But at the same time I have to go back and think that while I'm seven hours away, I haven't really left.

I guess when I think about it this new job is something that I'm not prepared for, while at the same time I am prepared for. The lessons from coaching have prepared me to not take any shortcuts, to always find a solution, to not give up, and that everyone will get better will help me out. Those years of apprenticeship made me a more confident individual. Prepared me for things to come. At the same time the mistakes that I made will be ones that I know about and will see to avoid. I know where my faults were and what happened and will make sure that they don't happen again. And what of my post coaching life. It gave me a new appreciation on friends, the people you meet, my family. It made me realize that I can't go it alone, that there will be someone out there that will listen to me. That there were so many people that I am missing, but I will always be there.

In a way it's kinda exciting and kinda scary to be starting this, to be going out to a place where I can count the people I know on three fingers. But at the same time it's kinda how I went into college and kinda how I go into things in life. I went into college with the expectations that it will be hard but rewarding at the same time. I looked at it like a cross between Harry Potter and Raiders of the Lost Ark. That first year. Oh my! Was it fun. I got to meet a lot of cool people and got a pretty cool girlfriend...but things have a way of acting out differently than what you imagined. It's how I ran my first marathon. I just decided over the summer that I was going to run the Thunder Road marathon. Because? I wanted to. To finish. That was the goal. I really didn't know what I was doing, but assumed that you needed to run miles to do it. It was a challenge, something to see if I could do. And that's what will happen now. A chance to see if I could do it. I know that I have the support and most importantly I have the confidence in myself to do it. Sure there may be times when I might stress or freak out, but I'm grounded in what I have to do. I've been given a second chance. One in which I didn't think would happen again. And I know that I will do my best.

In a way like The Wire, things will change. I'm sure that there will be another goofy, sarcastic white guy that will run somewhat well at road races in Charlotte. There will be one that replaces me. But as I look back at my early races in Charlotte, people rarely stick around. Sure there are some old timers still running, but names change. Those running the races, winning them and running fast times are similar to those from years ago. Just as one leaves another comes. That's the way to look at it. Morbid you might say? Well that's the way it goes.

It's a two year commitment to this job. I can say off the top of my head the thing I want to do, the thing I want to get back is coaching. I really would like to teach and coach at a Southwestern 4A school. To me that's the conference to coach in Charlotte. But you know I can't look at it like that. Because if I do then I'm counting down the months, to when I can come back and that wouldn't be fair to me or anyone else. But then again I really don't know what will become of me by the end of the year or in two. Maybe I will grow to like DC? Maybe some new opportunity will arise? I don't know. But I do know that right now I'm finally feeling better. Finally at a place where I can put my head up high. When I look back at coaching I hope that the individuals that I coached looked at it as something that was a special part of their life. That is was something that they will remember for a long time. That hopefully they found it to be uplifting and something they continued to do in their life. I wasn't in the business of producing an army of runners, but rather individuals who could lead a life where they were able to respect those around them and have a good time. And when I look at what happened after that those around me were able to put up with my many moods and quirks and were able to see that if they ever need something that I will always be there for them. I left Charlotte and I am sad to do so, I never knew that I would be saying that.

Thanks to everyone in Charlotte. To many people to mention but all of you in some way helped me out, through the good and the bad. Maybe I wasn't the greatest guy or I did things that you may not have liked, but that's who I was. If I did something that upset you I probably did. If I did something that made you laugh, then I probably did. Keep on doing what each of you are doing. It was a blast.

Half awake and half a world away

...there's many things that I have been thinking about lately. Is it to late for me to write up something as a good bye to Charlotte? How challenging/rewarding is this new job going to be? I wonder how I am going to get to some of the places in DC now? Why is my neighbor banging a hammer at 3:30am? No really what does that mean? But I guess everything that could be answered will be answered, although I'm not really sure that I want to know what that banging noise was. Now to recap everything that has happened in the past couple days, including the move, and what not I think it calls for a old school running diary. But I'm gonna have to mix things up a bit and do it backwards! Just like the Seinfeld episode to India, don't go to the bathroom the entire time your there, paint your shoes black to give the appearance that your a couple inches taller...oh we ready!

Sunday: Well that's today and I've just woke up from a nap. I took a nap at 10 and napped for 90 minutes. On the agenda today: reading. I start orientation on Wednesday and I have to read a couple of short articles on literacy in DC and I have to read a book about the two individuals who founded KIPP, Work Hard, Be Nice. I read the book earlier this year, so re-reading it is giving me flashbacks. I shorta remember this and sometimes I really don't remember it. For the two articles I have to print them out to bring to the orientation. Which has lead to a problem. I brought an old Deskjet 722c with me. I have a macbook. I probably should have done this before I left, but I found out that I can't connect them at all. Looks like another trip to Columbia Heights!

As for running I decided that instead of trying to find a group to run with I really (really) wanted to run to the monuments and memorials. I looked at the map and saw that Rock Creek Park went through them, so that was my plan. Honestly it was pretty cool. I got to the Lincoln Memorial at a quarter to 7 and was able to run up the steps. I haven't been here since the summer after 8th grade so my memories weren't that fresh. I was glad there weren't any tourist there. I stopped during my run and just read what was above the memorial, then walked to the the sides and read the Gettysburg address. It was pretty cool. I then ran down the National Mall (which unfortunately is being renovated. The reflection pool totally dug up. The only bummer of the trip) and ran around the World War II memorial, and then made my way to the Washington Monument. I can see this from my apartment, but I wanted to go up close. It was something that words honestly can't describe. I don't know what else to say, but it was pretty interesting. I was able to the Capital ahead of it, and then ran a bit and saw the White House. I was pretty tempted to run around it, but at this point I was at 8.18 miles and knew that I had to run back. Honestly I found this run to be pretty cool and very inspiring. It kinda made me affirm to myself what I want to be as a person and as a runner. I really don't have any more excuses anymore and it's time to man up! First race is in less than three weeks. I'm excited and nervous at the same time.

Saturday: I ended up leaving my apartment at 10:30 to go to the Super Giant in Columbia Heights to buy some grocers. If you looked in my fridge and drawers you would have noticed that either a) a homeless person was living there or b) a 5 year old was in charge of the food. Frankly I really didn't have anything in there and needed to buy some real food. While the Safeway by my house is close, it doesn't have that great of a selection. I walked out of my place and saw all these people sitting in chairs on the sidewalk. Whaaaaattt? I didn't know what was going on. I saw a couple people dressed up in costumes, the best at which I can describe as something out of a street festival. Well they were having a street festival. The DC Caribbean Festival was having a parade that went down the street I live on. When I got back from shopping, I ended up watch the parade for 45 minutes. It's pretty hard to describe in great details. I mean you kinda need to be there to understand it. But let's see there were guys dressed up in some sort of costumes, that I don't know what they were, covered in baby powder. At the same time they were dousing the crowds with baby powder in their hands. There were semis that had a band attached to them and a gigantic sound system as well go by every couple minutes, each representing a different country. There were dancers. Singers. People covered in red paint. People covered in brown paint. Some guy dressed up as the Death. Pretty awesome and intense at the same time. Take half of the street parades that you see on Treme and the other half the double album of The Clash's Sandinista and that's what you had. I had a pretty good time.

When I got to running this morning the plan was to do a 4 mile tempo run in the middle of my run. I wanted to run on the roads to the park, but ended up getting a bit lost and as a result my warm up was about 3 miles. Nevertheless I started my tempo with the hopes of running the 4 miles at 6 minute pace. If I could do this it would give me a good clue as to where my stamina and endurance were at. I had honestly no clue where they were at, so this was a feeling out workout. I started the first mile and felt alright running a 5:57. But on the second mile I knew that I didn't feel that great and was wondering where I was going to get the strength to do two more miles. When all of a sudden this guy that I had passed going the other direction runs up to me and asks if he could continue with me. Why not! His name was Kent, he was from Maryland, and here at a conference. He really helped me out. Without him I don't think I could have ran this workout that well. The second mile again was 5:57. The third was 5:50 and we finished it strong with a 5:28. We finished right around the Kennedy Center and just pass the Watergate building. We cool downed together and he went into the zoo the run more miles and that's where we traded our good byes. He helped me out and he also taught me that I have a lot in the tank and can go to the well when I need to. This run helped me out a bit in terms of confidence.

Friday: UGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!! That's the feeling I got this morning. Oh why Oh why! I guess I'm not getting any younger. Oh no I'm not. A night out turns into a bad decision. Ugh I was feeling it. My run surely suffered as well. I was hoping to run about 90 minutes, but I knew that wasn't going to happen. I decided to run on the park towards Maryland and I'm glad I went this way. I felt really bad maybe 2 miles into the run and was saved that there was a public bathroom. Saved! I got a bit on the trail and was so shocked to see how similar it was to the trails in Blowing Rock.* The trails were dirt and very hilly! Oh lord were they hilly! I found a spot where I could do hill repeats. But what I really noticed was how weird it was to be running on this trail, where it felt like I was a hundred miles from civilization, yet I was in the heart of a busy metropolis. There was the creek next to me and the faint sound of cars. Another thing that made it similar to Blowing Rock were the horses and their poop.

*Out of all the things I missed doing while I was still in Charlotte was running at Moses Cone. Never had the time, but surely want to go back!

Thursday: Well after the only human interaction that I've had in the past couple days involved the Comcast installation guy today, I kinda figured that any opportunity I have to meet up with people I was going to take. My work had a meet and greet at an outdoor patio at a hotel in the NE part of town and I went to it. It was a great time meeting some of the people I'll be working with and some of the others that will be at different schools. You'll meet different people, that's what I found out. But that's another reason why I decided to take this position. It was a chance to get out of my comfort zone and the chance for me to have a new opportunity and challenges that lie ahead. I have to be realistic that this year is going to be tough and wear on me, but I have to start thinking more positive and I have to keep on task and remain focused. I'm going to do that when it comes to running and I'm going to do that with my job. I need to find the inner harmony that will let me achieve this, but what I really want to do is really take a chance in a new direction and no longer be that passive.

The other highlight of the night was...well...ole B-Mizzle was the top dog of the night. What I like to say is if you run hard, you got to party harder. When it comes to running, yes I enjoy it and want to do well. I get disappointed when I don't do well. But at the same time I realize that it's just running, and that no I'm not that great of a runner and that I'm not some super start. I don't take running for granted, because there are more important things to take for granted that running isn't a top priority. With that being said I'll have fun from time to time, and will not say a late night out on a weekend is 11. That's how I roll.

I did a workout this morning, the first workout in DC. But the weather made it appear that I was running in Charlotte. It was sticky humid in the morning and felt awful. During my cool down some guy said to me "pretty f--- ridiculous" I guess so. I did a fartlek workout of 3 minutes hard 1 minute easy. Can't say that this went that well. I ran the first one to fast and paid the price for it on the last three. Although the dew point had to be in the range where workouts suffer, so I'll take it for what it is. A chance for me to get back into shape.

Wednesday: I begin day 2 of having no interaction with the outside world. I assumed that nobody I knew was dead. Would that deserve a phone call? I hope not an email! Today I ended up unpacking everything. Getting things out of boxes, arranging them where I wanted them to go, breaking down the boxes, oh what fun! My brother ended up leaving at 8, so we woke up at 7:45. He was taking a train to Baltimore for a flight back to Charlotte. So for the remainder of the day I was by myself and had plenty of time to get my place up to my standard. The goal was to make it Kent Morris clean, and I think I was close to getting to that position. At 1 I was pretty much done with everything, made some lunch, and took a long nap. Really what else was I going to do? I really didn't feel like exploring the city that much. After dinner I was wondering what was I going to do? I ended up watching the NOFX DVD, watched the first four episodes and then went to bed at 10:30. Is this how people back in the 1800s lived? If so I don't want that?

For my first run in DC and my first run since Monday I was pretty pumped and I went out the gates pretty fast. I live about a half mile from Piney Branch Park which bumps into Rock Creek Park. I just explored the trails to see where they took me. I didn't really have a plan on where to go, but just wanted to see where they took me. At 5 miles I turned around and knew at some point I was going to pay the price. Oh was I dehydrated! This wasn't that great of an idea. I was still exhausted from the move yesterday and still felt a bit dead. I got back to my apartment and frantically looked to see where a cup was so I could drink out of it. I ended up finding the one after looking for a couple minutes. I was refreshed, but looking at my place I knew I had a lot of work to do.

Tuesday: The plan was to wake up do a hill workout then drive about eight hours to DC and then unpack. I woke up at 5:15 and felt like garbage. A shot of Jameson and two Samuel Adams the night before did me in. I walked my dog (for the last time till November) said good bye to my parents and decided to take a shower, eat some breakfast, and pack the remainder of what I had left. My brother woke up at 6:30 and was going to be coming with me, I wasn't to sure how much help he was going to be. I ended up hanging out with my dog for the remainder of the morning. I could tell the dog was not happy and knew that I was leaving. At 6:50 I decided that it was time to go. I said good bye to my dog (and did it without crying!) and made my journey to a new place.

The drive wasn't that bad. Hardly any traffic, but it was just a pain. It took forever to go in that van and it really was mentally wearing me down. I was thinking when I got to Richmond, ok I have to drive to the city, then I have to unpack all this crap, and then I have to return the truck. Oh great! We got to DC at 3 and go stuck in traffic. One thing that you wont see in Charlotte is a pack of skateboarders taking up an entire street. That's what happened as I was driving on 7th street. I finally made my way to my apartment complex. One thing that is neat I guess is that a Wendy's is literally right next door to my place. When I leave my front door and look down I see the Wendy's. I also can see the Washington Monument from my place. My apartment was nice and it was very clean. Also it was brand new. Now the move. Of course it had to be 100 degrees or so it seemed. Every time I looked at my watch I would say "just thirty more minutes" and then somehow it wasn't. Finally at 5:45 we were done moving. My brother doing all the heavy lifting, me bringing up what I could. Then the fun started as we had to return the uhaul van to a place in NE.

I didn't know anything about this place and neither did my brother. It wasn't close to a metro station and it was in a rough area. We returned the truck and decided to do the only thing we could do...we started walking around and looking for a cab. My brother sent one of his friends a text that read "my brother and I are walking around the hood and we are lost" after that his phone died. I guess it was a strange sight to see. One white guy in a red shirt, basketball shorts, holding a lock. And another wearing an yellow shirt. We talked to a cab driver but found out he doesn't take credit cards (really DC no cabbies take credit cards??? your better than that) found our way onto a bus, then to a metro station, and then back to my place. We showered and then meet my sister for a dinner at at place on U street. All in all an exhausting day and one that wasn't that stressful as I hoped.

Stay tuned for my thoughts about all things Charlotte running, memories, coaching, the good, and the bad.

No Matter where we go...

"if we've ran a million miles to get to this place we'll keep the pace/because I haven't found answers yet along the way to all my questions on where I need to be or what to believe/if I can lay claim to any achievement here's my secret: I'm still unsure of everything."

Latterman

Departing from Charlotte in nearly twelve hours. Internet access will be limited until Thursday. So many things to say about so many things, but I don't feel that I'm in the right spirit now to articulate them into words. I'm a loss for words to express some of the things that I want to say, and am hopeful that in the coming days that I will be able to put them down into the written words.

Can't really express how much gratitude and thanks to so many people. I'm not going to put down a laundry list of names because I'll probably forget someones name, but there is a crew of people out there who know who they are. As the winds take me to foreign places I'll never forget where I came from and where I'm going. Places may change, but not my attitude on those I've encountered along the way. Here's to those who run a bit, those who don't, and those who get entertained by what I have written the past couple months. Never knew how many people read what I wrote until I talked to them. Hopefully I've learned some lessons and will make smarter choices. I'll always be there if anyone needs a pick up or what not. But sadly the time has come for my departure. Maybe it wasn't what I was looking for, but it's a new destination and a new adventure that will shape the person that I am to become.

A Boy and his Dog

...I'm surrounded in my room with nothing but boxes, empty bookshelves, and assorted nick nacks that my room doesn't really look like a place someone lives in. Ah yes the joys of packing! I think you kinda reach a point during it where you say, screw it I'm done with boxes, TIME FOR GARBAGE BAGS! So there are a couple garbage bags worth of clothes that I have "packed". In this time of good-byes and farewell's it makes one reflective of all the things that have happened in the past. I'm sure that tomorrow I will be writing something a bit more introspective on the whole process, but for the past 15 years, aside for four years in college, I've lived in Charlotte. It's definitely has grown on me. At first I couldn't wait to leave, but now I really am sad to be leaving.

Through all the friendships and life lessons, it's hard to come to the realization that this is going to happen at 7am on Tuesday morning. I'll be in a Uhaul truck with my brother and we'll be making the seven hour drive to DC, moving my stuff into my apartment, and then decompressing the best way we know how! And through all the friendships that I have made throughout the years I think the one that I will miss the most is with my dog, Bogey.

...there was probably a moment sometime in October of 2009 when things weren't going that good for me personally. It had reached a point where every weekend was nights out till 3 am, drinking way to much, and not really knowing what I was going to do with the rest of my life. Things were reaching a very low point and honestly if I had continued in that spiral of what I was doing I don't think I would be running right now, going to DC, or even keeping the friends that I have now. At this low point when things looked bleak, when every morning was one waking up and just feeling...so ashamed about everything I had my dog with me. When I went to bed and when I woke up he was there for me.

My parents got him during Christmas of 2003 as a gift for my sister. I was still in college and didn't think to much of the dog. It wasn't a manly dog, it was a Maltese. It was dressed in bows. I don't remember to much from the winter break, but I know that I didn't interact with the dog that much. It really wasn't until Spring Break when I came home and was trying to write some term papers when the dog got attached to me. I would sit at a desk downstairs and try to write something about doctors during the Renaissance and the destruction of Agent Orange on the forest in Vietnam, but they weren't really taking. So I moved to the couch in the hope that a new location would spur some intellectual discovery, and instead I ended up with the same luck as before. But what changed was that Bogey started to look at me, started to wag his tail, and started to get impatient at me when I was at the couch. I honestly didn't know what he wanted. I didn't think he needed to go to the bathroom, and I didn't think he was hungry, so I picked him it. It was the beginning of a friendship. After I picked him up he immediately went into my lap and sat there. And then he immediately got impatient with me when I didn't pet him. He started to whine and made some sort of whipping noise. WELL FINE DOG! I thought I was just being nice and didn't realize that this created some sort of bond with him.

Then over the summer when I moved back and was some sort of hot shot with grand illusion's of taking a year off, getting into grad school, and then going to Europe the dog didn't really fit into my plan. And then something weird happened. Whenever we let him go upstairs he would go into my room, which was strange. It happened so much that my sister decided that I could take care of the dog from now on (or she just got bored from doing it). It didn't really bother me all that much. I was studying for the GRE, waking up at 10, and making plans to do all these really cool things in a couple months. Sometimes the plans that we think are going to happen don't and what we think is ruined turns into a blessing. Fast forward to the new year, I had applied to eight or nine graduate schools and got rejected by all of them. Well that's not entirely true. I got partially rejected by one, NC State. I could attend the graduate school as a post-baccalaureate student (not a grad student) for a semester, they would evaluate how I did, and then determine if I would be accepted as a full time grad student. Well I thought that was some sort of low blow and I didn't take the offer. I never told anyone this. I always wondered what would have happened if I went through with it. I don't think I would have been the person I am today if I went to school then. I think my life would have been vastly different. I think everything that I am now, who probably be the complete opposite of what it is now. I would have probably still ran, but only done the standard three miles a day approach.

With this setback things changed a bit, but the one thing that never changed was how the dog viewed me. Always waiting by the door when I would come home. Always getting on his hind legs, having a high pitch bark, wagging his tail. It's the little things like this that I'll miss. No grand announcement to let everyone know that I have returned. No familiar face to welcome me back. Sometimes on a bad day seeing the dog made everything better, and even though the dog may not have had a big brain he could tell whenever I needed a pick up. There's been times when I've come home from a race and ran quite poorly, I would pout a bit, take a shower, then sit in a chair to watch some TV and it was so reassuring, so stress relieving, to have Bogey in my lap. Maybe he was trying to cheer me up? Maybe he just wanted to see me after some time apart? I don't really know but it always cheered me up. I think back to that October, I ran the Lungstrong 15k. This was a moment when it was getting close to rock bottom. I was getting a bit out of control. I ran a race where I really didn't want to be there. I really didn't want to talk to anyone afterwards. I ran to Jetton Park and sat on a bench overlooking the lake for nearly thirty minutes. I really didn't know what I wanted to do. I thought about a lot of things at that moment. It was a pretty dark place. It got to the point where I wasn't going to do it and I went home. I got home and felt miserable about everything. Feeling of regret and letting people down filled me up. I felt for the first time that I had no joy in running, I didn't feel anything in the race, and I broke down in the shower. I ended up watching TV and Bogey was there. I put him in my lap and just drifted away to a better place. Maybe it was the healing power of the dog, but I was able to let go for a little bit. All the worries that I had, all the frustrations dissipated. I started to feel better.

...I don't know when it reached a point, but it was along the way when I started to call him, my dog. It wasn't my parents or my sisters, but my dog. I took care of him, feed him, basically owned the dog. And being with him for nearly seven years I was able to know his quirks and personality pretty well (and I think the same for him to me). I knew that he was a tough dog to anyone he saw walking, but if they came close to him he would either back off or bite them. And there lied the problem. As a dog that looks like a prissy cute dog people would want to pet him, but I would have to tell them "uh you don't want to pet him, he bites". I couldn't take him out when another dog was outside because he would flip out, start getting hysterical, and any chance of going to the bathroom was out the window. Another quirk was that he would have something that I called "nightmares" when he would sleep. Little yip-yip-yip when he was sleeping. Or that he couldn't jump up on the chairs or sofa in our TV room, that he had to be picked up. Maybe that's why he got called the Prince, but he was a spoiled dog and acted that way.

When I got the job in DC I kinda realized that looking at the hours that it was going to be hard to maintain a dog. It was one of the things that I really tried to find someway to work around. But I also knew that I had to be fair to Bogey. I couldn't leave him by himself for nearly nine hours everyday. It was just something that wouldn't be right for him. He would bark constantly and I think he would start to get depressed. Of course with the decision not to take him, I haven't really thought how hard it would be on me. One of the few constants in my life for the past seven years, someone that has slept in my bed for nearly six years. It's gotten pretty hard for me to accept that I'll be leaving him and maybe not seeing him for a while. There was one point a week ago that I started to get a panic attack right before I went to sleep. I didn't think my sister or parents would know what to do with Bogey. I had him on a strict regime of when he woke up, ate, went to the bathroom, and when he walked. It was a routine that I knew and didn't think anyone else could do. I started to freak out and thought about staying in Charlotte. But I kinda realized the next morning that this is for the best.

...it was sometime today or maybe yesterday but he knew. He knew that something that was up. He knew that I was doing something big. I could see it when I walked around. He looked at me with a look of sadness, his tail was tucked in between his legs. I think he knows that something big is about to happen. And did I really think that this would happen in my life? That a dog would be my best friend? I didn't really plan on it. But in someways he's been there for me through the good times and the bad times. When things were going good for me and maybe I was a bit overconfident he was there. And when times hit a low level, when I didn't think there were that many people who would want to talk to me or even be associated with me, he was there. After going my separate ways in coaching I went out, which became a common theme, my parents weren't home and I was planning on going full tilt. I left my dogs at home. I put Bogey in the bathroom, locked the place up, and went out for the night. Through all the drinking that night and then waking up the next morning, I had a deep sense of regret. I felt so bad for leaving him (and another little dog) in that room. I got home and let them out, and the feeling that I got made me feel better. It was the weekend when I stopped coaching and the look on that dogs face that morning, when he shouldn't have been that happy at me, but he was really hit me. I knew that I had someone with me for the rest of my life.

When I go to DC I'm going to be missing a lot of people, friends and family. It's going to be a new adjustment, new places to run, new places to get use to. It will be weird going to bed and not having my dog jump into it, walking up and curling up next to me. It's just something that has to be, but not something that I want to see happen. I am going to miss my friend, Bogey.

Summer Track Series Finale

...I arrived at the Myers Park High School track sometime around 6 that night. This was not going to be the usual summer track series that I had known in years past. Gone were the days when you scribbled your name on a waver, received two carnival raffle tickets, and paid two dollars. Now I had to fill out an official race form, pay eight dollars, and receive a bib. No more of the laissez-faire notion that had been the custom in years past. Whether anyone cares for my opinion on this matter or not, I am a bit of a traditionalist and would rather they keep the loose settings that defined the series in years past. But like all things change was for the better. But one thing that was a constant was that the same starter, Tom, for all the high school races I coached and some of the road races I ran would be the official starter. I'm already feeling a good vibe.

The Myers Park track has some special memories for me. Not anything that I have done in regard to running. More in the vain of the athletes that I coached. There's one photo that I have been trying to find online, but for the life of me I can't find. It was taken with 150 meters to go in the 3200 at the Queen City Relays. It was where Jonathan Sunde was finishing and he was passing another athlete that I entered in that race, Dean. The picture was on the

front page of NCRunners.com, and it looked like I had placed the top two athletes in the race. Well not really. Jonathan was lapping Dean. But hardly anyone knew it and thought I was a really good coach. Jonathan ended up running a 9:35 for the win. It really was a great race. He had a battle with Ross Hughes of Myers for the first seven laps, and then he brought the hammer down. I will take that win over many other ones that I coached. It was Jonathan at his peak and he really showed everyone at a big time meet he was for real. I was proud of him for how he ran.

There were other memories from this track as well. We usually had our polar bear meets (for those who don't know what they are. Indoor track meets held outdoors are called polar bear meets) at the track. There's another picture that I can't find, I think I deleted it, but it was a picture of the team I enjoyed coaching the most. The 2006-07 Indoor Track team. It had the right size, the right people, and the right chemistry. We were all standing together looking goofy. Some smiling. Others giving each other hugs. It was classic. After those meets I would drive over to the Soda Shop at the Park Road Shopping Center and eat with some of the kids. It was a simpler time. Before I got a bit jaded...

...signing up for the track series I knew that there would be some big guns coming (I hoped). I wasn't sure what I really was going to do. I knew the mile, the 5k was another story. I wasn't that confident in my fitness and I wasn't sure if I was going to flame out or not during the mile. Was this going to be another Twilight? I really didn't know. I was feeling the doubt when I started to sit down and address the situation before me. I had heard the mile was moved to 6:40 and that I probably should warm up at 6:10. But still I wasn't that sure what I was going to do. I was downplaying my ability a bit. Under 5 was the goal. Maybe a 4:50 if I'm feeling good. My legs felt alright. But what about my heart?

...after running camp I decided one day over the summer, maybe every Wednesday, we would do a Roy Benson day. Coach Benson was in charge of the camp we went to, and the joke was that we would dress like he did during the camp. The ensemble was a collared shirt tucked into your running shorts. It was quite a sight to see at McAlpine when four or five guys did this. Wearing polos or their school uniform. I was wearing my Nike Dry Fit collared shirt that I got from running camp and was wearing my grunge shorts. I figured right before the warm up, what the hell let's do it. Off went my shorts and I tucked in my shirt to my running shorts. I hiked up my wool socks and off I went in the opposite

direction on the track for my warm up.*

*Warming up in the opposite direction on the track is a Catholic Cross Country/Track tradition unlike any other.

I wasn't sure who was going to be in the field. I knew most were going to be doing

the 5k, but when I saw Jonathan on the track it looked like he was good to go. I talked to him briefly and knew that he wanted to run something, that he was going to stay behind whoever was running 70s. Well that doesn't look like it will be me. After doing some strides and drills I was feeling better about my chances. I donned my old school Catholic XC jersey and got to the line. I was pretty nervous before the start. The picture at the right showed this energy. I was blowing into my hands, and right after this picture was taken I spit out something wicked onto the ground. I was kinda amped up to go. Tom started the race...and I took it from the start. I got out to what I thought was a good position and lead. For about 100 meters and then this guy in a Kenya jersey, David, came up to me. I could feel that he was faster and let him go. I think we went through the 400 in 69 or 70 I wasn't sure. I let Jonathan, Ben D, and Mike M go ahead of me, but I was still running what I thought was a pretty good time. I think we hit the 800 at 2:19. It was at this point where Jonathan and David were to far in front of me. I made a move on Ben and went by him, and was running with Mike for the rest of the time. When we got past the third lap I didn't the go button immediately, I knew that whatever kick I had was not going to be that po-

werful. But a 100 meters into the lap I decided to go. Why? That's how I run. Was it smart? Not really. I put a gap on Mike for a bit, but in the homestretch I tied up and he went by me. It's a terrible feeling when you know your body is giving up, yet mentally you aren't. I ended up running a 4:40.91 which really shocked me. I was only three seconds off my PR. I hadn't done any real proper speed workouts in a month, and had done six miles of hills in the morning. I had the same feeling after every mile race where I felt like crap for a couple minutes after the race, but a strange feeling came afterwards. I didn't feel that bad at all. My legs felt great. Well why not run the 5k!

With the 5k I really had no intention of really doing any damage. This was going to be a painful reminder that I was out of shape. I was going to have to suck up whatever pride I had and go out there and just run something that would make me proud. No matter how slow or fast I ran. I was glad that after talking to the big dogs nobody wanted to push it that much. We went through the first 400 in 82 and I just couldn't take that. I was content on running 80s, but that was to damn slow. And so the impatience set in. I was planning on waiting for a mile before deciding to see how I felt. But after that lap I figured, no free rides. I shot to the front and went for it. I'm not content on letting the race come to me, I'm more of the opinion dictating how I'm going to run. Has that hurt me in past races? Sure. But I don't feel bad with how I ran, and I don't think I want to run any other way. I ended up running a 17:07 for the 5k. My splits were consistent with 83's taking the majority of them. I felt my stride was, I didn't think I was running with poor form. It was something to remind me that there are going to be ups and downs, but if I find focus and motivation then I can be a pretty good runner...it's just to bad that it's not going to happen in Charlotte. Like a lot of other things...

After the 5k I cooled down with some of the guys and ran for 14 minutes. It didn't feel that bad at all. I think all the core (proper) I'm doing is paying off. The strength exercises that I'm doing as well are helping out with my form. And the fact that I am paying attention to nutrition and how I am running are working out. I felt pretty good on the cool down and knew that I am slowly reaching back to where I was at the beginning of March. I'm not in great shape, but I'm getting close to it.

After cooling down I spotted Allen drinking what looked like Sprite. Upon closer inspection it was something that was not Sprite but it's older brother. Is this a dry campus? Not anymore! Seriously how can I turn down free drinks?! IF YOU INSIST. This was something that I was looking for when I first started doing the summer track series. Back in 2005, 06, 07 I didn't really know anybody in the Charlotte running community. I knew a couple of runners, Stan, Chris, and Cody, but hardly ever talked to them. I would see them at races (or with Stan at McMullen) not really talk to them, finish the race, and then go home. But I would see them at the track series hanging out with a bunch of people having a good time, and it made me a bit jealous that I was missing out. I don't know why I didn't just walk over there and introduce myself and talk to them, maybe I didn't think I was that good of a runner to hang out with them, maybe I didn't want to impose, I really don't know. But I would do the track races and then leave. Now as I was leaving I was able to experience it. It was something that I would remember more often than any race where I PR'd or any workout where I ran well.

"All these days they’ve run past

Life’s going by so fast

All the best things that I have

No one can take them from me

Here’s to the memories"

The Bouncing Souls

The party's over..

This is a somewhat longer* post from what I did on Tuesday June 14. It included a run at the Harris Y and a Summer Track meet race. Going into the week I wasn't that sure if I really wanted to run a track race or just observe. Honestly since the Twilight 5k disaster I had been scared to run anything fast, whether in a race or in a workout. I had ran one race, albeit it was a trail race, where there was little expectations and hardly anyone that I knew who was going to be running in it. For the past couple weeks I have been getting my running in, doing some long runs, some medium distance runs, but barely any real speed work. I did 7 400s one day, but other than that not much. My confidence was shaken and my desire was in question. I wasn't sure that I wanted to really run fast and wasn't sure that I could do it again. It wasn't so much anxiety, but rather a worry. Can I do it again? Can I put myself through the ringer again? Do I really want to continue doing this again?

*By my standards

...it was a day back in the summer of 2004. I kinda had a plan for my life after graduating from college. It was something that sounded easy. I was going to take a year off. Apply to graduate school, and once I got in backpack throughout Europe. That was the plan. But for the fall I needed something to do. Go back to Harris Teeter? Umm...no. My brother was going to be entering ninth grade and was joining the cross country team. My sister was also on the team. Over the summer I would drive him over to practice, drop him off, and then pick him back up. After awhile it got kinda ridiculous to drive out to McAlpine, drive back home, and then drive back to McAlpine. So one day I dropped my brother off and then went and ran on my own. I just stayed by myself and ran enough. It must have made some impression because my old coach, Coach Airheart, asked me if I wanted to help volunteer with the team. My first thought was, wait a minute I guess she didn't remember me when I was in high school!

One day at practice we were going to run in the neighborhood that was at the top of the dirt trail right before the 1.5 mile mark at McMullen. Back in 1999 McMullen didn't even make it to the first bridge under 485, so when we ran we had to run on the roads. I was running with my friend Dustin and two freshmen, Bobby and Paul. We got onto the roads and we saw the neighborhood kids playing a game of football. Well that sounds better than running! So the four of us played football while the team ran, and when the team came back and saw us playing, I'm sure I felt something, but it wasn't shame. After a while Dustin and I realized we needed to go back, but the two freshmen decided to stay. We'll tell Airheart that you guys got a cramp or something. We got back to the parking lot and Dustin told her that Bobby and Paul were playing football. She chewed those guys out and when they found us they were pretty hurt. Dustin told them that's what happens when your a freshman!

That's what type of athlete/runner I was in high school. My 5k PR was 20:45, my 1600 PR was 5:30. I wasn't that fast. I didn't run during the summer. I hardly ran during practice. And here I was going to volunteer to coach with the JV boys. I didn't know really anything when it came to coaching. Terms like fartlek, tempo, or intervals might have well been a foreign language to me. The first time I ran with the Catholic cross country team in this role as volunteer coach was on a Tuesday. That much I know. Because it was a practice at the Harris Y.

I remember sitting in my car. I think I arrived a bit early (Which I always do). There was a kid in the car that had pulled up next to me in a white Jeep. He was looking in his mirror to see if his hair was alright, if he had any pimples, and to see if his earring was rightly in place. I thought this guy is trying to look cool when he is really not. I had no idea what I was going to run that morning. I had heard hills, but had no idea what was going to happen. We did a mile warm up around the outdoor track, stretched, and then went into the neighborhood behind the Y to run the loop.

I had been told it was hilly and that it would be tough. I didn't think the pace was that hard, but I really didn't want to get dropped. So I stayed out in front and before I knew it we were done. The kid from the Jeep, who I later found out to be Ryan Whitley, asked me if I was tired. I told him no. Well we weren't running it that fast, was how he retorted to me. Well are we going to do another loop, I asked. No I'm tired, he said matter of fact and rather confused me because it made no sense (I soon understood that this was my introduction to Whitley logic). And then something happened that made me understand that I would probably start to enjoy coaching this team. Ryan started to walk away from me. I thought, did I do something wrong to anger him? We were on the roads in a residential area, houses all around us. The Y was in front of us, but there was a fence and woods. Ryan walked towards the fence, behind some bushes and started to use nature as it was intended. No he didn't hid behind a tree, he just stepped out and was urinating. I thought this was rather strange, but since nobody else seemed to be bothered or shocked by this, I assumed this was normal. That was how I was introduced to the Catholic XC team.

...I was sitting in my car on Tuesday. The weather was absolutely gorgeous. When I would be coaching and we would have weather like this over the summer I would tell the kids, better take advantage of this while we can. Which translated from coach talk: were going to be running a lot today. One thing that has been a constant at the Harris Y over the summer was the summer camp. There's always a gang of little kids running around the perimeter of the track, you kinda have to pay attention to make sure that you don't run anyone over. I did a mile warm up and was surprised how fast I ran it, somewhere around 7:05. I wasn't really expecting to run fast today, I was going to the track meet and I was going to run the mile for sure. Maybe the 5k. After stretching I made my way to the journey that awaited me.

The Harris Y traditional loop starts on Sharon Hills road, then you turn right onto Rosemary, then it's a quick right onto Sharon Acres and almost immediately you turn left onto Prince George. Then it's a right onto Whistlestop, then a left back onto Sharon Acres, and then a right onto Yellowood. Starting and stopping at the Y makes it about 3 miles. It's pretty hilly but it does have it's downhills and flat parts. If you have never run it before the first hill is the one that intimidates you. I would always tell kids who came out for the first time, well that first hill is pretty tough. The hill ended up being a thing of lore, it was either Rosemary or simple put Rosie. It was just steep. It was somewhat long too. But after that every other hill wasn't that bad. I think the steep incline up Whistlestop are just as bad, but once you get through that mental barrier at the first hill, everything after that is pretty easy.

As I was running the route I had a sense of calm, a sense of relief come over me. I wasn't that concerned with anything and started to think about all the memories that I had from the place...

-like that time I set up neon yellow soccer cones throughout the course for a fartlek run and I saw some woman later on in my run picking up trash. I spotted my soccer cones in her trash bag, and I had to politely ask her for my cones back.

-the time J-Fad fell down Rosemary. Picturing her tumbling down the hill gave me a guilty laugh.

-"Jeff St. John lives on St. John lane!"

-the time that Mark and Jake were fed up with Sanders talking down to them about how slow they were running over the summer, and finally busted it out right at Rosemary. I was running with Mark's brother when I saw the lead group go, and it took me until Yellowood to catch them. I think we ran the first 2.5 miles in 14 minutes, but I think everything I tell the story the time keeps dropping

-the constant mention of the "meth house" on Yellowood

-whenever we would stop after one loop we would see who had sweated the most during the run

-the porta-john that was behind the fence that saved me one or two times

-the Olde Georgetown swimming pool that taunted us during those warm summer days

-the groups that would come out for the run. I think the summer of 2008 was the year where there were the biggest numbers. Maybe like 20-30 kids out for voluntary runs during the summer. Then again I think 2009 wasn't that bad either.

And like all good things they have to come to an end. What comes up must go down. When I think about things I have to include them all. Because even if the bad things were unpleasant they had some impact on who I was and how it shaped me as a person. In some ways I was running with ghost on that run. Whether it was Drew, John S, Dean, Gilligan, Whitley, Mark, Jake, Jamie, my brother they were all there. It was a loop that I hadn't done for almost a year, but it felt familiar. In fact we only ran there once a week for about two months, so it really was only eight times a year that we were there, but it always felt like I was reconnecting with an old friend. The last time I ran it was July of last year and it poured a cold rain during the run. It reminded me of another time that I ran the loop where it did the same exact thing. The memories start to run together at certain points. They all feel the same.

I ended up doing another loop. This time backwards and I added up with what I called the Bamboo forest part of the loop. I ended my run with a cool down to give myself a total of a little bit over 8 miles. I had done the hill loops at an average of 6:40. My legs didn't feel trashed and I was going to go out there for the track race and run whatever I could do. Throughout the course of the day I took a nap (I'm in my off period till I have to work so I'm going to take advantage of it) and visualized the race that was about to unfold. It was the mile. There were variations of the race. Some good. Some bad. The good outweighed the bad. I then got that anxious feeling in my stomach. Tough to breathe but something in the fire of my belly. I was going to go out and see what would happen. I didn't expect much but I figured sub 5 minutes would be something to aim for. I wondered who was going to be out there and was ready to roll. I always like summer track. It was simple, cheap, and somewhat a DIY event that harkened to my punk roots. I always saw the same people there running it and the same people participating in it. I had done well there and I had done poorly there. This might be my last race in Charlotte for a while I wanted to go out on my terms...

Part II Summer Track Part 2010 Redux tomorrow night

For those wondering if you want to run the route I described behind the Harris Y, there are painted arrows at the streets I mentioned. As well there are arrows painted on the road for the duathlon that is held at the Harris Y in August. It can be pretty confusing. The Splash and Dash as it's called does not include the Rosemary hill and I think is the hill loop backwards. The loop that we, the Catholic team, would do was based on the Krueger Jump into Fall 5k that was held in late August or right before school started. I think the Splash and Dash replaced it. I never ran the Krueger race, it didn't look like a lot of fun. I do know that Chris Lamperski won it in 2005 or 2006 with a time in the low 17s, but don't quote me on it.