June 2nd

...today was going to be an overly ambitious start to getting into some tip top shape. It was going to be a long run, with a four mile marathon pace tempo run thrown into the mix. I was thinking of running eleven miles, then doing the four mile temp, and then jogging the last two miles home. That was the plan. I was hoping for a tempo pace around 5:50 to 6 minutes. And while that didn't materialize I can at least be confident in where my current fitness level is, and where I need to go to achieve what I want to accomplish.

I'll start with the run with began a little past seven in the morning. I was debating whether to drop my shirt off at some rock cliff around a mile in, but decided not to. I then got to two miles and knew that it would be better served to run without a shirt, for the first time in recent memory. I also stopped to tie my shoelace, not because it was untied (which I have to say is starting to become a problem with my shoe. It's happened twice this week. Although to be fair that's better than the last pair, that got untied nearly every run.), but rather because it was off a bit. I then continued with my run. I wasn't feeling that spry and was debating about pulling the plug a bit and just running to some distance and turning around. I felt that way until mile five and then I started to relax. I was close to sub seven or right around that for the miles. I ran new parts of Rock Creek in Maryland, which reminded me of McMullen in some areas. I turned around at 8.5 and was exactly at an hour. I stopped to get some water at mile nine, and then hit my temp a mile and a half later.

I started the first tenth of a mile running uphill and then the course goes back downhill (very convenient). I was trying to shake off the first part of that run and was able to get it down, but not low enough for me. I hit the first mile at 6:14. I continued to press on. I really wasn't in any danger of fading, but was having a problem dropping the times. I hit the second mile at 6:13. I then eased into the run and the third mile went by with a better effort, with a 6:06. Then I hit the fourth mile and it honestly didn't feel that I was working that hard, even though the pace dipped quite a bit. I ran the last mile in 5:48 to give my tempo time of 24:21. Not really what I was expecting, but a promising start, a baseline to see where I am. I ran to get some water and jogged back to my apartment building. I did four strides in the alley and had to fight with the wind on two of them.

I ended up running the seventeen miles in 1:56:23. The first eleven were at 7:02 pace. Not that shabby. My weekly mileage was 81.75. That's probably the first time I've ran eighty this year.

Good Mourning

...sometimes when I write sometimes I figure that people take what I write extremely seriously. That what I am writing is what I am thinking, and that any actions that I write about are in fact things that will happen or I want to happen. There have been moments that when I write morbid and dark thoughts and I want people to think I want those things to happen to me. That when I write these things that deep down I am hoping for some disease or death to take hold of me. That this would be a release from the living. When in reality it's not like that at all. In fact I really don't care that much.

There's a song from the Alkaline Trio where the lyrics are something that like this:
 "Step 1 slit my throat/ Step 2 play in my blood/ Step 3 cover me in dirty sheets and go laughing down the way"

I would write about this lyric and of it's ilk, in the hope that people would look at me like I was dark and maybe disturbed. But in fact I am actually lame and not really that into whatever I am writing. It's one of those things that I want people to think OH I THINK BRIAN MIGHT BE IN TROUBLE. But that's not the case, and really nobody really responds to anything like that. So if I every did go down the rabbit hole, I don't think people would really care or that they would stop and ask for help.

Run: 9.25 miles @ McMullen Greenway

My stomach felt nausea this morning. I ate some enchiladas last night and this morning the combination of cheese and the chicken and whatever else was in them wrecked havoc on my stomach. I ended up running at the greenway probably for the last time (in my life??????) for a while. It wasn't that cold out and it threatened to rain, but it wasn't that bad. I head up to DC tomorrow.

Total Bummer

...well that certainly is somewhat depressing news to hear at the end of day. Hearing that a former runner of mine passed away is not something that makes me happy. An individual that is still in college and young as well is something that also makes it that much more depressing.

It's moments like this when I would think about the graduating class and think who I would worry the most about when they went to college. Would they do something foolish to impress people? With the result of something that could cause them to be arrested or bring injury or worse. Would they get involved with things that could be extremely harmful and life threatening?

That's what I would worry about. I had some sort of quixotic view that when they were at least coming to practice and still in the city that they were safe. And the evil was harbored somewhere else far away. It's something like this that I would hope never happen. A far off dream. It brings back the memories of summer heat, fall leaves, and the crisp smell of running at McMullen. It's the sort of thing that you look back on and reminisce the older you get. You think of things and wonder were they as good as they were before. The former life I use to live is all that it is, former. The more that I am removed from it, the more that it never really happened. Until things like this come up, and then it all comes back.

My running week 8/7-13

In a way to be like other running blogs here will be a rundown of boring stuff that really doesn't truly matter to most people, but in a way is documented proof that when it comes to running I am that much better than most. If you want to read about scientific junk, mileage appropriateness, or stuff of that nature than this isn't it.

But before we go into that I'm going to install one thing in this post every week called things I don't like. Today it's the NFL Network and more specifically Comcast. I decided to splurge a bit and order the NFL Network for my cable. I figure why not spend about 10 dollars more a month for that and some other channels. I figure the easiest way to do it would be over the Internet. I go to comcast to order it and find that whenever I click on the NFL Network link, that they advertise, I find that I can't order it in my area. Oh really? Then when I navigated the site a bit I was able to try and order it but found out that I am not the primary account holder, which isn't true since I pay the bill. That means now I'm going to have to call Comcast to order the extra sports programming package BUT MY GOAL WAS TO LIMIT HUMAN CONTACT.

Sunday: Ran 12 miles. This day marked when my parents checked out my lungs to see how it looked when I breathed. My dad took a stethoscope and immediately went OH THIS IS NOT GOOD. NOT GOOD AT ALL. Apparently there was massive amounts of fluid in my lung. I remember this run for the amount of sweat I accumulated.

Monday: Ran 8 miles. Was able to get a car and ran at McMullen. At 4 miles I ran into Thomas, Michelle, and Carolyn. I RAN WITH PEOPLE!

Tuesday: Ran 7 miles. On the Shamrock 4 mile course. It went ok. Although at the end I was hurting stomach wise and sprinted in the house to the bathroom!

Wednesday: Ran 7.5 miles. Last day in Charlotte. It was surprisingly without humidity.

Thursday: Ran 8 miles. First run back in DC. Felt nice and cool.

Friday: Ran 8 miles. Uh nothing really comes to my mind about this run.

Saturday: Ran 10 miles. A surprisingly lack of people out on the trails today. I saw a family of deer with antlers on the trail. I really was wondering what I was going to do if they charged me. Can't run into the creek. Can't run into the trees. I was puzzled. But they didn't charge me.

Total 60.5 miles or so

Sharon Lakes Memories

Oh today wasn't so bad. I feel a little bit better, but that's not that reassuring. I still have some congestion in my chest. I have to sleep on my right side to keep the pressure off my chest. At times I have a wicked cough that produces mucus that looks like carmel. Other than that I feel great!

Today was great day of not doing anything that productive. I ran at McMullen for the first time in six weeks. One thing I noticed, other than the damage that the storms had done to it, was how high some of the vegetation was near the Johnston Road exit. I strangely felt like Will Smith in I am legend, but there weren't any vampires. One negative of being sick and running in this humidity is how much I sweat when I am running. I am completely drenched when I go out for a run. At the turn around point I was able to run into some fellow CRC-ers and ran an easy comfy pace back.

Later in the day I made my way back to Sharon Lakes. I hadn't been there in over two years. It was somewhat strange seeing it in the day time, since I only went over there at night. There are many memories of that place: the B-Mac worm, New Year's Eve 2008, and all the great times. It seems that in a way those times seem fresh and other times they seem so far away. It really is strange to think that just going back to a place can bring back all those memories. I guess it's from another time, but it felt good.

Other than the medicine's I'm pumping into my system I hope to be feeling better by the end of the week, but I'm making sure I hydrate and get my sleep, so it's off to bed for me!

The party's over..

This is a somewhat longer* post from what I did on Tuesday June 14. It included a run at the Harris Y and a Summer Track meet race. Going into the week I wasn't that sure if I really wanted to run a track race or just observe. Honestly since the Twilight 5k disaster I had been scared to run anything fast, whether in a race or in a workout. I had ran one race, albeit it was a trail race, where there was little expectations and hardly anyone that I knew who was going to be running in it. For the past couple weeks I have been getting my running in, doing some long runs, some medium distance runs, but barely any real speed work. I did 7 400s one day, but other than that not much. My confidence was shaken and my desire was in question. I wasn't sure that I wanted to really run fast and wasn't sure that I could do it again. It wasn't so much anxiety, but rather a worry. Can I do it again? Can I put myself through the ringer again? Do I really want to continue doing this again?

*By my standards

...it was a day back in the summer of 2004. I kinda had a plan for my life after graduating from college. It was something that sounded easy. I was going to take a year off. Apply to graduate school, and once I got in backpack throughout Europe. That was the plan. But for the fall I needed something to do. Go back to Harris Teeter? Umm...no. My brother was going to be entering ninth grade and was joining the cross country team. My sister was also on the team. Over the summer I would drive him over to practice, drop him off, and then pick him back up. After awhile it got kinda ridiculous to drive out to McAlpine, drive back home, and then drive back to McAlpine. So one day I dropped my brother off and then went and ran on my own. I just stayed by myself and ran enough. It must have made some impression because my old coach, Coach Airheart, asked me if I wanted to help volunteer with the team. My first thought was, wait a minute I guess she didn't remember me when I was in high school!

One day at practice we were going to run in the neighborhood that was at the top of the dirt trail right before the 1.5 mile mark at McMullen. Back in 1999 McMullen didn't even make it to the first bridge under 485, so when we ran we had to run on the roads. I was running with my friend Dustin and two freshmen, Bobby and Paul. We got onto the roads and we saw the neighborhood kids playing a game of football. Well that sounds better than running! So the four of us played football while the team ran, and when the team came back and saw us playing, I'm sure I felt something, but it wasn't shame. After a while Dustin and I realized we needed to go back, but the two freshmen decided to stay. We'll tell Airheart that you guys got a cramp or something. We got back to the parking lot and Dustin told her that Bobby and Paul were playing football. She chewed those guys out and when they found us they were pretty hurt. Dustin told them that's what happens when your a freshman!

That's what type of athlete/runner I was in high school. My 5k PR was 20:45, my 1600 PR was 5:30. I wasn't that fast. I didn't run during the summer. I hardly ran during practice. And here I was going to volunteer to coach with the JV boys. I didn't know really anything when it came to coaching. Terms like fartlek, tempo, or intervals might have well been a foreign language to me. The first time I ran with the Catholic cross country team in this role as volunteer coach was on a Tuesday. That much I know. Because it was a practice at the Harris Y.

I remember sitting in my car. I think I arrived a bit early (Which I always do). There was a kid in the car that had pulled up next to me in a white Jeep. He was looking in his mirror to see if his hair was alright, if he had any pimples, and to see if his earring was rightly in place. I thought this guy is trying to look cool when he is really not. I had no idea what I was going to run that morning. I had heard hills, but had no idea what was going to happen. We did a mile warm up around the outdoor track, stretched, and then went into the neighborhood behind the Y to run the loop.

I had been told it was hilly and that it would be tough. I didn't think the pace was that hard, but I really didn't want to get dropped. So I stayed out in front and before I knew it we were done. The kid from the Jeep, who I later found out to be Ryan Whitley, asked me if I was tired. I told him no. Well we weren't running it that fast, was how he retorted to me. Well are we going to do another loop, I asked. No I'm tired, he said matter of fact and rather confused me because it made no sense (I soon understood that this was my introduction to Whitley logic). And then something happened that made me understand that I would probably start to enjoy coaching this team. Ryan started to walk away from me. I thought, did I do something wrong to anger him? We were on the roads in a residential area, houses all around us. The Y was in front of us, but there was a fence and woods. Ryan walked towards the fence, behind some bushes and started to use nature as it was intended. No he didn't hid behind a tree, he just stepped out and was urinating. I thought this was rather strange, but since nobody else seemed to be bothered or shocked by this, I assumed this was normal. That was how I was introduced to the Catholic XC team.

...I was sitting in my car on Tuesday. The weather was absolutely gorgeous. When I would be coaching and we would have weather like this over the summer I would tell the kids, better take advantage of this while we can. Which translated from coach talk: were going to be running a lot today. One thing that has been a constant at the Harris Y over the summer was the summer camp. There's always a gang of little kids running around the perimeter of the track, you kinda have to pay attention to make sure that you don't run anyone over. I did a mile warm up and was surprised how fast I ran it, somewhere around 7:05. I wasn't really expecting to run fast today, I was going to the track meet and I was going to run the mile for sure. Maybe the 5k. After stretching I made my way to the journey that awaited me.

The Harris Y traditional loop starts on Sharon Hills road, then you turn right onto Rosemary, then it's a quick right onto Sharon Acres and almost immediately you turn left onto Prince George. Then it's a right onto Whistlestop, then a left back onto Sharon Acres, and then a right onto Yellowood. Starting and stopping at the Y makes it about 3 miles. It's pretty hilly but it does have it's downhills and flat parts. If you have never run it before the first hill is the one that intimidates you. I would always tell kids who came out for the first time, well that first hill is pretty tough. The hill ended up being a thing of lore, it was either Rosemary or simple put Rosie. It was just steep. It was somewhat long too. But after that every other hill wasn't that bad. I think the steep incline up Whistlestop are just as bad, but once you get through that mental barrier at the first hill, everything after that is pretty easy.

As I was running the route I had a sense of calm, a sense of relief come over me. I wasn't that concerned with anything and started to think about all the memories that I had from the place...

-like that time I set up neon yellow soccer cones throughout the course for a fartlek run and I saw some woman later on in my run picking up trash. I spotted my soccer cones in her trash bag, and I had to politely ask her for my cones back.

-the time J-Fad fell down Rosemary. Picturing her tumbling down the hill gave me a guilty laugh.

-"Jeff St. John lives on St. John lane!"

-the time that Mark and Jake were fed up with Sanders talking down to them about how slow they were running over the summer, and finally busted it out right at Rosemary. I was running with Mark's brother when I saw the lead group go, and it took me until Yellowood to catch them. I think we ran the first 2.5 miles in 14 minutes, but I think everything I tell the story the time keeps dropping

-the constant mention of the "meth house" on Yellowood

-whenever we would stop after one loop we would see who had sweated the most during the run

-the porta-john that was behind the fence that saved me one or two times

-the Olde Georgetown swimming pool that taunted us during those warm summer days

-the groups that would come out for the run. I think the summer of 2008 was the year where there were the biggest numbers. Maybe like 20-30 kids out for voluntary runs during the summer. Then again I think 2009 wasn't that bad either.

And like all good things they have to come to an end. What comes up must go down. When I think about things I have to include them all. Because even if the bad things were unpleasant they had some impact on who I was and how it shaped me as a person. In some ways I was running with ghost on that run. Whether it was Drew, John S, Dean, Gilligan, Whitley, Mark, Jake, Jamie, my brother they were all there. It was a loop that I hadn't done for almost a year, but it felt familiar. In fact we only ran there once a week for about two months, so it really was only eight times a year that we were there, but it always felt like I was reconnecting with an old friend. The last time I ran it was July of last year and it poured a cold rain during the run. It reminded me of another time that I ran the loop where it did the same exact thing. The memories start to run together at certain points. They all feel the same.

I ended up doing another loop. This time backwards and I added up with what I called the Bamboo forest part of the loop. I ended my run with a cool down to give myself a total of a little bit over 8 miles. I had done the hill loops at an average of 6:40. My legs didn't feel trashed and I was going to go out there for the track race and run whatever I could do. Throughout the course of the day I took a nap (I'm in my off period till I have to work so I'm going to take advantage of it) and visualized the race that was about to unfold. It was the mile. There were variations of the race. Some good. Some bad. The good outweighed the bad. I then got that anxious feeling in my stomach. Tough to breathe but something in the fire of my belly. I was going to go out and see what would happen. I didn't expect much but I figured sub 5 minutes would be something to aim for. I wondered who was going to be out there and was ready to roll. I always like summer track. It was simple, cheap, and somewhat a DIY event that harkened to my punk roots. I always saw the same people there running it and the same people participating in it. I had done well there and I had done poorly there. This might be my last race in Charlotte for a while I wanted to go out on my terms...

Part II Summer Track Part 2010 Redux tomorrow night

For those wondering if you want to run the route I described behind the Harris Y, there are painted arrows at the streets I mentioned. As well there are arrows painted on the road for the duathlon that is held at the Harris Y in August. It can be pretty confusing. The Splash and Dash as it's called does not include the Rosemary hill and I think is the hill loop backwards. The loop that we, the Catholic team, would do was based on the Krueger Jump into Fall 5k that was held in late August or right before school started. I think the Splash and Dash replaced it. I never ran the Krueger race, it didn't look like a lot of fun. I do know that Chris Lamperski won it in 2005 or 2006 with a time in the low 17s, but don't quote me on it.