Excitement

For some reason I feel really good today. I don't know why, but I sure felt better than I did for a Monday. I'm thinking that this positive energy is going to last a long time and it's going to carry over in everything I do. I haven't felt this good for a long time. I'm doing what I need to do and still working to get better. Well not much more to say!

Upbeat

Well it's another day down and one more day of summer school left. I really feel bad that it's almost over, kinda wishing that it wouldn't end. They wont come back to school for almost a month. I think one thing that I have done well is build up a positive relationship with the students. Usually there are twenty four students in the classroom, but it really doesn't feel like there's that many. Although there are moments when a big rush comes in, for the most part I think it's not so bad. Especially when you consider that there is another teacher in the classroom.

Today I lead my second morning meeting and it went a lot better than the first one (my opinion). I was able to engage the students better and made sure that they didn't get bored, because that's the one thing that I have to avoid. When I had the game at the end of the meeting that's when I realized that the game I used was a mistake and soon lost most of the student's engagement. Although my lead was out of the classroom at this moment, I didn't notice it and was flying solo. Other than that I feel that I am developing a stronger voice to communicate myself to the students, and I feel that I am taking the responsibilities that I know how. I feel that from my previous situations that I know where I have been and that I don't want to go back. So I feel that I have that going for me and I feel that I can only get better. I'm excited to see what will happen once the fall starts, but remain confident that things will work out very well for me.

Staying in on a Saturday

Weekend nearing completion. Got almost all of my agenda taken care of. Should take about 1-2 hours tomorrow. Looking forward to one more week of work, then a trip to Nashville. Excited about going to a place that I have never been before. Continuing to improve on things. Continuing to improve on the things that I do well. Fun times ahead. Tougher times ahead. Stay positive is the way to go.

Like the angel...

Sometimes I need to stop and just think. That's probably what's kept me sane. Also I believe there are other things that have kept me from freaking out. I keep hear about people crying one day after work. I think if I was doing this a couple years ago that would probably be the case, but now I know certain things. One thing that has really got me very interested is the psychology of the way I am seeing them interact and how they handle different things. It's quite interesting to witness this first hand. At the same time it's very serious work knowing that I'm one of the first who get to work with them first. I have to keep a positive attitude but at the same time I have to be consistent and firm. It's a line that I want to hit by the end of the year. I still have that good feeling whenever I leave work, and I always hope that it continues. I can't really put it into articulate words how awesome it is to walk to work in between 6th and 7th street and see the Jefferson Memorial a couple miles down the way. The street is flat and you can see straight ahead. It's the little things like that that make me want to say for years to come and give me a smile before I get to work. Maybe it's seeing how the students grow and seeing them work on something, it's how they interact with others, and how they turning into a great group (no matter what they do). I guess one advantage I have (other than being as old as Kent) is that I know where I have been and never want to go back and wash dishes at The Fillmore, when things got tough, ever again. I may not run as fast as I will every be able to, but I feel that honestly there are more important things than running. It's still a part of me, but there is already so much more than putting one foot ahead of the other (relatively) fast. Maybe that's me. If you have a different view on this that's fine. I have a training schedule, I have goals, but it's not something that I model to T.

I'm trying to think if there is anything more exciting to talk about. Other than leading the read aloud, where I have thrown down a rather weird voice and a British accent, things are going smooth. Tomorrow I lead the beginning of the class for 15 minutes. I'm comparing it to stand up, and hopefully it goes better than when I actually did stand up. I probably will not sweat as much as I did that one time. I probably will make some mistakes, but I'm thinking that I'm get the main messages across. My one goal is to not run out of time. That would be somewhat embarrassing. I think also tomorrow night I will go out with some work colleagues and eat at some noodle place. Then for the weekend I'm not really sure. My birthday is Sunday, but honestly I think the weekend will be mild seeing that my circle of friends is quite low up in DC. Oh well I can't stay up past 11pm on a weekend, gotta be able to get my long run in!

Ch-Ch-Changes

As I start the second week things are still going smoothly and I'm fitting into a routine that is keeping me sane, and making get ready for each day. Each day presents a new challenge that I'm ready to tackle. Each day is a new opportunity to see how things unfold and to give me a clue on what to do. I feel that right now I am pleasantly pleased with how things are going. It's some of the little things that make the day special and right now I'm filled with them. I really hope that this confidence shows up in the way that I interact with others and how I conduct myself in regard to body language, but I feel that those areas are getting better as the days continue.

I guess one reason why I'm so glad to be doing this is that I know what the alternatives are. I know what it's like not to have this, so I make sure that everyday I'm prepared to the gills. I make sure to remind myself what it was like for a year and that I don't ever want to get back to that place again. I feel that I have been given a second chance and will continue to develop what I have been given and give it out to those around me. I still want to stay true to myself but I want to make sure that I get out of the comfort zone that engulfs me. I feel that this is something that will continue and by this time next month will be different, by 2 months it will be different, and by next year I'll be different. Can you call it maturity? I'm not really sure, but I do feel a seismic change in my personality that I sometimes look at myself as a different person. I'm not really sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing, but I know that there are certain things where I'll stay true to myself and yet there will be some instances where I've changed. I guess it's taken some time, it's probably a little to late for some people's opinion, and I probably could have done things differently in the past. But honestly, and while it may seem rather cold, those were learning experiences. I just have to keep on doing what I do, I guess.

I'm keeping myself grounded. I still feel that I have a lot of work to do, so I'm sure that I'll always be busy.

Rockville Twilight 8k: Relax

I've been sitting back, resting, and lying about my place and thinking over the race from last night. I guess I could say the one word that comes to my mind is disappointment. I had a goal of running under 27 minutes and didn't come close to running it. But at the same time I have learned to put things into prospective and realize that there are certain positives to take out of this race. As I was doing my run this morning I remembered that I had been only seriously training for this race for about three weeks, so to run 5:30 for 5 miles after three weeks isn't to shabby. Also (and not to use this as an excuse, but to point it out) while the temperatures were in the high 70s/low 80s giving an appearance of it feeling cool, the humidity was out there and I'm sure the dew point was in the upper 60s. I'm not sure what the dew point was but after doing an eleven minute warm up, I was already sweating a bit. As this was a new race in a new place I wasn't really sure what the course was going to be like. I had been told the race was hilly, and while compared to what I've raced in Charlotte it wasn't that hilly, but looking at my garmin stats three of the five miles there was a net climb over a net descent. With that being said this was the fastest 8k that I've run before, and looking over the many positives I'll take this result and go forward. After this pity party of sorts let's go to the new and improved running diary!

6:30 am This is my sleeping in time now. Ah geez! I went to bed the night before at 9:45 because I was just to tired. Waking up at this time I walked around my place and got ready to do an easy shake out run.

7 am Ran a nice 4 mile shake out run. If my friends in Charlotte were doing the 4 miler well why not do one myself. The morning was gorgeous this morning. In the 60s nice breeze made it feel cooler. Opted to wear a long sleeve shirt. It felt good. Ran just under thirty minutes.

8am After eating breakfast see that I received a text message from my sister last night. Apparently I didn't hear it at all. It was at 10:15. I then realize that I am an old man in that I slept through the message. I had the phone on vibrate and it was right next to me. That must be sign 1 that I'm getting old.

9-11:30 am I decide that it would be a good time to relax and watch the tour and the open championship. It was at this time that I took a nap. It was probably a thirty minute nap. It was also a nap where I fell asleep in my nice relaxing chair. It was an old man nap.

11:45-12:45 pm As with my usual custom for a pre race meal I needed to get my shells and pasta from Harris Teeter. The closest one to my place is off the U Street metro. I ended up taking the metro and then walking to just under a mile to HT. Let me tell you about this HT. You have to walk up stairs to get to it! But they didn't have my meal. Instead I bought some spaghetti for lunch.

1:15-2 pm Eat the spaghetti and cook the take and bake bread. Is there any other bread that's better to make than the take and bake bread? I think not. It's also at this point to say that when I was working at Harris Teeter I use to work the bread kiosk from time to time. I can't tell you how many free samples I would eat there, but let's say it was anywhere from 2-3 loafs.

2-5:30 pm Not a whole lot going on here. I watched some tv and then tried to take a nap. The nap went alright, but it wasn't that great of a nap.

5:30-6 pm I get ready to go to the race. Get all my things that I need. Got that, check! Got that, check! I make my way to the metro station and find that the train that I was going to take just leaves as I make my way down the stairs. Total bummer. The next train will be coming in fifteen minutes, total bummer!

6:25-7:35 pm The amount of time that I spent on the metro. The Georgia Ave/Petworth train came at 6:25, then I had to transfer over to the Red line at Chinatown, which it seems that they were doing construction. That meant there was roughly 1,000 people waiting for the trains on one track. One train comes by and I get on and realize they are going in the opposite direction that I want to go on. I jump off in time and then wait a couple minutes and get on the train I need to. I end up standing for most of the train ride and sit down for the last couple stops. I start to feel a bit of motion sickness, but nothing to bad. It was a reassuring sight to see the sun again when we get into Maryland.

7:35-8:15 pm I arrive at Rockville and take the quick trip to the expo. The race is near the town square, which is very nice. A bunch of restaurants, a movie theater, basically a really nice place to spend a Saturday night. Also it's packed. The stores and restaurants are packed. I get my packet. I notice that I get a dry fit shirt. Looking over at the festivities I realize that this race is a step above anything I've ran in in Charlotte.

8:15-8:30 pm Did my warm up. My garmin was acting up a bit and couldn't find a signal for awhile. I ran the first part of the course, which we ran twice. I come back from my warm up and put my bag in the bag check. This race has a lot of people in it. It's crowded. I'm hoping to run well.

8:45- 9:15 pm The race goes off...and immediately I'm way off pace. I was stuck behind the elite women and a bunch of scrubs. I look at my watch and see that I'm running 5:59 pace. It was at this moment where I started to press a bit and move to my left to find a space to move up. After moving up I see that my pace is 5:25, which I figure is going to be where I need to be. I don't check my watch again till the mile marker. The first mile had a small hill in it that I knew about, it also had a downhill right after it. The mile marker was just after the downhill and I hit it in...5:09. Well that wasn't what I was hoping for. Oh well. Also I should note that I'm probably in 25-30 place with a 5:09 mile.

The next mile we turned left into some neighborhoods, and let me tell you about the crowd support IT WAS MASSIVE. People were out in full force. The lines of the streets were packed. It was truly awesome. The second mile had the longest hill and the closest thing that it reminded me was the hill on Morehead, but not as long. I got to the second mile and it was 10:43. I actually felt good and was running well. I wasn't tired at this point. On the third mile we repeated most of what we did in the first mile. At the water stop I ran under this mist stream because I was sweating bad and was over heating. At times I was running by myself and at other times I was with people. One thing that I need to work on is to suck it up and run with a group, consequences be damned. I hit the three mile mark at 16:16.

The fourth mile was one that was probably the most out there from the spectators. We ran through parking lots going back and forth. It was at this point where I told myself that I had to catch three people and not get passed. I almost got this goal, I passed two people in the last mile. The fourth mile I wasn't feeling that great, but I still was positive and was flashing a smile. I hit the four mile marker at 22:06. At this point we were on the last mile. I knew that we stayed on the main street for the last mile. I figure ok it was time to start moving. I picked up the pace and realized that I stuff in the tank. I kinda used certain points in the course when to really pick it up. But I got confused and started to really pick it up earlier than when I should have. It didn't really cost me anything, other than not catching the guy who was in front of me with the truly awful stride. But I was able to drop a couple guys at the end and finished the last .97 with a 5:11. I finished with a 27:22. That's what my watch said. I'm taking that to the bank. My garmin measured the course at 5.04. Oh well. I was spent after the race, I probably could have ran a bit faster. I was a bit disappointed after the race, but I knew that there was much more important things going on with my life, and that honestly this wasn't going to get me down like it did after Twilight. I have another race lined up time to get to work on that race.

9:30 pm Did my cool down in my flats. It was slow and barely 3/4 of a mile. I got my stuff from the bag check, got some free food, and then walked back to the metro station. I got a free lemonade, but it had zero calories which meant that it tasted like crap. I ended up not finding a place to get something to eat and made my way to the metro station. I had at least an hour ride on the train, I was not looking forward to it.

9:54-10:55 pm Got on the train and was glad that I was able to find a seat. I was sending texts to Emily, which was good. Although some thoughts were going in my head. A) I hope I don't have to go to the bathroom, B) If I do have to go, where would I go?, C) Why is nobody sitting next to me? I looked in the glass and saw that I looked like death, I also realized that I smelled really bad and that when I got up from my seat it was covered in sweat. I am a disgusting person.

11-11:45 pm I ended up taking a shower. I was going to eat some chicken strips, but I was to tired to make them, so I just ate a bowl of cereal. I was tired and after I ate it I went to bed.

In looking back at the race when I was walking back to the metro station I realized that running really does show a person about life. And for me I need to find a balance and relax. I started to flip out a bit on the train going there, thinking I wasn't going to get to the race on time. I got way to impatient in the first mile and it cost me. I think that in order for me to go forward I'm going to need to pick my spot when I need to push it, and at the beginning of the race is not it. Maybe in the second mile? Also I realized that I might need to change things up a bit in training.

But I also looked and really want to focus on the positives. I never gave up and quit in the race. I competed as best as I could. I never totally broke my stride. I like how I ran the last bit hard. I like that I was able to bounce back in this road race after Twilight. I like how I was smiling during and after the race. Also I like how I enjoyed this race. Maybe it's work or maybe it's a change of scenery but I'm feeling good. I do realize that right now I'm only three weeks into some training and that three or four more weeks I'll be in better shape. This race was a good indication of where my fitness is. It was a summer night race and those are tough mentally and physically, but I feel that I held up well and can only see myself getting stronger. I'm working on things and feel that I'm getting better. On to the next race.

These pretzels are making me thirsty

Well I'm trying to figure what to write here or what to talk about. I'm a little undecided mainly because right now my mind is reaching a blank. Today wasn't bad at all. I'm remembering to keep the positive energy at all times. I did have to catch myself take a deep breath and put on a smile, but all in all it went pretty well. It was a full building today, so the little ones were here and at the beginning there was some crying on the other side of the hall, but after a while you kinda reach a zone and block those things out.

I feel everyday a growing confidence in leading the class, next week I take on my first responsibility of leading the morning meeting. Where we will probably go over classroom rules and procedures. Right now I'm working with my lead, who is awesome. I feel that this is something that I am learning as well as I can. There's never a feeling where I feel overstressed or waiting for the clock to tick to 2. Although I will have to say that at 2 I am feeling a sense of relief that I will be able to eat soon! But as with all things there will be ups and downs and everyone is staying positive and I hope to contribute to it. Like last week I was putting name tags on the desk and it was pretty frustrating. It was a THESE PRETZELS ARE MAKING ME THIRSTY moment. So I stopped what I was doing, walked down the halls, got some water, went into another classroom, found a nice purple hat, asked for permission to use it, and wore it the rest of the night. It was my calm down hat and it provided some comic relief. After three days things are good to go.

As for running it's a bit getting use to waking up at 4:45am to go out and run about 20 minutes later. I'm still getting adjusted to it. Tomorrow I'm going to sleep in till 5:15 and then do a sharpening workout for the race on Saturday night. I figure I'll almost have 60+ hours of recovery so I'm hoping to go a bit harder tomorrow morning. Another day of feeling good. Feeling like I'm making a difference. Feeling like this is a good thing.

Later gators.

Day 1

Well it happened. I was able to survive. Were there moments of thoughts racing through my head? Were there a couple moments when I had to take a deep breath? Was there a moment where I thought "Woooaahh"? YOU BET. Was there a moment where I felt overwhelmed? No.

As for first days, it is what it is. In a couple days things will be better. In a couple months things will be better. It's about improving everyday, realizing that mistakes are going to happen, and move on. That's kinda what I figured. It's a six hour day, but it's a constant six hours. The psychology and thought process are things that intrigue me. It's one of those things that until you see it happening you can't really define it. But I'm glad that I'm doing it. I have to say that I'm not broken down. I'm still waiting to get back and go again. It's a way to get better and in a way it's a challenge. And I know I don't back down from a challenge. It's also a big puzzle where I'm trying to figure out where all the pieces go.

But with all things I know that things will not always go smoothly, and that I need to remember the positives when I have negative thoughts. I've got one day down, about 179 left. Well let's do this!

One thing that is not relative to this post, but something that I have mentioned once before is the trash that I see on the streets or sidewalks in DC. As I was leaving work and walking to the metro I saw one kid just dump all his napkins on the sidewalk. Then as I was just about to get to the metro I saw this guy just drop his 7-11 cup, when a trash can was 10 feet away! I really don't know what to say. I guess people just dump there trash wherever they want. But as someone that lives in the city I just am dumbfounded when people do this. Just throw away your trash.

Another rant is that of course today has to be in the upper 90s, I ended up walking to the metro where I sweated through my shirt and pants. Of course the escalators weren't working so I had to hike up the mountains to get off the station. Other than that it's been a good day!

The Enchiladas made us sick, but that's ok

A day that has seemed like it's gone on forever. It started with a 5:30 wake up. Since I'm still staying up to date with how everyone is running in Charlotte, I've been paying attention to the weather, the humidity, and the dew point. Having read how stifling and muggy it is, I am somewhat blessed that in DC it's not that bad. I checked the dew point for my area this morning and it was 65, I'm not really sure how bad that is, but it didn't feel anywhere close to what Charlotte is like this time of year.

As for the run, it started out pretty well. I went onto the C&O trail to get some miles on the gravel. I kinda realized that the distance that I was running was going to be catching up to me when I had to turn around. At the 9.5 mile mark I turned around and realized the daunting task that was ahead of me. To give a description of the trail it's like Old Bell, if Old Bell was 5-10 miles long. It's just flat and straight. I took comfort in knowing that I had the canal on one side of me and the Potomac on the other. At least it was something different. I wasn't feeling great, and what I like to think is a small breakthrough is that I soldiered on. I really wanted to take a long break or hope that there were cars that would cross my path, but it never happened and I eventually was able to muster what I had left and got back to my place. The route that I take isn't that bad, and the trails provide much more scenery than what I get in Charlotte. After the run I took my first ice bath in a long time. I think I'm going to make it a Sunday tradition.

After doing some core and stretching I was very much in the mood to get some brunch, but after getting dressed I realized I really didn't want to walk half a mile to get some food. So I decided to stay in and make some pancakes and scrambled eggs. At the same time I was walking the tour de crash. Even though most of the riders are probably doing some sort of cheating, I'll still watch it regardless. After the race was over I decided to take a nap. I woke up at 1 and was going to read the lesson plans I received, but on a whim checked to see what was up with the soccer game. Needless to say I watched a pretty good game and while I wasn't thinking as clearly as I could, coming up from a nap, I was enthralled by what I was watching.

Some other highlights included a half hour fire alarm in my building, where myself and the other residents waited outside till the fire department came. Nothing really remarkable happened, so we went back inside. I figured that for my Sunday dinner I was going to try cooking up the enchiladas I bought a week ago. I put them in the oven and was a bit disappointed by how small they were. I took about 45 minutes to prep them and 5 minutes to eat them. Not my mom's enchiladas, so if anyone has any suggestions for a Sunday dinner for me to cook I'm open to it.

Going to get a good amount of sleep in, probably going to disregard watching Leverage and Curb tonight to do some last minute prepping. But tomorrow is going to be fun and excited. I would like to say that I'm nervous, but I don't feel it right now. I kinda have the impression that I'm an actor onstage preforming. But what I'm doing is something that is important, so I'm not diminishing it what I'm doing. I guess that's the analogy that I'm looking for. I am glad that I can leave at 4 tomorrow and don't have to worry about being there till 8 or 9.

This past week has lead to some eye opening revelations about myself and really how much better I can be at a lot of things. I've been thinking that this pd was something that I should have done when I was coaching. For the school to help me out and for myself to work with my assistants. It's something that could have been done in half a day, but it's something that provides cohesiveness, structure, and clearly expressed expectations. When I got handed the head coaching position it was like, here you go. No training in how to deal with anyone, no training in how to deal with conflict. I could coach the sport, but there were so many other little things that go into it. We did have a meeting of all coaches at a bar, but I felt that it was something that was a waste of time, and really glossed over things. I feel extremely confident in myself when it comes to returning to coaching that on the side of managing the business side I'm better prepared. I also feel that being away has given me a new perspective when it comes to learning new training styles, so I'm hoping that eventually that will come back. And it hit me today that right now in Asheville running camp is starting. One day I'll be back there. That's what I'm telling myself. I've got a lot of things to make right and I'm repairing them one day at a time.

The blog post isn't in reference to my dinner, but a line from a song a Bouncing Souls song. The same song that I took to title this blog!

Summer Track Series Finale

...I arrived at the Myers Park High School track sometime around 6 that night. This was not going to be the usual summer track series that I had known in years past. Gone were the days when you scribbled your name on a waver, received two carnival raffle tickets, and paid two dollars. Now I had to fill out an official race form, pay eight dollars, and receive a bib. No more of the laissez-faire notion that had been the custom in years past. Whether anyone cares for my opinion on this matter or not, I am a bit of a traditionalist and would rather they keep the loose settings that defined the series in years past. But like all things change was for the better. But one thing that was a constant was that the same starter, Tom, for all the high school races I coached and some of the road races I ran would be the official starter. I'm already feeling a good vibe.

The Myers Park track has some special memories for me. Not anything that I have done in regard to running. More in the vain of the athletes that I coached. There's one photo that I have been trying to find online, but for the life of me I can't find. It was taken with 150 meters to go in the 3200 at the Queen City Relays. It was where Jonathan Sunde was finishing and he was passing another athlete that I entered in that race, Dean. The picture was on the

front page of NCRunners.com, and it looked like I had placed the top two athletes in the race. Well not really. Jonathan was lapping Dean. But hardly anyone knew it and thought I was a really good coach. Jonathan ended up running a 9:35 for the win. It really was a great race. He had a battle with Ross Hughes of Myers for the first seven laps, and then he brought the hammer down. I will take that win over many other ones that I coached. It was Jonathan at his peak and he really showed everyone at a big time meet he was for real. I was proud of him for how he ran.

There were other memories from this track as well. We usually had our polar bear meets (for those who don't know what they are. Indoor track meets held outdoors are called polar bear meets) at the track. There's another picture that I can't find, I think I deleted it, but it was a picture of the team I enjoyed coaching the most. The 2006-07 Indoor Track team. It had the right size, the right people, and the right chemistry. We were all standing together looking goofy. Some smiling. Others giving each other hugs. It was classic. After those meets I would drive over to the Soda Shop at the Park Road Shopping Center and eat with some of the kids. It was a simpler time. Before I got a bit jaded...

...signing up for the track series I knew that there would be some big guns coming (I hoped). I wasn't sure what I really was going to do. I knew the mile, the 5k was another story. I wasn't that confident in my fitness and I wasn't sure if I was going to flame out or not during the mile. Was this going to be another Twilight? I really didn't know. I was feeling the doubt when I started to sit down and address the situation before me. I had heard the mile was moved to 6:40 and that I probably should warm up at 6:10. But still I wasn't that sure what I was going to do. I was downplaying my ability a bit. Under 5 was the goal. Maybe a 4:50 if I'm feeling good. My legs felt alright. But what about my heart?

...after running camp I decided one day over the summer, maybe every Wednesday, we would do a Roy Benson day. Coach Benson was in charge of the camp we went to, and the joke was that we would dress like he did during the camp. The ensemble was a collared shirt tucked into your running shorts. It was quite a sight to see at McAlpine when four or five guys did this. Wearing polos or their school uniform. I was wearing my Nike Dry Fit collared shirt that I got from running camp and was wearing my grunge shorts. I figured right before the warm up, what the hell let's do it. Off went my shorts and I tucked in my shirt to my running shorts. I hiked up my wool socks and off I went in the opposite

direction on the track for my warm up.*

*Warming up in the opposite direction on the track is a Catholic Cross Country/Track tradition unlike any other.

I wasn't sure who was going to be in the field. I knew most were going to be doing

the 5k, but when I saw Jonathan on the track it looked like he was good to go. I talked to him briefly and knew that he wanted to run something, that he was going to stay behind whoever was running 70s. Well that doesn't look like it will be me. After doing some strides and drills I was feeling better about my chances. I donned my old school Catholic XC jersey and got to the line. I was pretty nervous before the start. The picture at the right showed this energy. I was blowing into my hands, and right after this picture was taken I spit out something wicked onto the ground. I was kinda amped up to go. Tom started the race...and I took it from the start. I got out to what I thought was a good position and lead. For about 100 meters and then this guy in a Kenya jersey, David, came up to me. I could feel that he was faster and let him go. I think we went through the 400 in 69 or 70 I wasn't sure. I let Jonathan, Ben D, and Mike M go ahead of me, but I was still running what I thought was a pretty good time. I think we hit the 800 at 2:19. It was at this point where Jonathan and David were to far in front of me. I made a move on Ben and went by him, and was running with Mike for the rest of the time. When we got past the third lap I didn't the go button immediately, I knew that whatever kick I had was not going to be that po-

werful. But a 100 meters into the lap I decided to go. Why? That's how I run. Was it smart? Not really. I put a gap on Mike for a bit, but in the homestretch I tied up and he went by me. It's a terrible feeling when you know your body is giving up, yet mentally you aren't. I ended up running a 4:40.91 which really shocked me. I was only three seconds off my PR. I hadn't done any real proper speed workouts in a month, and had done six miles of hills in the morning. I had the same feeling after every mile race where I felt like crap for a couple minutes after the race, but a strange feeling came afterwards. I didn't feel that bad at all. My legs felt great. Well why not run the 5k!

With the 5k I really had no intention of really doing any damage. This was going to be a painful reminder that I was out of shape. I was going to have to suck up whatever pride I had and go out there and just run something that would make me proud. No matter how slow or fast I ran. I was glad that after talking to the big dogs nobody wanted to push it that much. We went through the first 400 in 82 and I just couldn't take that. I was content on running 80s, but that was to damn slow. And so the impatience set in. I was planning on waiting for a mile before deciding to see how I felt. But after that lap I figured, no free rides. I shot to the front and went for it. I'm not content on letting the race come to me, I'm more of the opinion dictating how I'm going to run. Has that hurt me in past races? Sure. But I don't feel bad with how I ran, and I don't think I want to run any other way. I ended up running a 17:07 for the 5k. My splits were consistent with 83's taking the majority of them. I felt my stride was, I didn't think I was running with poor form. It was something to remind me that there are going to be ups and downs, but if I find focus and motivation then I can be a pretty good runner...it's just to bad that it's not going to happen in Charlotte. Like a lot of other things...

After the 5k I cooled down with some of the guys and ran for 14 minutes. It didn't feel that bad at all. I think all the core (proper) I'm doing is paying off. The strength exercises that I'm doing as well are helping out with my form. And the fact that I am paying attention to nutrition and how I am running are working out. I felt pretty good on the cool down and knew that I am slowly reaching back to where I was at the beginning of March. I'm not in great shape, but I'm getting close to it.

After cooling down I spotted Allen drinking what looked like Sprite. Upon closer inspection it was something that was not Sprite but it's older brother. Is this a dry campus? Not anymore! Seriously how can I turn down free drinks?! IF YOU INSIST. This was something that I was looking for when I first started doing the summer track series. Back in 2005, 06, 07 I didn't really know anybody in the Charlotte running community. I knew a couple of runners, Stan, Chris, and Cody, but hardly ever talked to them. I would see them at races (or with Stan at McMullen) not really talk to them, finish the race, and then go home. But I would see them at the track series hanging out with a bunch of people having a good time, and it made me a bit jealous that I was missing out. I don't know why I didn't just walk over there and introduce myself and talk to them, maybe I didn't think I was that good of a runner to hang out with them, maybe I didn't want to impose, I really don't know. But I would do the track races and then leave. Now as I was leaving I was able to experience it. It was something that I would remember more often than any race where I PR'd or any workout where I ran well.

"All these days they’ve run past

Life’s going by so fast

All the best things that I have

No one can take them from me

Here’s to the memories"

The Bouncing Souls

The party's over..

This is a somewhat longer* post from what I did on Tuesday June 14. It included a run at the Harris Y and a Summer Track meet race. Going into the week I wasn't that sure if I really wanted to run a track race or just observe. Honestly since the Twilight 5k disaster I had been scared to run anything fast, whether in a race or in a workout. I had ran one race, albeit it was a trail race, where there was little expectations and hardly anyone that I knew who was going to be running in it. For the past couple weeks I have been getting my running in, doing some long runs, some medium distance runs, but barely any real speed work. I did 7 400s one day, but other than that not much. My confidence was shaken and my desire was in question. I wasn't sure that I wanted to really run fast and wasn't sure that I could do it again. It wasn't so much anxiety, but rather a worry. Can I do it again? Can I put myself through the ringer again? Do I really want to continue doing this again?

*By my standards

...it was a day back in the summer of 2004. I kinda had a plan for my life after graduating from college. It was something that sounded easy. I was going to take a year off. Apply to graduate school, and once I got in backpack throughout Europe. That was the plan. But for the fall I needed something to do. Go back to Harris Teeter? Umm...no. My brother was going to be entering ninth grade and was joining the cross country team. My sister was also on the team. Over the summer I would drive him over to practice, drop him off, and then pick him back up. After awhile it got kinda ridiculous to drive out to McAlpine, drive back home, and then drive back to McAlpine. So one day I dropped my brother off and then went and ran on my own. I just stayed by myself and ran enough. It must have made some impression because my old coach, Coach Airheart, asked me if I wanted to help volunteer with the team. My first thought was, wait a minute I guess she didn't remember me when I was in high school!

One day at practice we were going to run in the neighborhood that was at the top of the dirt trail right before the 1.5 mile mark at McMullen. Back in 1999 McMullen didn't even make it to the first bridge under 485, so when we ran we had to run on the roads. I was running with my friend Dustin and two freshmen, Bobby and Paul. We got onto the roads and we saw the neighborhood kids playing a game of football. Well that sounds better than running! So the four of us played football while the team ran, and when the team came back and saw us playing, I'm sure I felt something, but it wasn't shame. After a while Dustin and I realized we needed to go back, but the two freshmen decided to stay. We'll tell Airheart that you guys got a cramp or something. We got back to the parking lot and Dustin told her that Bobby and Paul were playing football. She chewed those guys out and when they found us they were pretty hurt. Dustin told them that's what happens when your a freshman!

That's what type of athlete/runner I was in high school. My 5k PR was 20:45, my 1600 PR was 5:30. I wasn't that fast. I didn't run during the summer. I hardly ran during practice. And here I was going to volunteer to coach with the JV boys. I didn't know really anything when it came to coaching. Terms like fartlek, tempo, or intervals might have well been a foreign language to me. The first time I ran with the Catholic cross country team in this role as volunteer coach was on a Tuesday. That much I know. Because it was a practice at the Harris Y.

I remember sitting in my car. I think I arrived a bit early (Which I always do). There was a kid in the car that had pulled up next to me in a white Jeep. He was looking in his mirror to see if his hair was alright, if he had any pimples, and to see if his earring was rightly in place. I thought this guy is trying to look cool when he is really not. I had no idea what I was going to run that morning. I had heard hills, but had no idea what was going to happen. We did a mile warm up around the outdoor track, stretched, and then went into the neighborhood behind the Y to run the loop.

I had been told it was hilly and that it would be tough. I didn't think the pace was that hard, but I really didn't want to get dropped. So I stayed out in front and before I knew it we were done. The kid from the Jeep, who I later found out to be Ryan Whitley, asked me if I was tired. I told him no. Well we weren't running it that fast, was how he retorted to me. Well are we going to do another loop, I asked. No I'm tired, he said matter of fact and rather confused me because it made no sense (I soon understood that this was my introduction to Whitley logic). And then something happened that made me understand that I would probably start to enjoy coaching this team. Ryan started to walk away from me. I thought, did I do something wrong to anger him? We were on the roads in a residential area, houses all around us. The Y was in front of us, but there was a fence and woods. Ryan walked towards the fence, behind some bushes and started to use nature as it was intended. No he didn't hid behind a tree, he just stepped out and was urinating. I thought this was rather strange, but since nobody else seemed to be bothered or shocked by this, I assumed this was normal. That was how I was introduced to the Catholic XC team.

...I was sitting in my car on Tuesday. The weather was absolutely gorgeous. When I would be coaching and we would have weather like this over the summer I would tell the kids, better take advantage of this while we can. Which translated from coach talk: were going to be running a lot today. One thing that has been a constant at the Harris Y over the summer was the summer camp. There's always a gang of little kids running around the perimeter of the track, you kinda have to pay attention to make sure that you don't run anyone over. I did a mile warm up and was surprised how fast I ran it, somewhere around 7:05. I wasn't really expecting to run fast today, I was going to the track meet and I was going to run the mile for sure. Maybe the 5k. After stretching I made my way to the journey that awaited me.

The Harris Y traditional loop starts on Sharon Hills road, then you turn right onto Rosemary, then it's a quick right onto Sharon Acres and almost immediately you turn left onto Prince George. Then it's a right onto Whistlestop, then a left back onto Sharon Acres, and then a right onto Yellowood. Starting and stopping at the Y makes it about 3 miles. It's pretty hilly but it does have it's downhills and flat parts. If you have never run it before the first hill is the one that intimidates you. I would always tell kids who came out for the first time, well that first hill is pretty tough. The hill ended up being a thing of lore, it was either Rosemary or simple put Rosie. It was just steep. It was somewhat long too. But after that every other hill wasn't that bad. I think the steep incline up Whistlestop are just as bad, but once you get through that mental barrier at the first hill, everything after that is pretty easy.

As I was running the route I had a sense of calm, a sense of relief come over me. I wasn't that concerned with anything and started to think about all the memories that I had from the place...

-like that time I set up neon yellow soccer cones throughout the course for a fartlek run and I saw some woman later on in my run picking up trash. I spotted my soccer cones in her trash bag, and I had to politely ask her for my cones back.

-the time J-Fad fell down Rosemary. Picturing her tumbling down the hill gave me a guilty laugh.

-"Jeff St. John lives on St. John lane!"

-the time that Mark and Jake were fed up with Sanders talking down to them about how slow they were running over the summer, and finally busted it out right at Rosemary. I was running with Mark's brother when I saw the lead group go, and it took me until Yellowood to catch them. I think we ran the first 2.5 miles in 14 minutes, but I think everything I tell the story the time keeps dropping

-the constant mention of the "meth house" on Yellowood

-whenever we would stop after one loop we would see who had sweated the most during the run

-the porta-john that was behind the fence that saved me one or two times

-the Olde Georgetown swimming pool that taunted us during those warm summer days

-the groups that would come out for the run. I think the summer of 2008 was the year where there were the biggest numbers. Maybe like 20-30 kids out for voluntary runs during the summer. Then again I think 2009 wasn't that bad either.

And like all good things they have to come to an end. What comes up must go down. When I think about things I have to include them all. Because even if the bad things were unpleasant they had some impact on who I was and how it shaped me as a person. In some ways I was running with ghost on that run. Whether it was Drew, John S, Dean, Gilligan, Whitley, Mark, Jake, Jamie, my brother they were all there. It was a loop that I hadn't done for almost a year, but it felt familiar. In fact we only ran there once a week for about two months, so it really was only eight times a year that we were there, but it always felt like I was reconnecting with an old friend. The last time I ran it was July of last year and it poured a cold rain during the run. It reminded me of another time that I ran the loop where it did the same exact thing. The memories start to run together at certain points. They all feel the same.

I ended up doing another loop. This time backwards and I added up with what I called the Bamboo forest part of the loop. I ended my run with a cool down to give myself a total of a little bit over 8 miles. I had done the hill loops at an average of 6:40. My legs didn't feel trashed and I was going to go out there for the track race and run whatever I could do. Throughout the course of the day I took a nap (I'm in my off period till I have to work so I'm going to take advantage of it) and visualized the race that was about to unfold. It was the mile. There were variations of the race. Some good. Some bad. The good outweighed the bad. I then got that anxious feeling in my stomach. Tough to breathe but something in the fire of my belly. I was going to go out and see what would happen. I didn't expect much but I figured sub 5 minutes would be something to aim for. I wondered who was going to be out there and was ready to roll. I always like summer track. It was simple, cheap, and somewhat a DIY event that harkened to my punk roots. I always saw the same people there running it and the same people participating in it. I had done well there and I had done poorly there. This might be my last race in Charlotte for a while I wanted to go out on my terms...

Part II Summer Track Part 2010 Redux tomorrow night

For those wondering if you want to run the route I described behind the Harris Y, there are painted arrows at the streets I mentioned. As well there are arrows painted on the road for the duathlon that is held at the Harris Y in August. It can be pretty confusing. The Splash and Dash as it's called does not include the Rosemary hill and I think is the hill loop backwards. The loop that we, the Catholic team, would do was based on the Krueger Jump into Fall 5k that was held in late August or right before school started. I think the Splash and Dash replaced it. I never ran the Krueger race, it didn't look like a lot of fun. I do know that Chris Lamperski won it in 2005 or 2006 with a time in the low 17s, but don't quote me on it.