For intent purposes this was how I was going to start out this recap...
My typical day starts out like this: waking up around 3:50 or 4 am. Take some time to organize my thoughts and bearings. I go on my computer to see what's going on in the world and to see what the weather is going to be like. I then proceed to run from my apartment building, either heading towards Maryland on Monday or running down 16th street for the rest of the week. There's usually nobody else out, aside from the people waiting at the bus stops. I never see another person running when I start out and usually would see maybe 3-5 people total in the week running that early. I finish my run, do my core and stretching, eat some breakfast, take a shower, then leave for work. I would be at work for twelve hours. I come home take a shower to decompress, do some work, maybe watch some tv and then go to bed. On the weekends, I'll go for a run at a reasonable hour, then come home and stay in my apartment the rest of the day. Never going out. Never interacting with another person.
In the twelve weeks training for the marathon, I ran with another person once. I'm not going to count the cool down I did after the 10k. If you discount talking to people I work with, then I don't talk to anyone. I travel on the metro, seeing faces of different people wondering where they are going, wondering if they think the same thing to me. I see running groups on the weekend at parks, and never feel the need to join them. My morning runs sum up what is happening: a desolate road with a single shadow running by themselves. I'm by myself.
Yep that would have been the start of the recap. You could call it The Depressor. I was going to call it the Loneliness of the Long Distance Runner. But that's not going to happen here. Instead I'm going to talk about the marathon, but not talk about it really. So if your of the mind to read something about how running is some sort of mythological status that takes you places or that it's a metaphor for life. That's not me. That's not how I view running. Honestly running is boring. Talking about running is boring. It's a dying sport. It has more in common with newspapers. To me running is putting one foot in front of another fast. When people ask me why I run, I simply say because.
...whenever I watch the movie Alive, there are a couple thoughts that go through my head. It's really a testament to what human beings can do in the face of adversity. It's the type of thing where you really find out the true character of a person. In the face of total hopelessness you see who will never give up. Who will constantly try to find a way to fight on. In the movie Ethan Hawke is the star of the movie. But there's another actor in the movie who brings it. In fact he always brings it in every movie. Whenever I see him in a movie I'm going to watch it because I know at least one of the actors will be good. And I always wonder why this guy isn't more popular. And then it hits me. I don't know the guys name. I can't name it off the top of my head. Maybe that's the reason.
Now what does Alive have to do with the race? Well it will soon be answered.
I got into Charlotte at 10:30 and had to wait at baggage to pick up my carry on bag, because the plane was full and I couldn't take it on. I got picked up by my mom and went to the convention center to pick up the packet. Even though I hadn't been in Charlotte for nearly three months, I knew all the roads like the back of my hand. It was like I hadn't left. I got to the convention center and went down to the basement to pick up my packet. I think there has only been one year when I haven't ran the Thunder Road races. So I knew what was going to go down and really didn't have a need to buy anything at the expo.
I got home ate some lunch and watched Horrible Bosses. After that I had to write up some lesson plans, which took me some time. Aside from some breaks and a nap I finished around 7. I ate some dinner and watched some basketball and then went to bed around 9. I was going to wake up at 4:30 which was sleeping in for me. I went to bed and what seemed weird I was not nervous. In fact usually when I have raced a marathon I get some sort of dreaded feeling a week or two beforehand where I worry myself that I haven't done enough long runs or that I'm not prepared. But not for this race. I woke up. Took my dog out. Ate some breakfast and then took a shower. It wasn't that cold out. I left my house at 6. I parked my car across the street from MAC. And decided to do a warm up mile to see how my hamstring was. It wasn't that tight and I was feeling confident that today could be a good day. As I was walking to the convention center I had this sense, that no matter how I run at noon I'll be eating a burger. So honestly it didn't really matter one way or another. I was going to either do well or not. That's how it goes.
There's a picture of myself when I was coaching. It's from my first year in 2008. It's at regionals at McAlpine. I look agitated and annoyed. It's from the coaches meeting. I was this tense before the race had even started. I was tightly wound up at this point. It had to take a lot of things for me to relax and get more a Ty Webb approach to things. When I got asked about how I was going to do in the race from some co-workers I was pretty much nonplussed. It was also how I handled myself on a lot of things. I wasn't going to be worried about that many things. I wasn't going to sweat the small stuff. Things were going to get done, because if not then (if it's for my job) then I wouldn't be employed. So I really wasn't that worried.
I found out the convention center wasn't opened and I wasn't that bad. I went over to the Westin and sat down. What was I thinking about? Nothing. Honestly I didn't think about anything. I ended up walking to baggage claim at 7:30 and put my bag away in my rush I forgot to include my gel. I left it in my shorts which were in the bag. Big mistake. I realized this when I got to start line. I wasn't that happy. I talked to Stan and he offered me a gel, but it was a flavor I didn't like or had so I didn't want to risk it.
I got to the start line and then the race started. Honestly I had no idea what I could run. Maybe 2:40. Maybe 2:50. Maybe 3 hours. I had no idea. But one thing that I really wanted to concentrate was on my form. Just relax and work on my form. And that's what I did. I felt very smooth and knew that I was running well. There was one thought in the back of my mind, I really hope there is a gel station on the course because I'm on borrowed time. After mile 4 on Providence I passed Dustin's house. I remember the last time I was there I helped him move. HOW MANY COUCHES CAN YOU BRING. THIS IS MY NIGHTMARE. Although his mom did make killer french toast. I ended up feeling good for a long part of the beginning of the race. I got up to 8 miles or so and the biker was next to me. I asked him what was on the front of his bike. He said third place male, which is what I was. Well I couldn't believe it. Really. Well this might be good. But I wasn't patting myself on the back.
For most of the race it's boring to talk about. I mean I felt good and ran like it. It didn't feel like I was trying and I was clicking sub 6 minute miles. That's about it. I got to the half past 79 minutes which is what I wanted to do. I had to stop and tie my shoe about a mile later. At 16 I asked Kent if he had a gel. Later on he told me "What the hell B-Mac." is what he was thinking. It was at this point when I knew I wasn't going to be feeling good. The only calories I had put in my body were sips of gatorade. The crash was coming but I was still positive. I got some shot blocks but they really weren't that helpful. I got to around 18 and I heard this voice that sounded like God or the Devil yelling out BRIAN MCMAHON. I looked around and saw Bubonic Funk playing and that the person yelling out my name was the drummer, Daniel Allison, who I use to coach.
At this point I was staring in AMC's The Walking Dead. Kent said my stride was smooth. I knew it was. The frustrating thing was I had no gas from the lack of calories and that my calved tightened up on both legs. But I soldiered on. I didn't want to run a 7 minute mile. I didn't. My thoughts of running a 2:40 or faster marathon ended. I knew that as long as I kept it positive I would PR. I ended up running under 2:45. Not bad. It is what it is. I finished fourth overall in the race. Not something I cared that much about. I did some sort of Bjorn Borg/Roger Federer finish but felt dumb for doing it, right after finishing it. I wasn't that tired or spent. I was during the final 10k, but at the finish I felt ok. I took my singlet off and walked around. I talked to some people and then when it seemed that I really didn't want to stay around for awards went home. I was going to take a shower and then I looked in the mirror. OH MY GOD!!!!! LOOK HOW SKINNY I AM!!!!!!!!! Now I'm not that big of a guy. Maybe low 140s for my weight. But in the mirror I can say the adjective I'm looking for is skeletonish. I could see every rib. I had to have lost 10 pounds during the race. During the race my body needed to consume something for calories and decided to eat myself (well I do have a tasty nugent center). I then ate a lot to get this back, which is a terrible idea and I was sick for ages.
I went out that night with Chris, Kent, Karen, and Jill. We went to the Penguin. And I had a lot of fun. It was a great night. Sometimes when you think about something and some of the things you miss, a night like that brings it back.
So some thanks now but really to two people in particular: Kent for riding next to me for most of the race, giving me positive vibes and being there. Chris for helping me out and riding next to me, positive vibes, offering up things for me, and for always being there when things when bad a long time ago. If there is one thing I miss about Charlotte is hanging out with these guys and then fun we have. Do we take ourselves seriously? Maybe not so much, but we have fun and don't take things so seriously. It's so fun to go out and hang out with them. I had to say it.
For the people of Charlotte who cheered for me thanks. For those who rode with me thanks. For my parents thanks for so many things.
I guess when I think about things about the race it hasn't really hit me that I ran that time. It's not something that I'm going to dwell on. It's not something that I'm going to rest my laurels on. I'm not going to lose that much sleep over it. Mainly I'm pissed right now. I can't believe I didn't have my gel with me. Maybe that helps me out. Maybe it doesn't. But I can't really think to much about it now. I was in Charlotte but gone before to long. I went back to DC and have to work tomorrow. I have a full week of work then a week off for Thanksgiving.
For twelve long weeks the marathon was something that I was looking forward. I don't have that anymore. But I know that I will have something to look forward soon. I have to find it. Now where do I go know from here? I could look into getting a real running coach. But really where is the fun in that? I've got that Lewis and Clark spirit in me. I have the research now from what a person can do without any speed work. I have my schedule down to what I can do and where I can do it. Maybe it's time to take it to another level. A coach might give me some guidance, but I'm think they would probably tell me things I already know.
When I first did a marathon I wanted to do one to see if I could do it. I ran 3:03 and never wanted to run another one again. It wasn't until July of the next year that I decided to run another one. I ran a 2:49. But now that I have ran a 2:44 I don't feel any different than I did two weeks ago. I guess that's the way I feel. I like running. I don't have the vested interest in it like other people. It's the sort of thing where I do it, not because I have to, but because I want to. I do my own thing and don't really worry anymore. I'm still concerned about how well I do, but I have that confidence in how things are going. I know that I've got some true friends out there and more than I thought.
When I left Charlotte I wasn't sure what was going to happen. I like to think that I'm the same type of person. I hope that still stays true for a long time.
